


Overcome

by Daisy_Lovely



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Character Death, Eating Disorders, Homophobia, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-05-05 00:17:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 69,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14604945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisy_Lovely/pseuds/Daisy_Lovely
Summary: After coming to Visage Hospital, Ivy might not hate her brother for saving her life after all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first fic in a very long time so I'm sorry if it's horrible!  
> Please note that there will be mentions of different types of abuse, so if you are sensative to that you may not want to read this but I will always put a note before the chapters that mention abuse.  
> (This chapter mentions sexual abuse)

"Thank you for coming in today, Ivy. I'm Mrs. Velour, the therapist here at Visage Hospital, but you can call me Sasha if you like. How are you feeling today?" Sasha asked as she sat in her chair waiting for Ivy to take the seat in front of her.   
"I'm about as good as I'll get. How about you, Mrs. Velour?" Ivy said while sitting down and looking at Sasha.   
"I'm fine. Now, I was hoping you could tell me a little bit on why you're here. It's not listed in your file on what exactly happened and I was hoping to find out more so it will be easier to understand and so I can give you the proper sessions." She said while looking through the girls file.   
"Um.. Okay. I guess I can do that, or you can just ask my brother since he was there." Ivy started to pick her nailpolish.   
"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to do that."  
"Fine."

\----------------------------  
_Ivy had just come home from visiting her grandparents house for the weekend, a tradition she's done since she could remember. The only problem, she hated every second of it. She kept going only because she didn't want anyone to suspect anything was wrong and start asking questions._

_"Hey Ivs, how was gran and pops? You okay?" Dustin asked as she walked past his room. She stopped to answer him._  
_"It was fine. You should really go some time. They ask for you a lot and I'm starting to run out of excuses for you. And yeah, I'm just tired. I'll probably take a nap or something."_  
_"I'll probably go next time. Thanks sis, I owe you one. Alright, I'll come get you when I get dinner ready. Love you, kid."_  
_"I love you too, Dustin."_  
_She turned to continue her walk to her room. Rubbing the tired and the small tear from her eyes and yawning._

_She set her bag on her bed and sat down to remove her shoes. Ivy then made her way to her bathroom slowly and opened her medicine cabinet. As she reached for the closest pill bottle, she shook it to make sure there was enough to do the job. Ivy grabbed the water cup she always has sitting on her bathroom counter for when she needed to take an asprin, and filled it with water._  
_As she opened the pill bottle, she looked at herself in the mirror, she could see the tired in her eyes and seen a tear was beginning to run down her cheek. She hadn't realised she started to cry. Then she began to take each pill, slowly so she wouldn't miss. Before she knew it, the world went black._

_"Hey Ivs, do you know wher- IVY!" Dustin quickly ran to her side, dropped to his knees and picked his sister up to hold her in his lap. "IVY WAKE UP! NO! WAKE UP!" he had seen the empty bottle slip out of her hand, falling when he picked her up. He checked to see if it was too late or if he still had a chance at saving his little sister._  
_There was a pulse, but it was slowing quickly. So he did the only thing he could think of. He lifted the toilet seat, picked Ivy up to be on her knees, and stuck a finger down her throat. She began to gag so he removed his fingers and then she started to vomit._  
_"Come on Ivs, let it out." he reached for his phone in his back pocket to call 911. She continued to vomit while he was on the phone then she started to cry and scream at him once he put his phone down on the counter._

_"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LET ME GO!" Ivy screamed while hitting her brother with the little strength she had. Dustin was trying to stop her so he could just hold her but she pushed him away._  
_The sound of sirens began to become closer, then the paramedics appeared in the doorway asking Dustin to get out of the bathroom so they could get to her. They set her on the gurney, strapped her in, then wheeled her out and into the ambulance._

_Dustin jumped into his car and began racing to the emergency room._

_"Hi sweetie, I'm Doctor Royale. I just need to ask you a few questions. First, what is your name and your age?"_  
_"Ivy. Ivy Winters and I'm 16."_  
_"Perfect. Second, do you know why you're here?" Royale asked as she began to write down Ivys information._  
_"Because my stupid brother stopped me from dying." Ivy began to cry again._  
_"I don't think he was being stupid, he clearly doesn't want to lose you. Especially in such a manner." She set her clipboard down on the end of the girl's bed and sat down in the chair next to her._  
_Ivy rolled her eyes and started to pick at her blanket._  
_"I'll be back soon to check on you again." Doctor Royale said while heading out of the room._

_Next thing Ivy remembered was falling asleep._  
_Dustin walked in to see his sister, the one person in the world he loved more than anything, hooked up to an i.v., heart monitor, and something he assumed was for checking your blood pressure, and her eyes closed. He heard slight snoring so he knew she was sleeping. He walked over to the side of her bed that didn't have any wires or things he would mess up or crush, and climbed onto the bed to lay next to her._  
_Dustin wrapped his arm around her to hold her like he used to do when she would sneak into his room at night to sleep with him when she was scared. He began to softly cry._

_"Why would you do this, Ivy?" he asked in a whisper so he wouldn't wake her. He ended up falling asleep as well to the beeps of her heart monitor._

_Her arrival to Visage Hospital, or as she calls it, the 'mental hospital', was a blur._

\----------------------------

Sasha looked at Ivy and wiped a tear from her cheek. What was put on the girls file was 'slight attempt' which could have meant anything. But hearing the girl explain it, broke her heart.   
Ivy wiped her face of the tears that were starting to stain it. She looked up to see that Mrs. Velour was looking at her with such sadness in her eyes. She began to think that she should be used to hearing things like this, there had to of been other patients here who have attempted, maybe some who tried in a stronger way instead of an overdose like her.

"I'm sorry, I just... I thought that you would be used to this kind of talk." Ivy said as she sat up.   
"I am, but each time I hear them it breaks my heart. I'm sorry dear." Sasha explained while looking back down at her folder. "So, can we talk about why you wanted to do it?" she looked back at the girl to see her eyes grow wide.

"Um.. I guess now is a good of time than ever. Yes, Mrs. Velour, I would like to finally tell someone." Ivy answered as she sat up straight and looked her in the eyes. She can feel the fear growing in her stomach but felt courage as well to finally tell someone what was her reason for wanting to die.

"I was being molested and raped by my pops." She came right out with it.

Sasha dropped her pen and her mouth could have dropped to the floor as well. Her heart broke into pieces hearing this come from the beautiful girls mouth and couldn't believe what she was hearing or the pain the poor girl was trying to hide.

"You never told anyone this? Not the doctors at the hospital? Not the police?" Sasha asked.  
"No. I was to- I was told that if I said anything, I would feel what real pain was." Ivy looked back to her lap and began picking her nails again.

"Ivy, do you want to tell me more?" Sasha asked while leaning closer to the girl. Ivy nodded yes.  
"Is it okay if I hold your hand while you tell me?" Ivy nodded yes again and let Sasha grab her hand.

"He has been doing it for years, the earliest I can remember is maybe, five years old? But then it was just touching, he didn't start to force me into sex until I was thirteen." her voice began to shake and tears started to run down her face again. She wiped them off.   
"When I was little, I used to think that this was normal and every girl my age was going through it. But then I learned that it was wrong. When I went to his and grans house for my weekend visits, I told him that it was wrong and I didn't want him to continue it. He just laughed and told me that they just said that because only bad girls were the ones who didn't get it, good girls were the ones who got it and got gifts after, and then he started to buy me things so I could keep my mouth shut and believe that he was right." Ivy began to shake and cry harder once her voice cracked.

Sasha couldn't stop her own tears and started to rub circles onto the girls hand with her thumb.   
"Ivy, you can stop talking about it if you need too. You're starting to have a panic attack. May I hug you?" the woman looked at Ivy and seen the girls breathing begin to get faster and she nodded.

Sasha pulled Ivy into her arms to hug the girl and began to rub soft circles onto her back to help calm her.   
Ivy only started to panic more, then she started to scream, scratch at herself, cry harder, and push Sasha.

The woman had no choice but to call Miss Bianca in, the doctor for the hospital. She watched as Bianca gave Ivy a shot of something that started to calm her down and eventually she was asleep. The two nurses that came in with Bianca helped put Ivy onto a gurney and pushed the girl to her room.

As Sasha was standing in the corner of her office watching and crying, knowing she couldn't do anything to help the poor girl in that moment, she remembered that she can.

"Was she anxious the whole visit or did it come from no-" Bianca began to ask before Sasha cut her off.  
"Bianca, we need to bring in Michelle. We need to call the police." Bianca looked at her in confusion.  
"We don't need the police for that."   
"Bianca, that girl just told me the reasoning for her attempt. That girl was being sexually abused by her grandfather and attempted so she could get away from the man instead of telling someone. We need to call the police. Now." Sasha then walked past Bianca to head for Michelles office.

Once what Sasha had just said hit Bianca, she seen the other woman walk past her and she quickly followed. This young girl needed justice and these women were going to make sure she got it.


	2. Chapter 2

As Sasha and Bianca were walking to Michelle's office, Sasha couldn't stop thinking of everything the young girl had told her. She never understood how or why someone could harm a child like this, or in any way. She felt very determined to help get this monster put away for the pain, trauma, and everything else this poor girl felt. 

Bianca couldn't stop thinking of the pain she seen and heard as Sasha told her what had sparked the younger girl into an attack. She then began thinking of another young girl from two years ago who told her about a similar topic in her office, before she began working at Visage Hospital, except it was physical abuse. 

 

\----------

_ “Hello Miss Mattel, how have you been feeling?” Bianca asked as she started to check Trixie’s heartbeat.  _

_ “I’ve been, okay..” Trixie answered, hesitation clearly showing. _

_ “Miss Mattel, I have been in this profession longer than you have been alive. I know when someone is having a hard time answering.” She said while writing down her notes of the girl’s health.  _

 

_ “I'm just.. I-I hurt my finger and I think it might be broken.” Trixie lifted her hand so she could show Bianca the finger she was talking about.  _

_ “Trixie, what happened? That is clearly broken! Why didn't you go to the emergency room right away?!” Bianca couldn't help to raise her voice when she felt like the obvious things were showing in these type of situations.  _

 

_ Trixie couldn't help but tense up as Bianca raised her voice. She also couldn't help the tears that were starting to fill her eyes and the tense feeling in her chest. She only knew this feeling whenever he would do it. But this was different, this was Mrs. Bianca. She trusted this woman with her life and seen her as a mother figure, she knew this wasn't going to end like it did with him.  _

 

_ “I-I'm sorry! Please don't be mad at me! I'll fix it, just please don't be mad!” Trixie grabbed Bianca's hand and brought it close to her so she could beg for forgiveness, something she was way to used too. As she let the tears finally come out, she couldn't help but say “please don't be mad” repeatedly in a whisper into the woman's hand.  _

 

_ Bianca watched as this young girl broke down and begged her to forgive her. She didn't understand what was going on, but felt something was wrong more than just a broken finger.  _

 

_ “Um, Trixie, sweetie. I'm not upset, or angry with you, it's okay. I'm sorry for raising my voice, I shouldn't have done that. It's just in my nature to be loud. But, I would like to ask you something. What exactly caused this broken finger?” As Bianca was talking, Trixie started to calm down as she heard the woman speak in such a soft and loving tone. Bianca then grabbed a tissue and started to gently wipe the girls tears while giving her a smile. _

 

_ Trixie smiled softly then looked down at her lap.  _

 

_ “I broke it on.. I accidentally slammed my door on it..” she hesitated but tried to hide it with a small laugh.  _

_ “I don't believe that for a second, Trixie. I would see bruising from the door across your finger. Plus, how would you only get one finger caught on a door? It would be at least two.” Bianca started to look over the girls finger.  _

 

_ “He didn't mean to break it! Honest! I was raising my voice and pointing towards the kitchen. He grabbed it and pushed me out of the way after he pulled me away from him. It was after I started to cry about it that he realized he had hurt it.. Oh shit. OH SHIT!!” She then noticed what she just admitted to Bianca.  _

 

_ “Trixie, are you telling me that your dad did this to you?” She seen the younger girl’s face turn from terrified to angry.  _

_ “STEP-dad. I've told you this before, Bianca. My dad bailed when I was seven.” Trixie watched as Bianca was starting to wrap her finger and hand.  _

 

_ “That's right, I'm sorry dear. Now, I was wrong. It's not broken, just sprained. You should be fine in a week or two. We just have to keep an eye on it.” She finished wrapping her hand and seen the girl start to move so she can get up and leave the office. “Hang on Trixie, I have a couple of things to ask before you leave.” she grabbed her clipboard to make if seem like she was reading off of her notes.  _

 

_ “Oh, okay. Ask away, Mrs. Bianca.” Trixie smiled as she adjusted herself to be comfortable for the questions.  _

_ “I noticed a few bruises on your legs and arms, as well as a faint bruise under your eye that your concealer was hiding but is now joining us.” Trixie softly touched under her eye to see that her makeup was in fact starting to come off from her tears.  _

 

_ “Now, correct me if I'm wrong but, has he done more to you than injuring your finger?”  _

_ “Um, no.. I'm just very accident prone.” she looked at Bianca hoping she was being convincing enough, but the look on the womans face told her she failed.  _

_ “Trixie, you don't have to lie.” Bianca said softly, almost as a whisper.  _

_ “Then you should know the answer by now... This is the first time he's done more than leave a mark though...”  _

 

_ Bianca stepped back to grab something from a drawer, when she turned around she handed Trixie a paper that had questions and an outline of the human body.  _

_ “I want you to answer these for me really quick and with the diagram, mark where he usually.. Where he usually hits you. I'll be right back, going to get an ice pack.”  _

 

_ Bianca went to her office so she can make a quick phone call to her friend that works for the police and her friend who worked with child protective services. She's only had to do this once before, for a much smaller child, but she knew this would not end anytime soon. Trixie was only fifteen.  _

_ Shortly after, the friends Bianca had called showed up ready to do their job. The officer took Trixies stepfather away in handcuffs and the other, who works for CPS had taken Trixie.  _

 

_ Two months after she was taken from her home because her mother had bailed the man from jail, she showed up at Visage Hospital. Trixie had ongoing PTSD and many anxiety attacks from people yelling or getting angry at her and she always panicked that she would do something wrong whenever she tried to do anything.  _

_ “Bianca, she would do better at my hospital than she is doing here. She is not getting along with any of the kids here and you said yourself that her anxiety, ptsd and the small signs of depression that she has been showing, is scoring in the high areas. If you want, you can come with her. We need a new doctor at the hospital and I was planning on asking you anyway.”  _

_ “Ugh, you're right. She does need closer observation and if we both went there, I'd have a better chance at doing that. Okay, I'll take it.” _

_ \---------- _

 

Bianca couldn't believe that had been two years already. 

When she finally realized that she should have been paying attention this whole time, she noticed Michelle looking like she was going to cry and pissed off at the same time. 

 

“Michelle, this girl needs help. She's new but not completely moved in. She could still be brought around that animal!” Sasha was practically yelling at this time. 

“Bianca, do you still have that friend that works for the police?” Michelle moved her stare from Sasha to her now. 

“Of course! I'll call him right away.” Bianca took out her phone and quickly dialed. 

 

While Bianca was on the phone, Michelle and Sasha just stared at each other in disbelief that yet another young girl was being harmed. Right under their nose. 

 

“They'll be here soon, Michelle.” Bianca put her phone back into her pocket and sat in the chair next to Sasha. 

 

“Thank you for letting me know, Sasha. He was listed on her visitors list and ‘in room visits’ are marked on her forms. Not just for him, for everyone listed. But who knows what could have happened if she hadn't told you.” Michelle sighed and continued to read over Ivy's file to see if there were any obvious signs that could have been listed that she missed but found none. 

 

Ten minutes later.

 

“Excuse me, Michelle. There are two officers here asking to see you. Should I bring them back or do you want to meet them in the front?” 

“Bring them back please. Thank you, Tatianna.”

 

“Michelle would like you to meet her in her office. Follow me please.” Tatianna led the officers to Michelles office.

 

“Thank you for coming out so quickly.” Michelle began. “Bianca told you what was going on, correct?” she looked over to the woman and received a small nod. 

“Perfect. This is Sasha, she's our new therapist here at the hospital. She is the one the girl told what has been going on, so she's who will be telling you everything.” Michelle then sat back to listen.

 

After Sasha had explained everything that Ivy told her, she sat back and waited for a response. The entire room was quiet. Finally, one of the officers spoke up. 

“Is the girl able to speak with us?” he looked between each of the women in the room. 

 

“She should be awake by now, I'm sure she will be fine with answering a few questions.” Bianca spoke up.

“And if she's not, we'll use what Miss Sasha gave us as our motive to arrest him.” the officer answered. 

\----------

Ivy woke up and looked around to see that she is back into her temporary room, realizing it was not a dream and she just gave away her biggest secret. The room she's supposed to be moving into soon is still being worked on. 

“Shit...” she whispered while rubbing her arm where she received the shot from Miss Bianca. 

 

She stood up and began to walk towards the window in her room. She looked out and seen a few groups of people, five at most in both, working on the garden and tending to the small pond feeding the fish that occupies it. 

Ivy began to wonder what job she would soon be given or if she would just be stuck inside all day. She honestly didn't mind either, she was used to being home all of the time but she was also used to having a job to do around the house as well. Since it was just herself and Dustin, they broke up the chores of the house between each other. She knew how to mow a lawn and tend to a garden, but she also knew how to clean the inside of a house too like, clean the bathroom, kitchen and living room. Ivy knew she was a fast learner so she had a strong confidence that she would be able to do anything they gave her.

 

Until she heard a knock at her door and seen several people walk in, two being police. Then her confidence dropped along with her heart and she knew this was it. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! You can find me on tumblr at:  
> daisy-lovely21  
> 

It's been three days since Ivy admitted everything to Sasha, Bianca, Michelle and the police. She hasn't talked to her brother since her first day here which was four days ago.  
Ivy knew she wouldn't hear from her grandmother for awhile, if at all anymore. In a way, she didn't care if she ever heard from her again. In her heart she felt like the woman knew what was happening but chose not to look or listen, but then she felt like she didn't know at all and was just as shocked as anybody else who knew the family and found out about it.  
What she couldn't stop thinking about was what Dustin was thinking and what her parents would have done when they found out. Sadly, she'll never know.

Before she and her brother were born, their parents travelled with a circus. When her mother became pregnant with Dustin, she calmed down on her acts and started to run the snack areas. When she became pregnant with Ivy, their parents quit all together to raise the kids and have a normal family life.

Once Ivy turned fourteen, her parents wanted to give it one more try and set off with the circus again when it was in town. Sadly, they never made it back. On their first night back, the tent went up in flames quickly and they never made it out.  
Dustin has been raising her on his own, with small help from their grandparents, ever since.  
The only thing she truly has that helps her remember them are her memories, her skills at fire eating and juggling.  
\----------

Ivy started down the hall to head to where lunch is held today, in the picnic area outside.  
Everyone she’d seen seemed to love the idea, and she couldn't disagree. It's a nice, sunny day making the garden look even more colorful than she's seen since she arrived.  
She sat down with her tray and began to start eating, ignoring the feeling of eyes on her. She figured it was normal since she is the new girl and all.

“Who is that?” asked Adore as she adjusted herself onto the grass.  
“The new girl, she has a plant-like name too.” Violet answered as she tried to make it seem as if she ate some of her food. “I don't remember what it is because I only heard it mentioned in passing by Bianca. I don't think it's after a flower though.”

“She's alone… We should talk to-”  
“NO ADORE!”  
“VI! Don't you remember your first day here and how alone you felt?”  
“Yeah, so?”  
“That's not fair. She could be feeling extremely alone.”  
“Not. My. Problem.”  
“What about Max? Do you think Max would have just sat he-”  
“Max is dead, Adore. It doesn't matter what she would have done anymore.” Violet wiped her cheek free of the tear that had escaped as she thought of her friend. “Fine, let's go introduce ourselves.”

Adore felt bad for bringing her up, but she knew that it would have sparked a fire under Violets ass to be nice for once.  
They walked over to the new girl and hoped it would go well.

Ivy felt eyes on her again and when she turned to look she seen two beautiful, smiling girls.

“Hi, I'm Adore!” the girl waved to Ivy.  
“I'm Violet.”  
“We just wanted to introduce ourselves and possibly join you? I know you're new and I remember my first time here. It's always nice to make a friend on your first day!” Adore smiled more.

“Well that's very nice, but I've been here maybe four days now... Today is just my first day out in the open with everyone. I was staying in a temp. room until mine was ready, which I guess is today since I'm free from confinement. Oh, and my name is Ivy. Ivy Winters.” she set her fork down so she could shake their hands.

“Did, did you say Winters?” Adore asked as she shook hands with Ivy.  
“Mhm. Why, is that a bad thing?” Ivy asked confused.  
“Your brother is Dustin right?”  
“Yeah…”  
“No way! He's friends with my cousin! John Delano!” Adore bounced while clapping her hands in excitement until Violet stopped her.  
“I don't remember if I've met him. I'm sorry, I hardly seen Dustin's friends.” Ivy began to braid her hair into a side braid.

“It's cool, John can be a bit boring so I wouldn't expect you to remember him.” Adore sat on the bench across from Ivy. “Sorry, my back is hurting.”

“Don't worry, you can sit. You can sit too if you want, Violet.” She smiled up to look at the other girl but noticed she had her eyes on something else in the distance.

Both Ivy and Adore followed the girls stare and seen she was looking at a blonde girl across the lawn.

“Oh shit. That's Pearl, she is Vi’s not so secret crush.” Adore whispered over to Ivy.  
“It's not a secret to you because I told you, dumbass.” Violet answered as she quickly sat down next to her.

Ivy noticed that Pearl began to look at their table towards Violet and thought she seen a small smile but the girl looked away too fast for her to truly tell.  
\----------  
After lunch, Ivy and her two new friends made their way to the mandatory group meeting. She was happy that her two friends were in the same group as her.

“Hello everyone, we have someone new joining us today so I would like us all to introduce ourselves and say why we're here. I'll start. I'm Sasha, the hospital's therapist and group leader.”  
“Hi, I'm Jinkx. I have narcolepsy and depression. I also had a suicide attempt...”  
“Hello, I'm Adore. I have anorexia and depression!”  
“I'm Ivy and I have anxiety, ptsd, depression and attempted suicide.”  
“Katya. I have schizophrenia.”  
“Hi, I'm Trixie and I have ptsd, and anxiety.”  
“Hey, I'm Pearl. I have depression and…. Yeah. Depression.”

“Pearl. It's good to be honest with yourself dear.”  
“I am, Sasha. I don't think announcing the rest is good. For me.”  
“Try it.”

“Ugh, I'm Pearl and I have depression and internalized homophobia. Happy?”  
“Very. Thanks Pearl.”

“I'm Violet, I have anorexia and bipolar disorder.”  
“Violet, remember what I said in the last meeting.”  
“We are not to use that word because it might make some feel less of a person or something. I'm sorry.”  
“Yes, very good.”

“I'm Raja, I have an addiction, uh problem. And gender dysphoria.”  
“Hello, I'm Courtney and I have bulimia.”

Ivy looked around as they were going through everyone and what brought them here, but what she couldn't stop thinking of was the beautiful ginger haired girl sitting next to Adore. Jinkx, was her name. She knew she might be staring a bit too much but she couldn't help it.  
Then she noticed that the girl began to stare back, except she smiled when she looked at Ivy. She felt her cheeks warm and knew she was blushing so she quickly looked away.

Jinkx liked the idea that someone was watching them, made them feel beautiful in that moment. They felt like the girl should know their proper pronouns so she wouldn't call them by the wrong ones like everyone else did on their first day here.  
\----------  
After their group, Ivy decided that she wanted to go out into the garden to look around and see what she would find.  
She walked around the rose bushes, stopping to smell each one, then she landed upon the daisies. Daisies have always been her favorites, they are beautiful, smell nice, reminded her of her mother, and always light up a room in the smallest ways.

She sat in front of them and started to softly talk to them. Whenever she missed her mom she would go out into the garden at her house and talk to them, so seeing that the garden here had them as well made her feel happy and not alone anymore.

“Oh mom, I'm sorry I haven't been the best daughter you were hoping for in every way possible. I love you, I wish you were here..” She began to think about the memories she had with her mom and the flowers.

“Hey Daisy.” a voice behind her said softly hoping not to scare her.  
“Oh, hi Jinkx. And my name is Ivy.” she smiled at her.  
“Yeah, I think I'm going to call you Daisy instead. The flowers fit you well. Really make you look more beautiful.”  
“You think I'm beautiful, Jinkx?” her cheeks began to heat up again.  
“Who wouldn't? You're gorgeous.”

Jinkx sat next to Ivy and watched as she blushed while trying to hide it along with her smile.

“Hey Jinkxy! Hi Ivy!” Adore bounced from her heels to her toes several times.  
“Hi Adore, what's up?” Ivy asked as she looked up to see the girl.  
“We wanted to know who your roommate is.”  
“We?”  
“Mhm. The group. A couple of them don't have roommates so they're just curious.”  
“Oh, um.. I don't remember if Sasha told me or not.”  
“That's okay! It can be a surprise for you, that'll be fun!”

Adore then skipped away from Jinkx and Ivy back to Violet.

“It's nice to see her happy.” Jinkx said as they were making a flower crown.  
“Does it not happen a lot?”  
“No. Hell, she hardly talks sometimes. I think the last time I seen her that happy was about two weeks ago when her brother came to visit her.”  
“Oh wow.. Well at least she's happy today.” Ivy looked at Jinkx and smiled.  
“Here, this will look beautiful on you.” Jinkx put the flower crown on Ivy and moved her hair so it would fit better.  
Ivy smiled and hugged Jinkx after they fixed the crown.  
“Thank you, Jinkx”

\----------  
“Katya, you know that I can't sleep over anymore. I'm sorry baby.”  
“It's not fair, Trixie. They caught us once and made us not be roommates anymore. Pearl doesn't cuddle me at night when I'm upset, you did!” Katya started to cry.

Before Trixie could answer back, Bianca came into the room.  
“Girls, you know you can't be in the room alone with the door closed.”  
“I know!”  
“Katya, calm down.” Trixie said as she rubbed her back.  
“Look, I just came to tell you it's medicine time. I'll see you at my office.” Bianca left their room and went to the next room.

Katya grabbed the plastic fork she kept hidden under her mattress and headed for the door as if she was after Mrs. Bianca. Trixie began to worry.

“Katya, you know you can't do that or they will put you back into the white room.”  
“Trixie, maybe I should go back to it.”

Katya then continues heading for the door in the same direction their doctor went then pushes Trixie out of her way and goes into the hallway.

“Katya... KATYA!” Trixie yelled as she ran out of Katya's room to see her down the hall. “Katya!”

Katya turned to look at Trixie, smiled, then ran down the hallway and jumped onto Bianca's back. Once she got Bianca on the ground, she turned her over and she began to start hitting her face and ended up breaking her plastic fork after a few hard blows onto Bianca.

Trixie ran down the hallway and grabbed Katya off of Bianca so she would stop then threw her against the wall. She watched as Katya held her shoulder as she slowly went down the wall and sat down. Trixie then sat next to Bianca and seen that her eyes were closed and her face was bloody.

“Shit! Shit! Bianca! Please wake up!” Trixie starts to shake Bianca by her shoulder. She sees Adore and Violet come out of their room. “Adore! Go get Sasha! Now!”

Adore starts to run down towards Sashas office while Violet runs next to Trixie and Bianca.

“What the hell happened, Trixie!” Violet helped hold Bianca up as the other girl began to wipe some of the blood off of her face.

“Katya, she just snapped. I don't really know what happened. She said something about going back into the white room and took off out of the room. Before she attacked Bianca she smiled at me then ran and jumped onto her back but turned her over after she was taken down. Then she just wouldn't stop hitting her.” Trixie noticed her voice had a shake to it and tried to hide it with a cough.

Violet put Bianca's head into her lap and checked her breathing.  
“She's still breathing but it's very low. She needs to go to the hospital. Fast or she can die.”

Sasha and Adore then appeared in the hallway heading to them quickly.  
“What happened?! Is she awake?!” Sasha quickly asked as she dropped to her knees next to Bianca and began to examine her friend.

Trixie explained what had happened, again, to Sasha and Adore. Violet carefully put Bianca into Sasha's lap and stood up looking at Katya.

“Katya, why did you do this to her! Why?! All she ever did was help you and you almost killed her!” Violet had her pushed against the wall and was so close to her face that Katya went for the kill and kissed her. Violet jumped back and slapped Katya.  
“Don't you ever, EVER, touch me again! You have Trixie, don't act like that!” Violet walked back to Sasha, Trixie and Bianca.

“Trixie, I'm sorry! I didn't mean-’’ Katya began but was quickly cut off.  
“I don't want to hear it. You're a monster, Katya! Violet is right, she was the one who helped you when you thought you had no-one! I was there when she couldn't be and this is the thanks she gets?!” Trixie was now in her face.  
“It wasn't me! I was told to do it! I didn't mean it!” Katya began to cry.

Sasha kept cleaning off Bianca's face while Adore was singing to her softly. Both hoping it would help wake the woman up. Bianca had always mentioned how much she enjoyed hearing Adore sing and how it always put her in a better mood if she was having an off day, so both women had high hopes that her singing would bring Bianca back from the state she was in at this moment. When they realized that she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, Sasha pulled out her phone and called for an ambulance.

 **And just surrender**  
**Live forever**  
**Is all ours tonight**

  
Adore sat next to Bianca while Sasha called and held her hand. The older woman knew Adore had some type of feelings for her just by how she smiled and hugged her whenever she walked into the room, but Adore didn't know she or anyone else knew.

 **A million stars light up the night**  
**The constellations give me life**  
**And heaven's boulevard it's shinin'**  
**I'm givin' in, and let it go**  
**The constellations fill my soul**  
**Our hearts beats are on zero gravity**

“You're going to be okay Mrs. Bianca. I just know you will be! You're strong enough to overcome anything!” Adore whispered to her and could have sworn she seen a small smile appear on the older womans face. “Mrs. Bianca? Did you, did you just smile?”

“I'm not married, it's not Mrs. it's only Miss.” Bianca answered softly barely able to open both of her eyes. One was completely swollen shut and the other was open enough to see Adores shining smile. "Could you continue the song please, it's always been one of my favorites." 

"Of course!"

 **This is our world, decorate the dancefloor**  
**Through a new dimension we go**  
**Supernatural, love and take it shout out**  
**Losin' in a sky full of gold**

Before she could enjoy the song like she knew it deserved, Bianca found a way to sit herself up and began to panic.  
“Wait! Sasha! Ivy needs her meds and so does Courtney or they will get sick!”  
“Bianca! You're awake!” Trixie yelled.  
“Yeah, I am. Now, can we get those girls their meds before they end up blacking out or worse!”

Adore helped Bianca up but quickly set her into a chair.  
“What are you doing, Delano? I need to go get their meds!”  
“You need to sit here and wait for the ambulance. Sasha can get the meds.” Trixie answered.

Bianca showed she was irritated but decided it would be best to go get checked out in case she had a concussion.  
“Fine. Sasha, their files are on my desk and the meds are listed.”

While Sasha was in the office getting the list of the meds she would need to give, the ambulance arrived and loaded Bianca inside. Adore waved goodbye to her and began to head back to her room that she shared with Violet.

“She's going to be okay, Adore. Don't worry.” Violet hugged her friend and they went to bed as Sasha made her rounds with meds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Thank you for reading and leaving comments & kudos, they make my heart warm!  
> Again you can find me on tumblr at: daisy-lovely21
> 
> TW: mentions of eating disorder  
> The first part of this chapter is taking place the night before then the rest of the chapter is the next day. I put a mark telling where the chapter switches. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Sasha, how come you're doing med rounds?” Courtney asked as she took the small cup that held her dose and quickly swallowed. “Thank you.”

“Oh, um, Bianca had something to take care of.” Sasha added Courtneys cup with the others and crossed her name off of the list. 

“Did it have something to do with all that screaming I heard?” Courtney sat back onto her bed. 

 

“I'm afraid so dear. She was attacked and had to be rushed to the hospital.” Sasha seen the young girls eyes begin to water. “She's going to be okay, Courtney. Don't worry, just keep positive thoughts and she'll be back before you know it.” 

Courtney nods and gives Sasha a small smile. 

 

“It's time for bed now, try and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning.” 

“Good night Sasha.” Courtney laid down and brought her blanket to her chin for comfort. 

“Good night Courtney.” 

 

Sasha turned her light out and left the room. As she closed the girls door she took a few deep breaths to keep herself from crying over her friend and how the news will quickly spread to the rest of the girls. She then looked at her list to see who was next for their meds but was brought out of focus as she then heard screaming and other loud yelling. 

She quickly ran down the hall to see if another fight was taking place. As she made her way around the corner she seen both nurses, Tatianna and Willam, trying to calm Katya down so they could take her to the white room. 

 

“Come on sweetie, it's okay. You're going to be okay, I promise. Please calm do- FUCK!” Katya had then hit Tatianna on her nose causing the nurse to let go of the girls arm. 

“Katya! Enough! You are going to come with me right now!” Willam began to take hold of the arm her friend had let go of and stood behind the young girl with both arms held at Katya's elbows. 

 

Sasha quickly ran over to the small group.

“Katya, I need you to take those calming breaths we've been practicing in our meetings. Can you do that for me please?” As she is talking to the young girl she hands Tatianna a tissue to help stop the bleeding. 

“Sasha, we need to give her the-” Willam began but was cut off.

“Give me a minute.” Sasha then set her clipboard down onto the floor so she could reach Katya better. “Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?” Katya stopped struggling and nods yes.

“Thank you. Now, can you try those calming breaths?” another nod yes. “Good girl. Ready? Breath in. Good. Now out. Very good. Now another one in. Yes, good. Now out. Excellent.” 

 

As Katya was doing the breathing, Sasha began to notice she wasn't fighting or tensing up anymore. She waved Willams hands to slowly let go of her arms. Willam slowly moved her hands from the girl and stepped back just an inch. 

 

“Very good Katya. Now, will you follow Willam please?” Sasha picked up her clipboard and looked back to see Katya slowly start to shake her head. 

“I'll go only if you take me.” Katya said low enough to be a whisper. 

“I'm afraid I can't, I have med duty.” 

Katya looked down and nodded her head in agreement. 

“Okay. I'll go with them.” she said while wiping her cheek from the tear that managed to leak out. 

 

Sasha watched as the three walked down the hall to the double doors, then they were swallowed by the darkness. She looked at the wall clock and seen it was going on ten o’clock and quickly headed back to Courtney's room where she had left the med cart outside the girls door. 

 

She noticed the list wasn't in order of the girls and their roommates. It annoyed her but she knew how to fix it. As she made her way to the next girl on the lists room, she thinks to herself on when the roommate will finally be assigned to the girl. 

 

As she reached Trixie's door she heard what she thinks is sniffling and crying. As she knocked on the girls door she heard the sniffling again and a soft “come in.” she turned the doorknob and softly pushed the door to open. 

“Trixie, are you okay?”

“Are you serious? No I'm not okay. I just watched one of my favorite teachers get attacked and almost killed by my crazy girlfriend all because she told us that we weren't allowed in the same room together! She attacked her with a plastic fork and her own hands Sasha! And you ask if I'm okay!” Trixie began to cry more and punched her own pillow in anger towards Katya. 

“I know, I'm sorry Trixie. If you would like to know, Katya is headed to the white room as we speak. She also hit Tatianna and caused her nose to bleed and could have possibly broken it, so she will get into more trouble for that as well.” Sasha handed Trixie her medicine cup and water. “Here, time to take this.”

“Super!” Trixie gave two thumbs up causing Sasha to laugh a little bit before taking her meds. 

“Bedtime Trixie, see you in the morning.” Sasha checked her name off of the list and headed to the next girls room. 

 

As she finally finished the meds rounds with the last of the girls, she headed back to her office and ends up falling asleep on the couch she has the girls sit on during counseling sessions. 

\-----------

_ ~The next morning~ _

Ivy is woken up by the sunlight shining brightly into her eyes from her window. As she sits up and wipes her eyes of the tiredness, she removes her blanket, heads over to the window and notices something she didn't the night before.

“Bars on the window, nice.” she turns around and grabs her shower caddy and starts to head to the bathrooms. 

 

Since each room doesn't have a bathroom for safety reasons, the girls have to use the bathroom area provided for them. It holds eight toilet stalls, eight sinks, and eight shower stalls. 

 

While walking down the hall, she sees several other girls from group heading in the same direction. 

“Good morning!” She turns and sees Courtney walking next to her. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, actually. How about yourself?” 

“Oh yes! Although, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Mrs. Bianca..” 

 

Ivy stops walking and faces Courtney. 

“What do you mean? What happened to her?” 

“Sasha didn't tell you during med time? She said that Mrs. Bianca was attacked by one of the girls but didn't say who!” 

The girls begin walking to the bathroom again. 

 

When they walk into the bathroom, they overhear several girls talking about Bianca on their way out. Courtney sees Violet at the sink and quickly runs over to the girl.

“Violet, do you know what happened?” 

“What makes you think I would know? What, just because my room is next to where it happened doesn't mean I would automatically know Courtney!” She then grabs her caddy and storms out of the bathroom. 

 

“She's just in shock still so it's causing her moods to swing. Don't mind her.” Ivy turns to see Trixie leaving a stall and heading for the sink. “I was there though. It wasn't pretty.” Trixie dries her hands and sits on top of the counter as Ivy walks over to begin brushing her teeth at the right of the girl.

 

“Trixie, tell us please.” Courtney asks as she begins washing her face at the sink on the left of Trixie.

 

“Okay. Bianca was starting her med rounds and since Katya's room is closest to her office, she went there first. When she walked in she seen me and Katya talking and told us we knew not to be alone in the room with the door closed since we got in trouble. I guess that triggered something in Katya and when Bianca left to go to the next room, Katya grabbed the plastic fork she kept hidden under her mattress, that I didn't even know she had, and went after her. I chased after her to stop her but you know how fast that girl is and she quickly tackled Bianca to the ground. Once she had her down she turned her over and began…” she starts to cry. “She began to start beating her face with her fists and was managing to hit and cut her with the plastic fork as well. It ended up breaking because of how hard she was using it on her. I was finally able to get her off of Bianca and threw her against the wall and seen that Bianca's eyes were closed and she wasn't moving at all. I began to panic and that's when Adore and Violet came running out of their room. I yelled to Adore for her to go get Sasha and she did. Violet helped me check if Bianca was even alive still, and she said she was still breathing but it was slowly quickly. Adore appeared with Sasha and Violet then went over to Katya and started to scream at her asking why she did that to her when all she ever did was help her and Katya kissed her. Right in front of me. Violet slapped her and went back over to Bianca to help clean her face of the blood that was quickly spreading. Sasha called for an ambulance and Adore held Bianca's hand and started to sing to her, because everyone knows how much Bianca loves to hear her sing, I mean who doesn't. Then, out of nowhere Adore sees that she smiled and then Bianca started talking to her! Violet and I were in shock because Adore got her to wake up. Bianca then tried to fight all of us on getting up and finishing her rounds because she didn't want you two to end up getting sick from missing your doses. Hell, I didn't even get to have mine until later than I'm supposed too. So that's when Sasha agreed to take over her rounds and eventually the paramedics arrived and took her to the hospital. Katya was taken to the white room shortly after.” 

 

Both girls stand looking at Trixie, mouths open and their toothbrushes in hand. Courtney is the first to move by wiping her face, she isn't sure when she began crying but knew she was hurting for the woman currently in the hospital.

 

\----------

It is around lunch by the time everyone knows what happened to Bianca. The girls are allowed to eat outside again because the weather was nice yet again. 

 

Ivy went to the table she sat at yesterday and looks around at the other places the girls are taking over. 

A few tables away from hers she sees Adore, Violet and Courtney sitting together. One of the nurses are sitting with them as well.

 

As she starts to eat, she has a feeling someone is looking at her and when she looks up she sees Jinkx heading her way. 

 

“Is it okay if I join you?” Jinkx asks.

“Not at all” Ivy smiles at them. 

 

Jinkx takes a seat next to her and smiles back. Then they hear yelling. 

 

“Girls, you have to eat something or I'll have to report you.” Willam tells the girls. 

“I am not hungry, Willam. Therefore I don't need to eat. Now go away.” Violet responds. Anger clearly rising. 

“No, I know you haven't eaten and you need to do it or they will send you to the hospital where they will have to give you the feeding tube again. I know you, or any of you girls, don't want that.”

“Fuck off Willam. You can't force me to eat and if they even try to give me that tube again, I will happily rip it out of me.”

“Violet! You leave me no choice then!” Willam then brings out her walkie and calls for Sasha and Tatianna. “Yeah, I need assistance with Violet. Problems with eating again.”

 

“NO! NO! DON'T CALL THEM! PLEASE!” Violet stands up and starts yelling at Willam. 

“I told you that you left me no choice Violet. I meant my word.” 

“YOU BITCH! I HATE YOU!” she picks up her tray and throws it to the side of the table. 

“You should have at least listened and tried. Courtney is trying.”

“It won't last long, she'll throw it up once she has a chance!” she drops back into her seat and looks over to the direction Ivy and Jinkx are sitting then looks at Courtney who is clearly hurt from what she said, and smirks before she decides to yell at Jinkx. “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU GINGER BITCH!” 

“VIOLET!” Sasha appears from the side door and rushes over to the table. “You need to calm down. Will, what is the matter?” 

 

Willam explains what was going on and Sasha manages to lead Violet to her office without a fight. Since Adore and Courtney had no part in the whole argument they are told they don't have to go with her. But to be safe, Willam and Tatianna have to stay with the girls to make sure they didn't try and get rid of their food without eating it or by throwing it up. 

 

“Hey, don't let what Violet said get to you, okay?” Willam tells Courtney. 

“Oh she didn't hurt me, she thinks it does but it doesn't. Thank you though.” Courtney says while looking at her tray and starts to pick at her food with her fork. 

“Liar. But we can just leave it there.” Willam laughs. “Damn, is lunch almost over? My ass is starting to hurt.” 

“What ass?” Courtney and Tatianna ask at the same time. 

“Wow, rude bitches.” Willam tries to look offended but ends up laughing again. 

\---------------

After lunch, they are able to enjoy an hour of free time before group. Jinkx joins Ivy at the daisies again which seems to make Ivy smile even bigger than usual. They find the spots they sat at the day before and sit down.

 

“So Jinkx, is it okay if I ask why you tried to attempt suicide?” Ivy asks nervously. 

“Oh my, I knew this was coming.” Jinkx picks at the grass. 

“I'm sorry, you don't have to-”

“No, it's okay. We're friends right? Friends should know things about each other, good and the bad.” 

Jinkx begins to tell Ivy their story. 

 

“When I was about twelve, I started seeing myself as someone different compared to the other kids. I wasn't into the things the other kids were into, I was into the things opposite. Ivy, I'm transgender.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments & kudos, they are greatly appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note:  
> Sorry for not writing in so long, a lot has been a bit rough but I promise I will keep posting more!  
> Mentions of; Abuse(sexual & child abuse), eating disorders, attempts.

Ivy hugged Jinkx and rubbed their back. As she started backing away from the hug, she kissed their cheek. She felt Jinkx’s cheek get warm and a smile starting to form. Ivy looked at Jinkx and seen they were still smiling but looking down at their lap. 

 

“So, it doesn't bother you at all? Does this make you not want to be my friend? It bothered several others and some of the girls don't even talk to me anymore… Especially Violet. Pearl accepts me the most out of everyone. I think that's why Violet hates me so much.” 

“It doesn't bother me at all. Well, Pearl is now in second place because I accept you the most. I actually think it's brave and sweet of you to tell me this, Jinkx. What pronouns would you like me to use?” Ivy grabbed Jinkx’s hand and smiled. 

 

“I should probably tell Pearl she's in second place now. And I would like you to use they/them please.” Jinkx looked back to their lap and took a deep breath because they couldn't believe Ivy was taking this so well, unlike Violet and several other girls. 

 

“You got it, love. Oh, is it okay that I call you that? I used to say it to some of my close friends.” 

“It's perfectly fine if you call me that. But how come you're taking this so well? Most looked confused or shocked by it..” Jinkx looked to see Ivy smiling again. 

 

“I'm not like other girls.” Ivy moved a piece of hair from Jinkx’s hair and put it behind their ear and slightly rubbed her finger on their cheek. 

“You certainly aren't. You're much bet-” Jinkx was cut off by Tatianna. 

 

“I'm sorry to cut this short but I was told to get Ivy.” she looked at Ivy then Jinkx and smiled to see that Jinkx was finally connecting with someone other than Pearl. 

 

Ivy hugged Jinkx and got up to walk with Tatianna to an unfamiliar place of the hospital. 

 

“Where are we going?” Ivy asked looking around. 

“Visitors room. Don't worry, it's monitored by a security guard so nothing bad would happen.” she smiled at Ivy and held her hand.  She knew it helped some of the other girls to keep calm.

 

As they started to get closer to the room, Ivy started to panic that it was her grandmother coming to yell at her for causing so much drama and call her a liar or a brat. Her heart started to beat faster. 

 

“Ivy, I can feel your pulse. Are you okay sweetie?” Tatianna stopped and she seen tears starting to swell in the young girls eyes. “Do you need to take a few breaths before we continue?”

“Is it her? Or him? Please don't let it be him!” Ivy started to panic more and dropped to her knees and began crying. 

“Honey, we made sure to not add them to your visitors list. I think you'll actually love who is here to visit you.” she helped the young girl back up and they continued their walk. 

 

As Ivy looked through the window to the room she began crying once more, but this time it was out of happiness. She waited for Tatianna to open the door and she ran into her brothers arms. 

 

“DUSTIN! OH MY GOD!” Ivy started to hug tighter and felt her brothers tears hit the top of her head. He began to run his fingers through her hair like he used to do when she would sneak into his room at night. He knew it always calmed her. 

 

“I'm sorry I haven't come sooner, they said I had to wait a few days before I could visit. Something about waiting to see how your body reacts to the meds. God, I've missed you and your hugs.” As she let go, he wiped his face from the tears.

“I've missed you so much. You have no idea. Oh! I met a girl who claimed to know my last name and how it sounded familiar. Are you friends with someone named John?” she asked as they sat on the couch the hospital provided for a more comfortable visit. 

 

“Yeah! Do you mean Adore? She would always ask me to play guitar while she sang whenever I would go over to visit him. Wait, she's here too?” he asked while looking confused. 

“Yeah, she is really nice.” Ivy smiled.

\--------------

As Willam was still sitting with Courtney and Adore, she noticed Sasha was sitting with Pearl. When she heard scraping on a plate she looked back noticing Courtney was moving her food around to make it look like she ate more than she already had. Adore was noticing the same thing and grabbed Courtneys hand. She spoke before Willam had the chance. 

“Court, you know that's against the rules they made for you..” she rubbed her thumb on her friends hand for support. 

“Yeah Courtney. You know I would have to report you for doing that again. I don't want to have to do that, you've been doing so good.” 

“Please don't report me! I'll eat it all, just please don't report me.” she began to eat quickly. 

“Courtney slow down or you'll choke!” Willam stopped her by lowering her arm. 

Courtney looked to Adore and noticed that her plate was almost cleared, she hasn't eaten that much in months. Courtney wanted to be like her best friend, she really did. But her best friend didn't have the same problem she did, which made her more jealous. She dropped her fork and chewed the food that was still in her mouth. 

Adore only ate that much while Willam and Courtney were talking as motivation for her friend to eat. Her stomach began to hurt due to how much she's eaten. She hasn't eaten that much in so long is was starting to scare her. 

“Um.. Willam. Is Bianca back yet?” she noticed Willam was thinking of an answer that wouldn't make her upset.

“No, not yet hun. But I heard Sasha talking to Michelle about her return. Should be soon. 

Adore began to softly cry. The one person she really, truly, felt understood her was still away. Her heart began to feel more broken than when she seen Bianca on the ground. 

“Don't lie to me..”

“Adore, I'm not lying to you. Sasha is right over there with Pearl. You can ask her after lunch, which is in five minutes.” Willam said looking at the timer she had to use so lunch wouldn't go into the girls free time. 

Adore wiped her eyes and took one last bite of her lunch and looked to Courtney and seen her plate practically empty. Only one bite left and her plate would be totally empty. She smiled and started to clap happily like she usually did whenever something good happened around her or when she was excited. 

“Good job Courtney! I'm so proud of you!” she got up and went to her friend and hugged her, even kissed the top of her head. 

Courtney smiled and hugged Adore back. She jumped when the timer went off and looked to Willam. 

Willam stood up and announced that lunch was over and to put their trays, plates and cups into the bin. She also announced it was their free time. 

“Come on Courtney let's go sit by the lake to feed the fish! I know you love to do that!” Adore grabbed her friends hand and they began their walk. 

“Adore, I have to pee. I'll be right back.” 

“Okay! But hurry or I'll feed all of them!” she yelled back to her friend as Courtney began to fast walk to the bathroom. 

Courtney looked down each direction the hallway went and quickly ran to the bathroom and into a stall. She locked it, dropped to her knees, lifted the seat and stuck her fingers down her throat. As she began to throw up all the food she just ate, started to think of when this all started. She always thought of this whenever she would make herself throw up. It happened more after breakfast.

\--------

_ “Courtney! It's dinner time my dear!” her mother called up to her as she was finishing a drawing of a dress she was designing.  _

_ “Coming mother!” she put her sketch book down and started for the stairs.  _

_ “Sorry, I was working on the sketch for design class.” she sat at the table her mother and father were sitting waiting for their daughter to join.  _

_ “It's okay darling, how's it coming al-” her mother was cut off by her father.  _

_ “I'm tired of this shit. You know when dinner is! You should have been down here before your mother had to call you down!” her father slammed his fist onto the table as he yelled.  _

_ It always made her jump when he did that and he always laughed at her, calling her a scaredy cat. Which she hated almost as much as she hated him. She looked over to her mother and seen she had another black eye. That's the second one this month and it had only started two weeks ago. Her mother always made excuses on how they happened, even though she knew they were lies.  _

_ After dinner and clearing the table with her mother, she headed back to her room where her father was waiting on her bed looking at her sketch book. He began to laugh and look up at her.  _

_ “If only you were as skinny as the girls in your sketches. Look how chubby you're getting, you'll have to get a bigger shirt for cheer. Again. Hell, I should make sure you don't join for dinner anymore.” he ripped the page from her book and ripped it into small pieces. She began to cry but made sure he couldn't see or he would hit her again.  _

_ “I'll eat smaller or on the smaller plates. I'm sorry daddy..” he walked to her and grabbed her by the neck and pushed against the door.  _

_ “Yeah. That might make you skinnier.” he let go over her throat and slapped her. “And stop crying, you're not a baby.” he laughed again and headed back down the stairs to watch the t.v.  _

_ She knew she could be skinnier, but didn't know what would help. Diets would take longer and probably wouldn't help. Then she remembered what her friends were talking about yesterday after school as they all walked home. Throwing what they ate back up. She went to the bathroom that she had in her room and stuck her toothbrush down her throat and began what became an everyday thing after each course she ate. When her father noticed she was losing weight, he told her she was looking better and that she was easier to look at.  _

_ But one night, he entered her room and told her to keep quiet so her mother wouldn't hear. He put the gag in her mouth and removed her blanket and shorts. As a tear fell down the side of her face he slapped her. Calling her a cry baby yet again. She knew better than to fight back or she would have a black eye just like her mother.  _

_ When he was finished with her, he removed the gag and rubbed her cheek telling her how much of a good girl she was for not fighting him and for taking it so well. He threw her back her shorts and left the room adjusting his shorts and put the gag into the pocket.  _

_ When she finally came out about the abuse to her best friend in the morning the next day and went to class, she noticed her friend wasn't in class. She thought it was because her friend was in the bathroom doing her normal routine. Until she was called to the principal's office. As she walked in she seen her friend sitting in one of the chairs but was looking down at her hands. Her friend was crying.  _

_ “Courtney, miss Jennifer here told me something and I need you to confirm this before I take any action.” Principal Mark looked very concerned.  _

_ “Um, yeah. Sure. What is it?” she thought it was about the throwing up.  _

_ “I'm sorry Courtney.. I had to tell.” Jennifer looked at her still crying.  _

_ “What did yo-” she was cut off by Mark.  _

_ “Miss Act, are you being abused by your father sexually and physically?” he asked her.  _

_ She looked at Jennifer again and started to cry. She looked back at Mark as she wiped her face of the tears.  _

_ “Yes Mr. Mark.. I am..” she felt her heartbeat quicken so fast she thought she was going to pass out.  _

_ Not to long after that and after Jennifer was dismissed, she began to tell him about the vomiting problem she started having and how bad it was. She never told him that she got the idea from Jennifer to protect her friend.  _

_ About an hour later, police and a beautiful woman named Michelle came into the room. The police talked to Mr. Mark and Michelle took her to another room to speak with her. She agreed to go with her to her hospital. She was ready to finally get away from him.  _


	6. Chapter 6

After Courtney had finished, she grabbed the pack of gum she had taped under the top of the part that you can lift when something is wrong with the toilet. Luckily nothing has happened with this toilet or the staff would have to interview all the girls.  
Courtney returned to Adore and sat next to her friend. Adore smelled something very minty and looked at her friend. 

“You lied to me, didn't you. I was wondering why you were taking so long.”  
“I'm sorry.. I just couldn't take how fat I felt after eating that whole plate.” she looked down at her sweatpants. 

Adores eyes began to fill with tears.  
“Court, if I could eat my whole plate then you could have done the same and actually feel okay! I don't feel fa-”  
“I'M NOT LIKE YOU ADORE! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! WHY CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT?! FUCK!” Courtney started to run back to go inside until Willam stopped her. 

Willam smelled the mint gum she tried to hide under her tongue. 

“Courtney… did you throw up?”  
“No.. What makes you think that?” she smiled.  
“Because I can smell the gum.” Willam grabbed her walkie again and called for Michelle.

Michelle quickly arrived outside to help Willam bring her in and to her office. Sasha looked up to see what was going on and seen Courtney fighting with them to release her so she can go back to Adore and apologize for lying. 

“LET ME GO! ADORE! ADORE I'M SORRY! PLEASE LET ME GO WILLAM! HE'S GOING TO THINK I'M FAT AGAIN!” she noticed what she had just said and seen both Michelle and Willam look at each other shocked and worried. 

Michelle and Willam let Courtney go and she fell to her knees and seen everyone was looking at her. Michelle sat next to her and moved the girls hair from her face and hugged her. Willam was still in shock, she and all the staff knew each girls information for safety reasons so they don't give a girl something they can use to harm themselves with. But whenever she heard this kind of stuff, it hurts like when she first heard about what happened to her. 

“Let's get you to your room, sweet pea. I think you need a come down nap.” Michelle helped her up and Courtney walked with her. “Willam, stay out here please.” 

Willam nodded and went back to sitting at the bench she sat at with Adore and Courtney. She looked up to watch the girls to see if they were all having a good time. Sasha was walking towards her to find out what happened, but she already knew. The girl had one of those moments a few weeks ago.  
Michelle took Courtney to her room and sat on her bed as she watched the girl lay down and pull her blanket to her chin like she always does when she's upset. 

“Sweetie, you know he can't come see you. He's in prison. You know this. I'm sorry we held you like that, it wasn't very nice. I just wish I could make you feel better.” After she said that Courtney jumped up and hugged Michelle. 

“I know. I know. I just couldn't stop thinking of the things he’d say to me and I panicked. The girls are going to get a kick out of that, I just know it.” 

Michelle rubbed her back and held her. She started thinking of what she could do to help the girl. Then she thought of something she might enjoy. 

“Courtney, what do you think about having lunch in my office instead of outside for a few days. Would you like that?” 

Courtney looked up and smiled. She never thought that the girls could do that, or if it was against the rules. 

“I would love to Miss Visage.”  
“Call me Michelle, sweetie. It's okay.” she smiled and rubbed the girls cheek. “Do you feel like going back outside for the rest of free time or would you like a nap?” she stood up for any answer the girl would give her.  
“A nap please.” she laid back down and grabbed her blanket, but this time it wasn't pulled to her chin. 

“Okay, I'll come to check on you soon. Sleep well darling.” Michelle left her room and went to her office. She had to make a note of this. 

\---------  
Adore was still sitting at the pond feeding the fish and talking to them like she and Courtney always did. She started thinking of what her friend had said before she ran off and what she heard her scream before she was taken back inside. She felt so bad that she hadn't done anything to stop them from taking her back but she knew they wouldn't have let her go. 

“I should have just ignored the smell. Then we wouldn't have argued and she wouldn't have ran away from me.. I'm sorry it's only me talking..” she tossed the food to the fish and looked down to pick at the grass. 

She heard someone approaching her and turned to see who it was. 

“Where's Courtney? Don't you guys do this together?” Violet asked as she sat down next to her.  
“We.. We argued because I smelled mint like gum after she came back from the bathroom. I tried to talk with her and that's when we started to argue. Michelle took her away after she ran and Willam caught her and called for her to come help take Court to her office. I only seen Michelle take her. She screamed she was sorry to me but I didn't turn around.. I'm such a horrible friend.” her eyes watered but refused to let them out. 

“No you're not, Adore. I know you hate her doing that but you were just trying to help her. She'll be back soon. Don't worry.” Violet grabbed some of the fish food and tossed it to the fish.  
“That's the same thing Willam told me about Bianca. They won't be back soon. I wish everyone would stop lying to me.” Adore got up and started to walk away. 

An hour went by quickly and the girls had to meet for another group meeting. Ivy was still with Dustin but was told their session was had to end because of the meeting. They said their goodbyes and that they love each other. Dustin told her he’d be back soon and she got excited. Ivy smiled at Tatianna as they walked to the meeting room. 

“He seems sweet!” Tatianna said and smiled at Ivy.  
“Oh he is very sweet. We hardly ever had a fight, unless it was when we both would make dinner. Apparently I make corn wrong” she laughed at the thought. Tatianna joined in the laughing. 

As they got to the meeting room Tatianna said she would be back after so she could take the girl back to her room since she missed free time. Ivy didn't care about that because she got to be with her brother.  
\-----------  
“Hello girls! I know a lot has happened in these past few days, so I wanted to talk about how everyone feels towards the situations.” Sasha said while looking around at the girls and smiled at Trixie. She hasn't been to group in weeks. 

Violet raised her hand and shocked everyone. She never talks at group. 

“Go ahead Violet!” Sasha said to the girl.  
“I feel like shit. Seeing Bianca like that was truly terrifying and heartbreaking and hitting Katya for it was the worst feeling I had since… in a very long time. I wish Adore didn't have to see that. I should have told her to go back to our room.” 

“You know I wouldn't have listened..” Adore said in a soft almost whisper. Violet held the girls hand for comfort.  
“I know..” 

Sasha looked at both girls and felt a pain in her stomach for the pain the girls are going through. She felt the same way for her friend but tried to keep happy thoughts that she will be coming back soon. 

“Thank you Violet for sharing. Would anyone else like to share?” she looked around at the girls again. “Yes, Trixie would you like to share?”  
“Obviously, my hand was raised. Violet, don't ever touch Katya like that again! She did no harm to you!” she was angry that she was ready to throw her chair at the girl. 

“So you're okay with your crazy ass girlfriend to kiss other girls here? Hm? Are you really okay with that? I might as well give her the biggest kiss when she comes back from the crazy person room.” she kept her anger down and winked at Trixie.  
“DO NOT TOUCH HER!” Trixie got up and grabbed her chair. 

“TRIXIE! NO!” Sasha stood up to grab the chair from the girl.  
“Then tell that bitch to stop saying those things.” she sat back down. 

Trixie was planning on her next move already. Sasha moved to the next girl raising their hand. She was surprised by who it was. 

“Yes Jinkx!”  
“Um, is Courtney going to be okay?” they started to pick at their sweater.  
“Yes she will.” Sasha smiled and seen Jinkx did too.

After group Violet went to the bathroom for a shower. When she finished and was heading to the sinks to brush her teeth she seen that Trixie was there brushing her hair. 

“I'm sorry for what I said about Katya..” she grabbed her toothbrush and before she was able to put her toothpaste on it, she was being pushed down.  
“I have always hated you, you stupid bitch!” Trixie then began to hit the girl. 

Violet was fighting back and managed to get on top of the girl and started to hit back. She knew better than to hit her the way that she was but she was just trying to protect herself. Trixie hit Violets nose and it made the other girl stop to grab her nose and scream. Trixie then got back on top of Violet and start hitting her again and was in no way getting ready to stop. Even after Violet was unconscious. Pearl walked in and seen what Trixie was doing to Violet and yelled for Willam. She ran to the girl and tried to pull her off. Once she got her off of Violet Willam ran in and seen the bloody mess that was all over. She seen Pearl holding Trixie back and seen her knuckles both bruised and bloody.  
Willam then used her walkie to call for the guard and Sasha to call an ambulance. She didn't know what else to do. Two attacks in a short amount of time was not good at all. They only had one white room which meant that Katya would have to be released.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of; suicide

~the next day~

Katya returned back to her room late last night but wasn't told why. As she got ready for lunch she noticed Pearl wasn't in her bed but knew the girl always read before lunch time. She took off her slippers and put on her other shoes and headed for the bathroom. 

As she walked in she seen Manila and Raja mopping and cleaning the leftover blood from the floor and counter. 

 

“Did one of the girls attempt again?” she asked as she headed for a stall and locked the door. 

“Um no, not this time.” Manila answered.

“Then what happened?” Katya walked to the sink to wash her hands and noticed they were hesitating to answer. “Fine, I'll just ask someone else.” 

 

As she headed back to her room to wait for the announcement that it was time for lunch, she seen Pearl and Violet talking. She smiled at them talking and imagined that they were finally dating and how sweet it would be. Pearl had told her that she felt like her problem was finally leaving her because of her feelings for Violet. 

The girls stopped talking as Pearl looked at Katya since Violet had her back towards her. Pearl rubbed Violets shoulder and started to walk towards her looking upset and afraid. She led Katya into their room.

“Katya, I think it's best that you sit down for this..” Pearl sat on her bed once Katya sat on her own. “Do you know why you were released early?”

“Nope! But I seen Miss Manila and Raja cleaning the bathroom of some blood. Did someone attempt again?” 

“No, not this time Katya.. Violet was attacked by.. She was attacked by Trixie.” 

“What? Why? Is Violet okay?!” Katya began to panic and Pearl quickly sat next to her and helped to calm her down. 

“Vi had said some things in group that triggered Trixie. When Vi was getting ready to brush her teeth after her shower, Trixie was waiting for her and attacked her. Violet fought back because her knuckles are bruised too and Trixie had some bruises on her face as well. Trixie knocked Violet out and I walked in and seen that Trixie kept going even though Vi was already unconscious. I called for Willam and she called for the guard and told Sasha to call for an ambulance. They took her to the white room.. Vi came back early this morning and that's why you're back. I'm so sorry you had to hear this but I'd rather tell you than overhearing it from someone else.” she hugged Katya as the girl had broken down crying during Pearls explanation.

“She- she’s never hurt anyone before. Not even a slap! Why would she... Nevermind, I don't need to know what she was told.” she hugged Pearl back.

“Ladies it's-’’ Willam walked in and seen that Katya was crying into Pearl as the other girl was holding her. “Katya, I'm so sorry.” she walked over and rubbed the girls back. 

“Is it okay if we skip lunch, Will? I don't think she should be out there.” Pearl asked. 

“Yeah. I'll bring your food in so you guys can eat something instead of hearing Michelle.” she walked out to get the girls their trays. 

“Pearl? Is Violet okay? Is she mad at me too because of Trixie?” Katya asked as she wiped her cheek but didn't want to let go of the girl.

“Of course she's not mad at you, darling. It wasn't your fault.” she ran her fingers through the girls hair hoping it would soothe her.

“But you said it was something that triggered her. It had to be about me or him.”

Willam was listening by the door with the girls trays and felt terrible for Katya. She knew the reason for the attack on Violet but didn't want to tell the poor girl. She was hoping someone else, like Michelle or Sasha would tell her.

_ _

\--------

_ “Adore, lunch is ready! I made your favorite.” John said as he heard her coming to the kitchen. _

_ “Yes! You made pizza! Yours is great and all but it will never beat Pete's Pizzeria.” the girl laughed as he tossed a towel to her laughing as well.  _

__

_ The phone began to ring and he walked over to answer it. What he was told broke his heart and he began to cry. He knew she wasn't going to take it well at all since she was her best friend. He hung the phone up and turned to his sweet cousin.  _

_ “Dory, I have to tell you something.. Can you put the pizza down, please.” John sat next to her and grabbed the girls hand.  _

_ “What is it?”  _

_ “Your.. Your mom was in a car accident and she didn't make it.” he seen the look in her eyes and knew what she was about to do. She got up and threw her plate across the room. _

__

_ “NO! YOUR LYING! SHE JUST WENT TO THE STORE. HOW COULD SHE HAVE GOTTEN INTO AN ACCIDENT SO FAST?!” she slowly dropped down the wall closest to her and started to cry.  _

_ “I know, Adore. But these things can happen no matter how long someone had driven.”  _

__

_ Weeks after her mother's funeral, she began to stop talking and made her bedroom into what John called ‘her cave’. He always brought her something to eat, but she never ate. She knew if she didn't eat at all he would call someone to help him.  _

_ One day John had his friend over to hang out and she heard them talking. She knew who it was by the sound of his voice, it was her favorite guitar player Dustin. John was explaining to him what was happening to her and how he didn't know what to do and how he had found a hospital that could probably help her.  _

__

_ A few days later a doctor came to pick the girl up and take her to the hospital she worked at. _

_ “Dory, someone is here for you. To help you. Can she come in and talk with you?” John asked as he seen she was looking out her window with her back to him. She nodded yes and heard him tell the doctor to go ahead and go in.  _

__

_ As the doctor entered the girls room she walked towards the girls chair she used to play her guitar on.  _

_ Adore turned to look at the doctor and seen the most beautiful woman she had ever seen besides her mother. She noticed that the doctor was smiling at her. Even her smile was beautiful.  _

__

_ “Adore, I would like to introduce myself so you will know who I am and what I'm here for. I am Miss Bianca, I work at Visage Hospital. I'm here to examine you and ask you some questions. Is that okay?” _

_ Adore put her hand out to shake the woman's hand and when she took her hand she couldn't help but smile. Even her handshake was beautiful. She then noticed she hadn't responded to the woman's question. She nodded yes again, and smiled her shy smile that she only used when she seen cute girls but was afraid to talk to them.  _

__

_ “Perfect! Okay, I'm going to examine you now. Can you stand up please?” she asked while standing and still holding her clipboard. When the girl stood she put it down on Adores desk.  _

__

_ She checked the girls blood pressure, heartbeat, eyes, temperature, and lastly the girls arms, wrists and noticed that Adore pulled her shorts lower but not low enough that they showed her ass. This made Bianca more curious as to what the girl was hiding. _

_ “Now Adore, I'm going to examine your legs. Can you sit down please?” she seen that Adore hesitated but sat down anyway. “Perfect, thank you.”  she pulled back the girls shorts to look at her thighs. What she seen made her worried.  _

__

_ Bianca seen bruises and scratch marks that Adore had clearly done recently. She grabbed her clipboard again and wrote down all of the girls results from her exam and then made note to what she seen. She had no choice but to put it down for Sasha to decide how she would talk to the girl during her counseling sessions.  _

_ When she looked back to the girl, she seen that Adore was making a small braid in her hair. Adore looked back up to Bianca and smiled her famous shy smile again.  _

__

_ “I think it's best that you come with me. For your health. You have minutes to pack but I'm afraid you can't bring any music or your beautiful guitar.” Bianca left the room to let John know that Adore will be going with her and to sign some forms.  _

__

_ Adore left her room holding a backpack with some clothes and her favorite stuffed animal that reminded her of her mother.  _

_ After she gave John a hug goodbye she seen that Bianca was the one driving and she got to sit in the front seat. This made her heart beat faster. She was already crushing on a woman she just met.  _

_ \------- _

_ ~ _ Adores first day~

__

“Now I know first days are hard and you might feel like you'll be alone or picked on but just know that all these girls had a first day too and that they remember how nervous they felt. Do you feel nervous?” Bianca asked as she held the door open to her new room. Adore shook her head no and walked in. “Great! Your roommate is going to be Violet. You'll like her.” 

__

Adore began to unpack her things when she heard the door open again. A girl walked in and guessed it was her new roommate. 

__

“You must be Adore. I'm Violet, welcome to hell!” she sat on her bed waiting for the girl to answer. “Are you deaf or something?” 

__

Adore turned around to look at her and shook her head no. 

__

“Then you don't talk much? This will make me gushing about someone much easier because now I know you won't tell anyone!” Violet laid down and had a big smile. 

__

Adore turned back around and continued to finish unpacking. Once she was done she heard someone announce that it was time for lunch and she squeezed her eyes shut. Memories of that day hit her. 

Violet headed to the door and told the girl that she had no choice but to go to get lunch. Adore followed, keeping her eyes only on the ground or at Violet. When they got to the lunch room she seen how many girls were sitting at tables talking, laughing, and she couldn't help but hope that would be her someday. 

__

“Don't worry, they're not as scary as they look.” Violet handed Adore her tray and led her to a table that had two beautiful blonde girls. “Hey guys, this is Adore. She just arrived so be nice.”

“Hello! I'm Courtney, and this is Pearl! It's very nice to meet you. I knew I heard Mrs. Bianca talking to Sasha about someone new!” 

“Courtney, calm down. And you know you have to eat at least a little something or they'll get mad.” Violet said as she moved some food around to make it seem she had eaten something. She grabbed her fruit cup and only ate that. 

Adore felt calm that someone else did the same thing she had been doing at home, besides not eating at all. She was curious as to why Violet had said that to Courtney when she as well wasn't eating anything. 

She looked and seen that Pearl was eating but keeping her eyes on Violet when the girl wasn't looking. When Violet looked up, Pearl looked back down to her plate. 

Courtney ate a little bit off her plate then did the same as Violet with the fruit cup and drank her water. Adore couldn't help but push her tray a few inches away. 

“Don't eat much?” Courtney asked as she put her cup down. Adore gave a half smile before shaking her head no. “Well neither do we, except Pearl. She actually eats.”

“Eating is part of being human, dumbass.” Pearl said before getting up to put her tray away. 

Pearl was able to head back to her room she shared with Max. 

As she was walking to her room, she heard some yelling from Katya, Trixie, and Michelle. She couldn't help but hide behind one of the walls that lead to another hallway and still be able to see what was going on.

“KATYA WE TALKED ABOUT THIS THE LAST TIME WE CAUGHT YOU TOGETHER LIKE THIS!” Michelle yelled as she grabbed Trixie and gave her to Willam. 

Katya was crying and so was Trixie. When Pearl heard what Michelle said about them being caught last time she automatically knew what happened. This time must have been worse if they were taking Trixie from the room they shared.

Katya stopped yelling but was still crying. 

Pearl heard footsteps approaching her and turned around quickly to see if she was about to be caught. It was only the three girls she had lunch with. She explained what she heard after Katya was taken to Michelle's office and Trixie was taken to another room. 

Adore ignored what was going on and headed for her room. She was looking down as she walked until she bumped into someone. She looked up scared she would be in trouble or yelled at. She seen a tall, gray haired girl who went by the name Max. 

“I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention as well. You must be the new girl here. I'm Max, pleasure to meet you.” she bowed and it made Adore smile. 

“What might your name be?” Max asked as she helped Adore move some hair to behind the girls ear. 

“She doesn't talk, but her name is Adore.” Pearl said as she walked past them to her room. 

“Ah, I see. Maybe I could help you?” Max said until Courtney popped up. “What do you want Courtney?” the girl smiled and headed for the bathroom. 

Adore waved to Max and continued to her room. She seen Bianca come out of her office and she couldn't help but smile, except this time it wasn't her shy one. Bianca was walking up to her and Adore stopped walking to see what the woman was going to tell her. 

“Hello dear, having a good first day? Make any friends yet?” Bianca asked as she put her hands in her pockets. 

“Yes.” Adore talked for the first time in a month. It made the womans jaw drop open. 

“You talked! I got you to talk! This amazing.” She hugged Adore as she let go the girl seen that her eyes were watering. 

After she and Bianca finished their conversation, she headed for the bathroom and she heard a noise that made her gag as well. 

Courtney walked out of the stall and seen Adore standing next to the sinks. She looked nervous to her new friend and worried she’d go and tell. Until she remembered the girl didn't talk. 

“Why were you throwing up? Are you sick or make yourself?” 

“You just talked! You have a beau-”

“Answer me please.” Adore walked to Courtney.

“I… I make myself. Please don't tell! Pearl and Violet only know!” she began to cry. 

Adore pulled her in and hugged the girl. She told her friend that she wouldn't tell as long as she wouldn't do it as much. Courtney agreed but knew she was lying about it. She left to go back to her room and lay down. 

After Adore finished in the bathroom, she heard screaming coming from the room Pearl and Max shared. Pearl ran out and her hands had blood on them. She ran to Bianca's office and yelled that Max was on the ground and won't wake up. Bianca then ran to the girls room.

“How did she even get ahold of a damn knife?!” Bianca asked as she checked to see if the girl had a pulse. She didn't. 

Bianca began to cry as she took her walkie out of her pocket and called for Michelle to call for an ambulance. 

Adore was standing outside of the room watching. She couldn't believe that a girl could do that here. Bianca looked up and seen the girl and asked her to leave. 

She heard Pearl behind her. 

“She had kitchen duty. That's how she got the knife. She must have checked it out and hid it before coming back to our room. I should have been here to stop her but no, I was talking to Sasha. I failed her.” Pearl then punched the wall before fainting. 

Adore went back to her room and sat on her bed. Violet ran in crying and threw her books that were sitting on her dresser onto the floor. Max was Violets girlfriend. 

Adore couldn't believe how her first day turned out.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of; self harm/suicide attempt.  
> If you would like, you can follow both of my tumblrs:) daisy-lovely21 and dani-lovely

During free time, Adore started to look around for Jinkx. When she couldn't find them she asked Tatianna for permission to head to their room. Adore has always been her favorite so she said yes. 

Adore knocked on their door and entered. Jinkx sat up and knew what she wanted. 

 

“Are we going to practice again?” Jinkx asked while yawning. 

“Yeah, it would be a lot easier if I had my guitar. But I guess we can get it right by doing this.” 

“Okay, what part are we on now?” Jinkx looked at Adores notebook she uses when writing new songs. “Oh my god, I love this part!”

****

Adore began to sing. 

**Keep tryna dip but I'm fixed on your face** ****  
**Thirsty for you in an animal way** ****  
**How do you do what you do to me babe** **  
** **Fire, fire**

“Keep going! I already love the lyrics you wrote.”

Adore smiled and kept going.

******Woah** ****  
**You're lookin like dynamite, dynamite** ****  
**Woah** ****  
**You're lookin like dynamite, dynamite** ****  
**Dynamite** ****  
**You got me runnin' I can't catch my breath** ****  
**Watching you move got me actin' obsessed** ****  
**What's got to happen to get you undressed** **  
** **You're fire, fire**

Jinkx kept smiling and watched as the girls face lit up. Nobody gave her the appreciation of her songs except her mom. It was nice to hear it again, by someone who sings as well. 

****

“Adore, does this happen to be about a certain someone who is in the hospital getting better?” Jinkx winked. 

“Maybe…” Adore felt her cheeks getting hot and sat next to Jinkx. She knew if Courtney walked in and seen the girl on her bed, that she would get mad. 

“You know you can't write these kind of things for staff.” 

“I know.. But I can't help it. She's the only one I've ever looked at the way I do, and the feeling I get in my gut has never happened before for anyone .”

As Jinkx was comforting Adore, they heard running. Violet ran into the room and told Adore to come quickly. The three of them ran out of the room to see Miss Bianca walking to her office with help from Sasha. Adore felt her cheeks getting hot again and knew an excuse to get her in to see her. 

Violet and Jinkx watched as the girl headed to the woman's office. Sasha had already left to go to her own office. 

As Adore stood in the doorway, she seen Bianca already looking at files that needed to be finished. Her cheeks were feeling like they were getting hotter and knew this would be perfect for the woman to even touch her. 

“Don't think I don't see you, Adore. Come in and close the door.” Adore did as she was told and Bianca turned around. 

“I feel like I have a fever.” Bianca walked to the girl and felt her cheeks. Adore slightly turned her head to feel the woman's hands even more. 

“You don't have a fever, dear. You feel like you're blushing, a lot.”

“I'm glad you're back. I've missed you, alot.” Adore seen Bianca smile and knew the woman had a good heart and not a cold one like everyone else says. 

“I missed you too, Adore.” Bianca hugged the girl and she couldn't help but kiss the top of the girls head. “God I missed hugging you.”

“Nobody gives the best hugs like you do.” Adore looked up and seen how close she was to the womans face. 

“My birthday is today. I'm officially twenty now.” she smiled. “You coming back is the best present ever!” 

Bianca hadn't moved away from the girl so they were still close to each other's face and smiled. 

“Happy birthday, sweetie.” After she said this, Adore pulled her in for a kiss. Bianca didn't fight her or push away.

\--------

Since it was still free time, Jinkx went outside and seen Ivy in her normal spot. As she got closer she seen the girl making a flower crown. 

“Hey stranger.” Jinkx said as they sat down next to the girl. 

“Hey, where have you been lately?” Ivy asked while turning to put the crown on their head like Jinkx did on her first day. 

“I've just been in my room or with Sasha. Today is just when I came here since I tried to, um, you know. And it's just been bothering me, so I went to Sasha because I know thinking of it isn't good. I'm sorry for not letting you know about my sessions with her.” Jinkx said as they fixed the crown on their head to fit better and not fall off. 

“It's okay, just been missing our talks.” Ivy hugged Jinkx.

\-------

_ “Hey Jinkx, how was school?” their mom asked while making her coffee. _

_ “The same as usual. They were calling me a freak, you know, all the ones they usually call me.” Jinkx headed for their room before their mom could respond but knew it hurt her feelings.  _

_ Jinkx sat at their desk and started to look over the homework they had to do in numerous classes.  _

_ They put their pen down and opened the drawer that was on the right side of them and grabbed what looked like a stack of books but it had a secret hiding place. Jinkx opened it and took out a razor blade.  _

_ They wrote a small note for their mom apologizing for being the way they were and how she wanted a son more than anything.  _

**_Mom, I know I have caused you a lot of pain and confusion for what I am. I know you accepted me when I told you, but I noticed you still look at me differently. I know you've always wanted a son and I know after telling you, it broke your heart. So now I'm going to take that pain away from you and do the only thing that will be best for the both of us instead of just running away._ **

**_I have told you that I had stopped doing this since the last time you seen the cuts on my thighs. But this time, it won't be on my thighs. It'll be the one place I know that will do the job. Love always,_ ** **_Jinkx._ **

_ After they had slit both wrists they laid on their bed and waited to finally leave the world.  _

_ They woke up to the sound of beeping and seen that they were in a hospital and their wrists had bandages on them. Their mom walked in followed by a doctor.  _

****

_ “They are going to send you to a special hospital that's about two hours from here. I'm so sorry, Jinkx.” their mom began to cry and walked out of the room.  _

****

_ A few days later two women by the names of Michelle and Sasha walked into the room they were in and told them that they were going with them. As Jinkx agreed to go with them, they were shocked just a bit. Most girls always fought to leave with them, and very rare when some didn't.  _

****

_ “I'm ready.” Jinkx said as they headed towards the women already holding their suitcase.  _

****

_ As they arrived at the hospital, Jinkx was shocked at how beautiful the outside looked and wondered if the inside was just as nice.  _

****

_ “Now Jinkx, you have nothing to worry about. This is an all girl hospital.” Michelle said as they all headed for the door.  _

_ “Technically I'm a boy.” Jinkx said looking down.  _

_ “On the paperwork you put that you're a girl but also wrote in the notes section that you're transgender. We don't discriminate against that my dear.” Sasha said while smiling at them.  _

_ They talked about what pronouns they wanted everyone to use so they felt more comfortable. Jinkx loved how accepting they were towards them and how they wished their mom was the same way.  _

_ \----- _

~Jinkx first day~

Sasha escorted them to their room and Jinkx seen a girl sitting on her bed reading a book. She put it down and stood up to introduce herself. 

__

“Hi I'm Courtney!” She put her hand out and Jinkx shook it. 

“I'm Jinkx. Nice to meet you.” Jinkx walked over to their bed and put their bag down. 

“Is she my new roommate?” Courtney asked Sasha. 

__

“Yes they are. Now, can you-” 

“Wait, did you say they?” Courtney asked confused. 

“Yes. That's the pronouns they would like everyone to use. Now, can you help them unpack and help them get comfortable please. Lunch is in five.” Sasha walked out and headed for her office.

“Are, are you transgender?” Courtney asked while helping put Jinkx stuff away. 

“Yeah.. Is that okay? I can ask for a different room if it is.” Jinkx said nervously. They seen the girl was smiling. 

“Not at all. My old roommate was too. Except they got released because they got better. You would have liked Aja. They were really sweet.” 

As they finished putting Jinkx stuff away, they heard it was time for lunch. Courtney held their hand so they would feel a bit more comfortable as she seen they looked a little nervous. 

When they both got their lunch trays, the girl led them to an empty table so Courtney could learn more about them. 

She asked what Jinkx found to be their favorite hobby, what made them happy, what their favorite food was. The usual things. 

As they were talking, Pearl walked up and sat next to Courtney. 

“I see we have a new person, my name is Pearl. And yours?”

“Jinkx. You have a pretty name.” they smiled. 

“Eh, except for when jokes are made. The one I always get is, ‘mother of Pearl!’ I just ignore them now.” she took a bite of her food and noticed Courtney wasn't eating and if she did they were small bites.

“So girl, how did you end up in here?” Pearl asked as she put her hair into a bun. 

“Oh um, can you use they/them pronouns please.. And I'd rather not talk about it right now.” Jinkx looked down and started to pick at their sweater.

“Of course! Wait, are you transgender?” Pearl asked while smiling. 

“Yes..” Jinkx continued to pick at their sweater.

“Oh my god! That's beautiful. At home, my best friend was too!” Pearl smiled again.

“So, you're okay with that then?” they looked up and seen the girls big smile. 

“Yes! I love it actually. I'll protect you from any harm these girls might try to do. Don't worry.” 

Willam announced that it was the end of lunch and it was free time.

~present day~

Courtney walked over to the pond and joined Adore. She noticed Adore only waved hi instead of talking. 

“Oh no.. Are you okay Dory?” she asked while sitting closer to her friend. She seen the girl was crying. “You missing her again?” 

Adore gave her a no shit look. 

“Do you want me to take you to Sasha or Bianca?” she asked while standing up. Adore nodded and grabbed her friends hand. 

“Sasha?” Adore shook her head. “Bianca?” Adore nodded. “I should have known. Come on.” 

Courtney held Adores hand as they headed for the woman's office. Once they got to it, they seen she was busy and had two other girls waiting. They had no choice then going to Sasha. Once they got to the office, she told Sasha what was going on. She helped her friend sit into one of the chairs. 

Before she left the room she hugged her friend and whispered happy birthday into her ear. This made Adore smile a little. At least someone else remembered besides Bianca. 

“Happy birthday! Don't worry, I remember. I also have a present for you.” Sasha smiled and got up to head to her closet. She pulled out the girls guitar that had a bow stuck to the top. 

“I've had this put away since you got here and was waiting to give it to you until today. You're twenty now, I think you deserve this more than anything.” she went to Adore and gave the girl her gift.

It was the same one she had at home that she had to leave before coming here. Sasha had it this whole time. She began to cry, and hugged it. It was the one her mother got her when she was fourteen and was started singing more. It always reminded her of the woman she lost. 

“Thank you so much Sasha. I.. I missed this.” Adore stood up and hugged her. 

“I know you have. I wanted to give it to you sooner but I was told not to until this day.” Sasha hugged the girl and rubbed her back. “Could you play for me?” she went back to her chair and watched the girl sit down. 

Adore began to play and sing the song Bianca and her mother loved. Sasha recognized it because she heard Bianca talk about it and it was the song she sang to her that got the woman to wake up the night Katya attacked her. It brought Sasha to tears.

\--------

As Jinkx and Ivy were still talking and making each other things out of the flowers, Pearl walked up to them. 

“Hey Jinkxy, hi Ivy. Could I join?” she asked quietly. 

“Of course you can.” Ivy smiled. 

“Are you two making crowns? I would like to make one too!” Pearl grabbed the flowers she knew she needed to complete it. 

“Jinkx, you were right. I am getting better, and you were also right about my feelings for her.” 

“I'm always right, nerd.” Jinkx smiled. “I'm happy for you. You should tell her, or Sasha first.” Jinkx finished their crown and set it on Pearl to see if it fit their friend. “Oh! And you're in second place now. Miss Ivy here took over your spot of first place.”

“What? No! Damn it, I knew that was going to happen anyways.” Pearl laughed and tossed a flower to both of them. “I love ya, Jinkxy.”

“I love you too, girly.” Jinkx hugged her.

Ivy smiled at the both of them and loved how amazing their friendship is. 

Violet ran up and was clearly pissed. 

“Are you serious Pearl?!” she pushed her down and walked away. 

“Wait! Violet!” Pearl got up and ran to her.

Violet turned around and punched her in the nose.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, leaving comments and kudos! I really appreciate it! Like I said before, you can follow the blog I use on tumblr for the fic daisy-lovely21 and my main dani-lovely :) love you all!

Violet went into the bathroom and hid from Pearl in a stall knowing she won't find her. 

Pearl stopped following her once she got inside and headed towards Bianca’s office. She seen the door was closed and knew she only closed it when she wasn't in there or busy with one of the girls. She stood on her toes to look into the small window on the door to check which one it was. She was busy with one of the girls alright. 

 

Pearl walked away and couldn't believe what she just seen. She just grabbed a tissue from one of the counters and went to her room. 

Katya was there laying down and softly singing one of Trixie’s songs. 

 

“Hey Katya, how are you doing?” Pearl asked as she sat at the foot of the girls bed. 

“I'm okay.. Just missing her.” she sat up to look at Pearl. “What happened?” 

 

“Violet. She seen me talking with Jinkx and I guess it pissed her off so bad that she came over and yelled at me then when I ran after her, she turned around, hit me, and took off. I stopped following her and headed for Bianca but she was busy with Adore.” 

 

Katya had a feeling there was more that Pearl wasn't telling her but ignored it with giving her a hug.

\---------

Adore pulled Bianca even closer to try and wrap her legs around her. She began to remove the woman's jacket but Bianca stopped her. 

Bianca looked at Adore and sighed. 

“I can't do this. I can get fired and we both can get into a shit load of trouble. I'm sorry, but this has to stop.” she let go of the girl and felt Adore slowly moving her legs off of Bianca. 

She looked back at Adore and seen she was looking shocked until the girl looked down and started crying into her hands. Bianca tried to calm the girl down but she just pushed her away and jumped off the bed then headed for the door. Before she opened it, she turned to look at Bianca and seen the woman didn't even look upset or anything. 

“I take it back. Your return wasn't the best present.” this made the woman gasp. “You know, I loved you. But now I can see it was just one sided and I was an idiot to fall in love with you.” she walked out and slammed the door shut. It felt like a really horrible breakup.

Pearl and Katya heard a door slam and checked to see what was going on. They seen Adore standing next to Bianca’s office with tears running down the girls face. Adore looked to see they were watching and headed for them. 

Katya had her sit in the middle of her bed so she and Pearl could sit on each side of her. Adore told them everything.

\-------

Jinkx and Ivy were still sitting in their usual spot talking about how Ivy still hasn't gotten a roommate and how she was a bit happy about it because it gave her a bigger chance to think of many things. 

When Willam announced free time was over, they headed for the room group was held and seen a note was posted on the door saying that group was cancelled for the day. This made both of them happy since the last few sessions have been a bit depressing. 

Ivy walked with Jinkx to their room and heard Tatianna talking to someone in her room. She gave them a hug and headed towards her room. 

“I know you wanted your own room but I'm afraid there are no rooms available right now. Deal with it.” She seen Ivy approaching and waited until the girl got closer. “Ivy, Trixie will be your roommate for now.” Tatianna walked away clearly irritated. 

“I'm so glad your back!” Ivy said as she sat on her bed, pulling her hair into a ponytail. “We missed you.” 

“I doubt that. But thanks. How is Violet’s face?” Trixie asked while putting her stuff in her dresser. 

“Um, I've only seen it like once and that was today. She looked like some of her bruises are going away. Her lip is still busted though. How's your hands?” 

“Broke my finger again. But the bruises went away. I feel like shit doing that to her. It felt like I just couldn't control myself and wouldn't be able to stop if it wasn't for Pearl coming in and pulling me off of her.” she sat on her bed and looked at Ivy. “Am I turning into him?” 

“I think you should talk to Sasha about this. I don't know your history on why you're here, so I don't know how to answer that. I'm sorry.” Ivy got up and hugged her. She watched Trixie walk out and towards Sasha’s office. 

She walked past Pearl and Katya’s room but seen the door was closed. She continued her walk to Sasha.

\--------

Later that night, Bianca was getting the meds ready for her rounds. She heard a knock on her door and seen a note slide under the door and someone running away. When she grabbed the note, she looked out her door to see if anyone was watching her but didn't see anyone. 

She put the note in her back pocket and began her rounds. After she finished, she went back to her office and sat down remembering the note in her pocket. She took it out, unfolded it and began to read what it said. 

**_I know about you and the girl. I'd be careful if I were you._ **

She sat in fear wondering who this might be. The handwriting didn't look like Adore’s at all. Someone must have seen what happened earlier and is now messing with her. 

\------

~next day~

Jinkx woke up to Courtney singing. They liked what she was saying so they didn't move to make it seem like they were still sleeping so she wouldn't stop. 

Courtney kept singing while sketching some outfits she couldn't wait to make when she was finally out of here. 

A few doors down, Trixie was waiting for Ivy to wake up so she could walk with her in case someone tried to fight her. When Ivy woke up, the girl asked her and she happily agreed. 

As they headed for breakfast, Trixie seen Violet waiting in front of them to get her tray. She was happy the girl didn't notice them, but that was cut short. 

“Oh, you're back.” Violet then walked away. Trixie seen her face and couldn't believe what she had done. 

“It'll be okay, Trix. She doesn't stay mad for long. Hell, yesterday she punched Pearl in the nose just for talking to Jinkx.” Ivy said while grabbing her tray.

“But Pearl didn't do that to her. I did. There's a difference, Ivy.”

\-----

Pearl and Katya were sitting at a corner table with Adore, who was still upset and refusing to eat. The girls were trying to get her to at least a little something so she wouldn't get in trouble. 

“Come on Dory. You need something in your cute stomach or you'll end up getting the tube again.” Katya said while rubbing the girls back. Adore just shrugged her shoulders and shook her head no.

“Could you take a few bites, for Katya and I? Please.” Pearl seen Adore grab her fork and started to take a few bites that were bigger so it’d be noticeable to the staff. “Thank you, my favorite mermaid.” 

After lunch, the three girls sat in front of the pond feeding the fish. 

“Excuse me girls, but I have a request to bring Adore to one of the office's. I'm sorry, hopefully it won't be too long so she could come back and join you.” Tatianna smiled and led Adore inside. 

“You don't think it was her requesting for Adore, do you?” Katya asked looking at Pearl. 

“I really hope not. That's the last person she should be around right now.” 

As Tatianna and Adore walked in and headed for the office, she noticed who requested her. She tried to stop and go in a different direction but Tatianna stopped her. 

“You have to go in, Adore. Or you'll leave me no choice to report you and you know I'd hate to do that to you.” Adore listened and continued for the office.

“Thank you Tatianna. I got it from here. Please close the door on your way out.” Bianca said as she sat down. “Sit down. Now.”

Adore did but looked down at her sweater that she began to pick at like Jinkx does. 

“Look at me. Now Adore!” Bianca was clearly pissed at the girl. “Who the hell wrote this! Did you tell anyone? Tell me now!” she slammed the note next to the girl. 

As Adore read what it said. She knew it wasn't Pearl or Katya because the handwriting was not like the girls. 

Adore looked back up, handing the note to Bianca and shrugged her shoulders. She really didn't know who could have written it but was nervous someone clearly watched them. Adore then looked back down.

Bianca stood up and walked over to the girl. She lifted Adore's face so she was looking at the woman. She rubbed the girls cheek and got close to the girls face, licked Adore's lips like she did to her before they kissed the day before. Except this time she wasn't going to kiss her, she only used that as a distraction. She then leaned back and slapped the girl. 

Adore held her cheek and got up to leave. Bianca stopped her by grabbing her arm and pulled her back. 

“No, you're not going anywhere until you tell me who wrote this.” 

The girl was still holding her cheek while looking down. 

“Did. You. Tell. Someone?” Bianca got closer and Adore looked up to her and nodded. “Who!”

Since Adore was back to not talking, Bianca handed her the notepad she used to write down what symptoms the girls said they have when sick. 

_ Pearl and Katya. But I was with them all night. Not them. _

She gave back the notepad and put her hand back to her cheek. Tears swelling in her eyes. 

The two didn't notice that they were being watched through the small window on the door. This made it harder for them to keep it quiet and private. 

Bianca finally let Adore leave but was still showing how pissed she was. 

\-------

Ivy and Jinkx couldn't believe what they seen and heard. When Adore walked out, still holding her cheek and closed the door, the two of them came up to her. 

“We seen and heard everything that just happened. Are you okay?” Ivy asked as she hugged the girl.

Jinkx led them to their room and closed the door. They grabbed the notepad Adore uses when she comes in to talk to them. They gave it to her so she can write down everything. 

She told them how she told Pearl and Katya last night what happened with Bianca and what the woman told her and how it broke her heart. 

Jinkx ended up making a fist and was ready to punch something because of how pissed off they were. 

Payback's a bitch. 


	10. Chapter 10

Courtney left Michelle's office after finishing her lunch and went back to her room. When she seen the three of them sitting on Jinkx’s bed and how pissed they were, she got worried. 

The two stopped talking and Adore held the notepad closer so Courtney couldn't read anything. This made the girl worry more. 

 

“Oh my god, what's wrong?” Courtney asked as she sat on her bed. “Adore, why do you have a handprint on your cheek? Are you okay?” the girl looked at Jinkx and wrote to tell her. 

 

Jinkx explained everything to her and Courtney couldn't help but hand her favorite teddy to Adore. She knew the girl has always loved it since they first met. Adore got up and gave her a hug, then she hugged the bear. 

Ivy looked down to see what the girl was writing and wasn't really surprised at what she wrote. 

 

_ I still want to be with her.. I know this will all blow away after she calms down. I love her. I just wish she loved me. _

She handed the notepad to Ivy so she could read it to the other two. They all knew how strongly she felt for the woman. 

Courtney thought it was adorable, especially when she seen how Adore lit up a room and smiled so big whenever she’d see the woman enter a room they were in or when she’d walk past them. She thought the woman felt something for the girl because of how she’d smile too. 

__

Jinkx still had their fist digging into their bed so they wouldn't hit anything or go hit Bianca for hurting their friend by breaking her heart and hitting her. 

Ivy noticed and reached her arm behind Adore and started to rub their back to calm them down. She put the notepad down and used her other hand to rub Adore’s arm. 

__

“Should we tell Michelle? Just about how she hit Adore.” Courtney asked. Adore looked up quickly and shook her head no. “Adore, she can't get away with hurting you. If Michelle had seen your face after coming out of Bianca’s office, she would have asked what happened anyway.”

“I don't think that's a good idea, at least for now. It could put Adore into a panic attack and that's the last thing she needs at this time.” Ivy said while moving her hands back into her lap. 

“But Bianca hurt her, look at her face. What if it leaves a bruise or something. She'll be asked what happened and who hit her.” Courtney asked while standing up. 

“I think, after med rounds we should all come back in here and have like a slumber party. Just without the party.” Jinkx said after finally putting their fist back into an open hand. 

“I love that idea!” Ivy said while raising both hands in excitement. “But wait, Trixie is my new roommate, what if she tells.” 

“She won't. She used to do it with Katya. But if you do it while she's asleep, it'll be easier. You do wake up early so she’d just think you're in the bathroom or something.” Jinkx said. 

_ My room is right across her office, what if she sees me? And what about Vi? _

“What about Vi, she always sneaks out.” Courtney said as she put her hair up. “I think we should write this plan down so we don't have to figure it out later.” 

__

“That would be better. What exactly are we planning though?” Ivy asked.

“Who sleeps in whose bed. And when you guys should sneak out and come here. Dory, can I see the pad please?” 

__

Adore handed Courtney the notepad and started to play with the bears ears. 

__

“I think 5 minutes after med rounds, this way we'll know she's back in her office.” Ivy said. 

“That's good. Okay now, I think Adore should sleep with me and you sleep with Jinkx. That okay?” she asked while writing everything down. 

__

Adore nodded and Ivy blushed a little and nodded as well. Jinkx just smiled. Courtney knew Jinkx had some sort of feelings for the girl but seeing how they smiled and how the girl blushed, she knew she was right this time. 

They had their plans figured out and when Courtney handed back the pad back to Adore, the girl noticed the handwriting was similar to the note and she looked up to the girl. 

__

_ Courtney, did you write that note? _

“No, I didn't even know about any of this until you all told me. I wouldn't do that to cause you any pain.” 

__

Adore then remembered how she recognized the writing, Courtney used to write notes to the girl when she would gush about Aja. 

__

\---------

Violet walked down the hall to her room picking at her nail polish until she bumped into Pearl. 

__

“Shit, I'm sorry.” Pearl said as she closed the door to her room. 

“It's okay. I'm sorry about hitting you.. I just got jealous and my mood ended up changing so quickly. I really didn't mean to hurt you.” Violet looked upset and it was the first time Pearl had seen it. 

__

“It's totally fine. I know you hate them, but they are my friend. I shouldn't have to stop because it upsets you. But I also don't want to lose you as a friend either. Also, why did it make you jealous?” 

“You won't lose me, and I don't hate them.. It just makes me jealous that they are so close with you and I'm like not as close to you.” Violet looked down.

“Hey, we are close. It may seem like we're closer, but it's only because they know something I'm not really sure I should let anyone else know. And that's why you're jealous?” Pearl lifted Violet’s head so she was looking back at her. 

“Why can't I know what it is? Shouldn't best friends know these kind of things? No, that's not why I was jealous.. Can we continue this talk in my room, I really don't want any of the girls being nosey.” 

“Of course, let's go.” 

They walked to Violet's room without saying anything. As they walked in she noticed Adore wasn't in the room like she usually was at this time.

“Hm, guess she's with Court or something.” she closed the door so they had more privacy. They both sat on her bed so they can talk more. 

“Vi, I think I'm ready to let you know what Jinkx knows..” Pearl said as her voice had a little shake to it by how nervous they were. 

“Okay, I'm ready when you are.” Violet said smiling.

“I talked to Sasha about this and she thinks I should let it out instead of keeping it all to myself.” she said while looking at Violet. 

“Okay, but you're making me a bit nervous at what it might be if you had to talk about it with Sasha and Jinkx. But take your time Pearly.”

“I think. I think my problem is finally leaving me.” she looked down at her hands. 

“That's great! How come you think that though?” Violet said while hugging the girl. 

“Because of, because of this.” she grabbed Violet and kissed her. 

Violet kissed back and started to climb on top of Pearl which made the girl lay down. They didn't stop kissing. Both girls had wanted this for a very long time. 

Pearl pulled Violet’s legs on each side of her and started to run her fingers up and down the girls back. This made Violet start to kiss down her face to her neck, then up to the girls ear and bite it softly. 

\-------

Katya walked to the bathroom and as she walked past Violet’s room, she heard a noise she didn't expect to hear. Then she realized she hadn't seen Pearl or Violet after their talk in the hallway. She knew what was going on and smiled as she continued her walk. 

As she walked in to the bathroom, Trixie was brushing her hair. She ran to her and hugged her before the girl could turn to hug her correctly. 

“Katya! I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have been so mean to you. I've missed you so damn much.” she pulled her in for a kiss. 

“It's fine! I deserved it after everything I did. Trix, can you tell me why you had to go to the white room? Pearl told me what happened but not why you had to go.” she moved some hair from Trixie’s face.

“I beat the shit out of Violet.. She said something messed up about you and I was already upset about you so what she said pissed me off to no end. I fucked her up so much, and if it wasn't for Pearl coming in and pulling me off of her, I probably would have killed her. Hell I thought I did after seeing her just laying there, unconscious. But I just couldn't stop hitting her.” Trixie began crying at the thought. 

Katya rubbed the girls cheek and hugged her again. 

“She'll forgive you soon, you know how quick she forgives someone. Remember when Aja beat her ass? By a week later they were all goody goody with each other.” she rubbed her back hoping it would calm her down. It worked. 

“God I've missed you and your therapist talks.” Trixie laughed and held Katya’s hand so they could leave the bathroom. 

“Wait, I gotta pee!” Katya ran to the closest stall and did what she needed to do. 

After Katya was done, they walked outside for the rest of free time. 

When Katya didn't see Pearl or Violet outside, she knew what she heard was them. She smiled at the thought again and thought about Pearl finally coming out about her feelings for Violet. 

She cuddled up to Trixie by the pond and they watched the fish swimming around. 

After free time, Katya went back to the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she headed back, she seen the two girls leaving Violet’s room smiling and Pearl wiping her bottom lip. 

“You guys should be more quieter next time.” She said and winked at the girls. This made them laugh.

Violet headed for Courtney’s room and Pearl headed for the bathroom. When she walked in, she seen Katya start to smile again. 

“So, you must be a top then.” she said while laughing a little bit. 

“No, but I was this time. I couldn't say no to being a seat for her.” Pearl said while washing her hands and wiping her mouth. She looked up to Katya and winked. 

“I fucking knew there was something between you guys. I'm happy you guys are finally together.” 

“We're not together, at least not yet. I just told her how I feel like my problem is finally leaving me and then kissed her.” Pearl dried her hands. 

“Well that's something! You guys hit first base and third. Right on!” Katya started to head for the exit and gave Pearl a thumbs up. 

\------

~later that night~

Bianca was close to finishing med rounds, and the girls were preparing the plan they created. Once she finished her rounds, she went into her office and shut the door. She was so tired she didn't even want to move from her chair.

The girls waited until they were sure nobody would see them. 

As Ivy was sneaking to her door she heard Trixie start to move. 

“Where you going, love problems?” Trixie asked while adjusting her pillow. 

“Yeah, something like that. Please don't rat me out.” Ivy said nervously. 

“Don't worry, you don't think I've never done that for Katya? I won't tell. Now go have fun.” 

Adore walked to her door and seen Violet was passed out and she walked out of her room. 

She seen Ivy was closing her door at the same time she was and quickly walked to the girl. They made sure to keep their footsteps quiet but also walked fast to reach the others room. 

They finally reached the room and walked in. Adore shut the door as quietly as she possibly could. 

“Thank god, we thought you guys forgot.” Jinkx whispered as they made room for Ivy to lay down.

“Come on Dory, it's okay. We're here to comfort you. We love you. Now get some sleep.” Courtney said as Adore laid next to her. 

Ivy had her back to Jinkx and felt them wrap their arm around her waist. 

“Is that okay?” Jinkx whispered to Ivy.

“Perfect.” Ivy grabbed their hand and held it without moving their hand off of her waist. 

They all thought it was the best thing they could think of.

\------

As Bianca woke up from her small nap, she noticed another note on the floor not so far from the door. 

**If you want to keep your job, I suggest not to do anything stupid. Hit her again and you'll be out of a job.**

She dropped the note and sat down, scared shitless. Someone knew. Someone has been watching them. But who could it be, she knew it wasn't Adore so who else would be doing this. 

Bianca went to Sasha’s office knowing that the woman would probably be in her room sleeping already but noticed under the woman's door, her light was still on. 

“Hey Sasha, sorry to bug you so late. Are you doing group tomorrow by chance?” Bianca asked while sitting in one of the chairs. 

“Yes. Why do you ask?” 

“Could you have the girls fill out one of the questionnaires so I can see if I need to lower or raise any of their meds. I'd ask them myself but there is a lot of girls and I would end up forgetting or mixing up the notes.”

“Of course, no problem at all. I'll print them out now so I don't forget in the morning.” Sasha said while yawning. 

“Thank you Sasha. See you tomorrow, goodnight.” Bianca said while leaving the woman's office. 

When she went back to her office she seen another note on the floor. 

**Oh Bianca, do you really think you'll find out who I am? Good luck sweetie. ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I added a new tag because there is going to be a few sexual parts.   
> I hope you enjoy!

Adore was the first to wake up so she just laid next to Courtney making a small braid in her own hair where it was still blue. She heard some movement from Jinkx’ bed but didn't want to look like she was watching them so she just continued her braid. 

After a few minutes passed, Trixie quickly walked in and woke the group up. Very scared and nervous. 

 

“You guys, wake up! I heard Bianca outside of my room and they're going to do a bed check! Ivy, Adore, get back to your rooms. Now!” Trixie whispered loud enough for the two to hear. 

 

Both girls quickly got up and followed Trixie. Since Adore’s room was next to their room she just went with them. 

As Adore waved bye to them, she quickly went to her room door until she heard someone talking to her. 

 

“So, where were you all night? Adore, answer me.” Bianca said but with no anger in her voice. 

Adore turned around slowly still very scared Bianca was going to yell at her. 

 

“Get in my office so we can talk.” Bianca turned back into her office and Adore walked slowly to her. “Why do you look like you're in a horror movie waiting to see if the killer was near you?” Bianca laughed. 

 

Adore looked up to her and Bianca realized she was scared of her. Like she was the killer in a horror movie. Bianca’s heart dropped with the thought that she's made the girl scared of her. 

Bianca sat in her chair and had Adore sit on the bed like she usually did when they’d talk. Adore looked down at her hands, too nervous to look at the woman in front of her.

“I'm not going to hurt you.” Bianca went to put her hand on the girls knee but put her hand back when Adore moved away. “I'm so sorry I hit you, and yelled at you like that..”

Adore shook her head no and looked towards the door hoping Michelle or Sasha would walk in to save her from being in the same room as Bianca. She had no luck. 

Bianca handed her the notepad she usually gave the girl when Adore wouldn't talk. This made the girl look up confused. The woman wanted her to talk, but she didn't want too. 

_ I don't want to talk to you. I want to go to my room. Away from you.  _

She handed Bianca the pad back and went to get up and walk out, until the woman started talking. 

“Please don't leave. I truly am sorry Adore. I never meant to hurt you like this. I.. I love you.” Adore reached for the pad again. 

_ Should have thought about that. _

Adore threw the pad back to Bianca and walked away. Instead of walking out crying, she walked out smiling but still pissed. 

Violet walked out of their room and seen the girl, even though the girl was smiling she still knew something was wrong. 

“Adore? You okay?” Violet walked up to her and rubbed the girls shoulder. Adore nodded and headed for their room.

Katya walked by quickly heading back to her room but stopped when she seen Violet. 

“They're doing bed check!” Katya ran back to her room and so did Violet. 

Bianca and Sasha were the ones doing bed check since Michelle wasn't in. 

The first room they checked was Katya and Pearl. 

When they finished with their room, Katya breathed out and looked at Pearl. 

“You're lucky they didn't find your stash.” Pearl said grabbing her book. 

\----- 

~later that day~

When it was finally lunch time, the regular group sat together. Pearl, Violet, Courtney, and Adore. Violet looked around like she was seeing if anyone was watching them until she seen who she was looking for. 

“JINKX! IVY!” Violet yelled for them. They were sitting in their normal place, next to the flowers. So she walked to them. 

The two looked up towards Violet. 

“Come join us.” she smiled. 

“Wait, are you serious?” Jinkx asked. 

“Yes. Do I look like I'm not?” Violet said while rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Yes. And you never talk to me unless you're making fun of me or yelling at me.” Jinkx said.

“Consider this a chance for forgiveness.” 

Ivy looked at Jinkx and seen they were nervous but watched as they stood up grabbing their tray. When she looked back at Violet she seen the girl already had her hand out so Ivy can grab it and be helped up. Ivy took her hand and when Violet let go she picked up the girls tray and handed it back to her. 

Violet smiled and was happy that Jinkx was actually trying to give her a chance. When they got back to the table, she patted the space next to her for the both of them to sit. Jinkx had Ivy sit next to her in case she was planning anything that would hurt them. 

Pearl was happy that Violet was giving Jinkx a chance at becoming friends.

“Adore, are you okay? You kinda have a bruise near your eye. I don't think I noticed it this morning.” Violet asked as she picked at her food. 

Adore grabbed her notepad from her sweater pocket and began to write. 

_ Just wasn't paying attention and ran into something. No worries.  _

“Were you having it checked? Is that why I seen you walking out of Bianca's office?” Violet asked. 

The rest of the group looked at Adore giving her a look of ‘what the hell’ making the girl even more nervous. 

_ No, she just asked me a question. _

“Must have been something good if you came out of her office with a smile on your face.” Violet got up and walked to put her tray away. 

“Adore, what the fuck were you doing in her office?” Jinkx asked. 

_ After I left your room she stopped me asking where I was all night. When she had me sit down, she apologized for hitting and being so mean to me. But I basically told her to fuck off by writing ‘should have thought about that’ and I walked out smiling feeling like I finally stood up to her.  _

She handed the pad to Courtney so she can read it to the rest of the group. 

“Wow. That was very brave of you to do. You know if one of us were with you, we wouldn't have let you follow her at all.” Ivy said. 

Pearl looked to see where Violet was since it was taking her awhile from putting her tray away. When she looked around she seen something that both made her angry and upset. 

Jinkx noticed Pearls emotion and followed where she was looking. What they seen made them mad as well. 

Pearl slammed her fork onto the table and looked down as she started crying, making the other girls jump. Courtney seen Jinkx was staring at something and looked in the same direction. 

Violet was kissing Willam in a corner next to a big bush, where most of the other girls in the hospital or the security cameras wouldn't see, but it was perfectly clear where the group was sitting. Pearl felt like she planned it instead of it being an accident or whatever excuse Violet would tell her from getting Pearl upset.

Katya and Trixie walked over to the group and sat with them to ask Ivy and Adore how their night went. Trixie and Violet must have told her about them sneaking out. 

When they sat down, they noticed a few were looking in a different direction and didn't notice that they even sat down. Trixie seen Pearl crying and instantly started to rub the girls back.

“Pearl, what's wrong?” Trixie asked calmly. Pearl looked up and used her napkin to wipe the tears from her eyes. 

“Do you feel like beating Violet's ass again?” 

“What? No. Why would, why would you ask me th-” she was cut off.

“Because of that.” Pearl pointed in the direction of where the kiss was getting more and more intimate.

“Oh my god, what the fuck is going on?” Trixie asked. 

“What does it look like, Trix!” Katya said as she kept staring at what was happening. 

“I have an idea.” Ivy whispered to Jinkx. 

“What is it?” 

“I know it's not something to joke about but, you can act like your narcolepsy kicked in and need Willam to help.”

“I don't see how that would help this situation.” Jinkx said while scratching a small point on their head looking confused. 

“Just watch. Now, pretend like it kicked in.”

Ivy got up and headed towards Violet and Willam. As she got closer, she seen and heard everything that was happening, she really wished she hadn't.

Willam had one hand inside of Violet's pants and the other hand wrapped in the girls hair. Both girls were moaning into each other. 

Ivy felt very uncomfortable, but knew she had a job to finish. 

“Excuse me, Willam but you need to help someone.” Ivy said after clapping her hands together. Both girls jumped. 

“What the hell, Ivy!” Violet yelled. 

“Sorry for interrupting this um, moment, but Willam is needed more than having her hand down your pants.” Ivy smiled. 

“What did you see?” Willam asked looking around.

“All of it. Especially Pearl. Now, I suggest you get your hand cleaned up and help Jinkx. Look.” she pointed over to the table and seen Pearl was looking, she was crying again. 

“If you don't want me to tell, I suggest you go. Now.” Ivy smiled again knowing Willam would do anything so she won't get in trouble and lose her job.

Willam quickly walked over to Jinkx, cleaning her hand with a wipe she's supposed to carry around just in case. As she was helping Jinkx, Ivy and Violet began talking. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ivy asked Violet.

“What? There's nothing wrong with it. Why do you care so much?” 

“Because you broke Pearls heart. You're a bitch for doing that to her. You had sex with her then the next day, you decide to do this to her?”

“You don't know shit, Ivy. I'm tired of you acting so damn innocent all the time, but I know what kind of girl you are. You're leading Jinkx on and that's messed up. Plus, it's not like Pearl actually gives a shit about what I did.” Violet smiled.

“Really? Look!” Ivy pointed to where the group was. Pearl looked back at Violet and Ivy, and she seen Violet was looking at her and smirking. 

Pearl got up and headed towards the two girls. Looking even more upset. 

~ _ Willam and Violet~ _

_ Violet put her tray away and seen Willam was behind the bush she always hid behind when she needed a smoke.  _

_ “Oooh, you're not supposed to be doing that.” Violet said as she began to laugh. _

_ “Oh well. Sometimes it's needed with everything here.”  _

_ Violet walked up to her and took the cigarette from the girls hand and stole a smoke before throwing it on the ground and stepping on it.  _

_ “Violet, what the hell man.” Willam said while leaning against the wall. “Is anyone around?” _

_ Violet looked around then shook her head no. After she did that, Willam pulled her closer.  _

_ “Good. I missed you. Did you get Pearl off your ass?” Willam said pulling the girl closer and started to kiss her.  _

_ “I'd say we both got each other off, but yeah. She won't be bothering me anymore. Now that she's been with a girl, she'll be trying with everyone now.” Violet said smirking.  _

_ Shortly after, Violet grabbed Willams hand and started to put it on the waistband of her shorts. She knew Willam wouldn't be able to resist, and she was right.  _

_ Willam lowered her hand into the girls shorts and didn't stop, causing Violet to heavy breathe and moan.  _

_ “Shh, you can't be so loud or we'll get caught. I can try and get you into my room tonight baby.” Willam whispered to Violet before continuing their kiss.  _

_ Violet heard someone approaching but didn't care to stop and tell Willam. She opened one eye to see who was coming closer and seen it was Ivy. She knew the girl would end up turning around and walk away after seeing what was going on.  _

_ When Ivy started talking, she pretended to jump because Willam did.  _

_ Once Willam walked away to help Jinkx, she and Ivy got into an argument. When Pearl headed towards her and Ivy, she knew it hurt Pearl but she didn't care. _

_ ~~~ _

“Violet, why?” Pearl asked.

“Why does it matter? It's not like me and you are together. I'm pretty sure I can mess around with whoever and whenever I want. So, stop riding my ass like a child following its parents. It's annoying.” Violet walked away laughing. 

__

“Holy shit. Pearl, sweetie come here.” Ivy tried to pull the girl closer but she pushed her away and headed inside. Ivy went back to the table to join her friends. 

__

After Willam finally left the group, Ivy sat down and felt like she failed what she planned to do. 

Katya started to panic and jumped up trying not to freak out. 

__

“Oh my god, oh my god! We need to get to my room. Now!” Katya said while quickly walking away.

“Kat, what are you doing?” Courtney asked while following her. 

“My stash! She knows where it is!” Katya ran inside and the rest of the girls followed.

__

When they all went inside, Adore heard screaming coming from her room. She ran to the room and seen Violet was choking Pearl on her bed. 

Adore ran in and started to pull the girl off of Pearl but Violet elbowed her in the chest which caused her to lose her breath. She heard Pearl getting quieter each second so she did the only thing she could think of and punched Violet on the side of her head which also got her ear. 

__

Violet fell to her side landing on her bed and holding her ear. Adore picked up Pearl and noticed she wasn't breathing and she was very limp. 

All Adore could do was bring her to Bianca. As she pounded on the woman's office door, she seen Trixie running towards her. 

__

Bianca opened her door and quickly grabbed Pearl bringing her to the bed. She began doing CPR, but when she noticed it wasn't helping she yelled for Adore to get Sasha. 

Adore ran as fast as she could to Sasha’s office scaring the woman until she seen the girl was panicking and pointing towards Bianca's office and was shaking. The two ran to the woman's office and when Sasha seen Bianca trying to get the girl to wake up, she quickly called for an ambulance. 

__

Adore ran back into her room and seen Violet was on her bed still holding her ear and scratch marks all over her face and arms. Pearl fought back hard but it didn't stop Violet. The girl ran up to Violet and pulled her hair dragging her to the ground and started pounding the girls face. 

__

“ADORE! STOP!” Jinkx yelled running in grabbing the girl off of Violet. Adore kicked Violet in the ribs.

__

Sasha was trying to help Bianca until she heard Jinkx yelling. She seen them pulling Adore out of the room and ran to them. 

__

“What happened? Adore! What are you doing!” Sasha yelled as she seen Violet slowly getting up.

__

“SHE WAS CHOKING PEARL! I RAN IN AND SEEN HER CHOKING PEARL!” Adore screamed still trying to fight out of Jinkx’ grip. 

__

Once Sasha and Jinkx got her away from the room and seated in one of the chairs outside of Bianca's office, she went back in to see the woman crying and holding the girls hand. 

__

“Bianca…” Sasha said slowly walking to the woman.

“She… she's gone..” Bianca cried harder and hugged Sasha. Both crying.

Paramedics ran into the office and grabbed Pearl strapping her to the gurney and quickly put a oxygen mask on her. One checked her pulse and felt there wasn't one. He quickly grabbed the one thing he could think of, a defibrillator. 

“We need to get her loaded in and go, Shaun!” the other paramedic yelled. 

“She needs this, now!” Shaun yelled starting to use it. 

After several tries, the paramedic backed away. 

“Fuck…” 


	12. Chapter 12

As the paramedics loaded Pearl into the ambulance, Bianca was hugging Sasha and crying into the woman. 

 

“I tried. I tried so hard and failed her!” Bianca was crying so hard she could hardly get the words out. 

“I know B, but hopefully they can do something to help her.” 

“Did you not see how she looked? They couldn't even get her heart to start. She won't be coming back, Sasha.” Bianca headed back inside. 

 

Trixie, Katya, Courtney, Jinkx, Ivy, and Adore were all sitting outside of Bianca's office crying into each other. They all felt like they failed their friend. 

Two officers headed towards them and asked who seen what happened so they could get more information on what exactly happened. Adore raised her hand. 

 

“Miss Delano, what did you see?” Officer Devayne asked. 

“I heard screaming and, and yelling. I quickly ran to my room and seen Violet choking Pearl. I ran into the room and started to pull Violet off of her but she elbowed me which stopped me and I heard Pearl getting quieter, so I did the only thing I could think of and punched the side of her head, which also got her ear. Once she fell, I grabbed Pearl noticing she wasn't breathing and she was very limp. I was able to hold her to Bianca's office since it’s across from my room and just pounded on the door. Once she seen her, she quickly grabbed her and put her on the bed trying CPR. She told me to get Sasha, so I did. Then I went back to my room and started fighting with Violet. I seen every scratch mark that was on her from Pearl fighting back. She tried. She tried to fight back but it wasn't enough..” Adore cried harder into her hands. 

 

“Thank you, Miss Delano. You said it was Violet, correct?” Officer O'Hara asked. 

“Yes.”

Adore was sent back to her friends as they watched the two officers enter her room, arresting Violet. Nobody in the group showed any emotion except anger towards the girl. Each one wanted to hurt her for what she did to their friend. 

~~~~

The group was allowed to sleep in the room where the group sessions were always held so they could keep each other company. Sasha ordered for beds to be put into the room so they each had a place to sleep. 

Katya and Trixie cuddled up to each other finally being able to sleep together once again, but they weren't happy. They just lost a friend so close to them. 

“Wait, does anyone know why it even happened?” Courtney asked as she sat up. 

“No, I don't think Violet even told them why.” Ivy said hugging into Jinkx. 

Adore was ignoring the conversation, even had her back facing the group. She was worried about Bianca and knew the woman needed someone who knew exactly how to comfort her. 

“I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be back.” Adore said without looking at the group and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

She went to Bianca's room because she knew the woman wouldn't be in her office. Adore knocked before she walked in. When she heard Bianca say come in, she slowly entered and closed the door softly. 

“I hope it's okay that I'm in here. I just had to make sure you were okay.” Adore laid next to Bianca. 

“It's fine. I need you more than ever right now.”

Bianca told her how she felt it was her fault and how she failed at saving the girl. Adore tried to hold herself together while hearing everything Bianca was telling her. 

“It's not your fault, you tried. That's what matters.” Adore pulled her closer and started to run her fingers through Bianca's hair. 

When she felt Bianca's breathing was showing signs that she was asleep, she kissed her head softly and wrapped her arm around the woman's waist falling asleep as well. 

~~~

“What caused you to do it?” Officer Devayne asked. 

“She seen me talking with one of the staff and got upset because she must have thought I was her property or something since we slept together last night.” Violet said as she was checking the polish on her fingers.

“So you killed her because she felt something towards you which must have grown stronger after last night. Or am I missing something here?” Officer Devayne asked looking over her notes.

“How exactly did she end up in your room before you did this?” Officer O’hara asked.

“I seen her headed towards her room looking all pissed and crying, I thought it was funny so I called her name and told her to come to my room and like an idiot, she did. I told her that we're not dating and I'm not her property so she needed to back off. She got mad and pushed me, so I threw her on my bed and boom. There it started.” Violet couldn't help but laugh. 

“This is not a joking matter. You killed her, Violet. Look at all of those marks on your arms and face. Why didn't you stop knowing she was trying to stop you herself?” O’hara asked.

“Because I didn't want too.”

~~~~ _ the next day~~~~ _

Ivy woke up facing Jinkx, both still cuddled up to each other, and heard a soft snore coming from them. She smiled and looked at how beautiful she found them and how happy she felt that they were her best friend since the day they met. 

When she felt Jinkx start to move like they were waking up, she pretended to be asleep again so she wouldn't look creepy just staring. Jinkx rubbed their eyes before opening them. When they did, they seen Ivy was still holding them and smiled. 

They seen hair on the girls cheek and did what they always do when she had hair on her face, they tucked it behind her ear, then put their hand on the girls shoulder rubbing small circles admiring how beautiful she is even when she's asleep.

Ivy woke back up and smiled at Jinkx.

“Morning love.” she whispered.

“Morning, did you get enough sleep?” Jinkx asked putting their hand on the side of the girls neck rubbing the small circles there.

“A bit. How about you?” 

“Yeah, crying usually helps me sleep more. Odd I know.” Jinkx said as they looked down at the girls lips.

“That's not odd. It helps my brother too.” Ivy smiled and bit her lip.

~~~~~

Sasha and Bianca were getting ready to leave so they could head to the hospital. Sasha received a phone call early that morning saying they needed to come as fast as they could. 

Bianca signed a form Sasha gave her allowing one of the patients to come along with them. She chose Adore since the girl seen what happened and so she could answer any questions they might have.

Adore met them at Sasha’s office and the three of them left. 

When they got to the hospital, the doctor went to them. 

“I need you to follow me, quickly please.” he headed for the elevator and they all got in and went to the fourth floor. 

When they walked towards a room that was meant for a patient, Bianca stopped the doctor. 

“Is there something we missed? She didn't make it last night.” 

“They were able to get her breathing again on the way here. She didn't wake, but her breathing was slowly starting. When they got her here, I checked for a pulse and there was a small one. I hooked her up to a heart monitor and there it was. Extremely low but it has grown more and showing signs that she's making it. We're still waiting for her to wake up though.” the doctor said smiling.

Bianca started smiling happily as the doctor told them everything. Adore held the woman's hand and followed the doctor into the room. 

Sasha was still in shock but happy to hear the girl made it through everything. 

When the three of them seen Pearl laying in the bed hooked up to an IV, heart monitor, oxygen mask and blood pressure monitor, they couldn't help but smile softly. Even though her eyes were closed, they were still relieved they could hear there was beeping coming from the monitor. 

As Adore got closer to the girls side, she could see bruises making a handprint and covered her mouth. She never thought she’d see her friend like this.

Bianca walked to the other side of the girl. She sat in the chair that was next to her and stroked the girls hair. 

Sasha joined Bianca and smiled that she did help the girl in some way. 

“I've read that if you talk to someone in this state, it helps them.” Sasha said looking towards Adore. “I think you should do it.” 

Adore sat in the chair behind her and pulled it closer to Pearls bedside so she could be as close to her friend as possible. She grabbed the girls hand and held it. 

“Hey Pearly, it's Adore. You have no idea how happy I am right now knowing you made it through all of this, you have always been so strong and never let anything stop you. I love you, I hope you can hear me.. I will always be on your side and always there for you whenever you need me. You can do this, I know you ca-” Adore looked down at their hands and seen what she felt was real. Pearls finger moved again. 

“She, she moved her finger. I felt her move her finger.” Adore kept looking at their hands to see if the girl would move it again. 

The doctor walked closer so he could be next to Adore and joined her in looking at the girls hand. 

“Keep talking to her.” 

“Pearly, can you hear me? Come on babe, you can do it!” Adore held her hand hard enough to feel if she would move. 

Pearl made a small noise but didn't move her finger again or open her eyes. 

“If you can hear me, please try and give me a sign.” 

Pearl moved her finger again. 

The heart monitor began to slowly drop and so did the girls breathing. The doctor pushed Adore out of his way and moved Bianca's hand off the girl. Two nurses ran in and joined on each side of the bed. One had the cart holding the defibrillator.

“I need you three to move out of the way please!” the doctor yelled.

Adore watched as her friend was slowly leaving her again. Sasha grabbed Adore pulling the girl and Bianca out of the room and had them sit in the chairs across the room. 

They watched as two other nurses ran in and heard the machine once again. Sasha was holding Bianca trying to comfort the woman knowing she wouldn't be able too. 

Adore sat quietly listening to everything that was happening as tears began to stream down her face. When the doctor told them how well Pearl was reacting to everything, her heart raced and she couldn't wait to see her friend. Now her heart was breaking, fearing that this time might be the last time she would see the girls face again. 

Adore thought she was helping her friend to wake up, but now she felt like a failure. She failed her mother and now her friend. 

~~~~~

During free time Trixie and Katya sat in front of the pond feeding the fish. Katya looked towards the flowers and seen both Jinkx and Ivy sitting together. 

“Kat, what did you mean by your stash, and why were you so scared Pearl would find it?” Trixie asked quietly. 

“Um, nothing. Just my stash of books.” Katya said nervously. 

“Stop lying. Just tell me the truth. Please.”

“I.. I've been saving the meds they give me during the med rounds. I just hate how they make me feel, I don't need them.” Katya looked at her hands.

“Are you serious? Katya, if this is a joke it is seriously not funny.” 

“Why would I joke about that at a time like this, Trixie?” Katya looked at Trixie and when she seen how disappointed she looked, her heart broke. “I'm so sorry Trixie.” 

“You promised you were going to stop that. How long have you been doing that?” Trixie asked. 

“Since you had to switch rooms..” 

“Katya that was months ago! Almost a year now!” Trixie jumped up yelling at her.

Katya stood up grabbing Trixie’s hands. 

“Please, please listen to me. I'm sorry!” 

“Show me the stash. Now!” Trixie dropped her hands from Katya's. 

The two walked to the girls room and Katya lifted her mattress and pulled two crumpled balls of foil that held the pills she's been keeping and handed them to Trixie.

Trixie opened each just enough to see the pills inside. After closing them, she walked out of the room and headed towards the bathroom. Katya quickly following her. 

Once they got to the stall, Trixie looked back at Katya. 

“What exactly were you going to do with all of these? And tell me the truth.” 

“You know what I was planning to do..” Katya's eyes swelled with tears. 

Trixie looked back at the toilet, opened each balls of foil that contained the meds and dumped all of them into the toilet and flushed. She could hear Katya crying behind her as she watched and made sure each one went down. 

She put both balls of foil into one bunch and walked past Katya to the garbage can. Then she walked out of the bathroom. 

“Trixie! Come back!” Katya ran after her. Trixie stopped and turned around. 

“After all the shit that has been happening around here, you were saving all of that to kill yourself? Are you fucking kidding me! Did you forget how Max left? How Pearl just died! How close Bianca was close to dying and you were going to add your name to that list? I don't understand, you were going to leave me behind all because you're tired of being in this place?” Trixie sat in one of the chairs next to Bianca's office. 

“No! I wasn't planning on leaving you behind, half was for you. Like we were planning before the room switch! I love you, Trix. I would never hurt you like that.” Katya held Trixie's hands. 

“I told you after the switch that I didn't want to do that anymore. That we didn't need to leave this place. You just didn't listen.”

~~~~~

_ “Okay, I think I've saved enough for both of us.” Katya said.  _

_ “Good. I don't want one of us ending up dead and the other saved.” Trixie said taking a sip of water.  _

_ “That won't happen, don't worry.” Katya smiled as she hid the stash. “I think we should enjoy one last hot moment. I don't think we can get laid after.” they both laughed.  _

_ They began to makeout stopping only to remove their shirts then continued to kiss each other. Katya layed Trixie down and began to kiss down her chest, stomach and pulled the girls shorts down. Once her hand was where she needed it to be, she kissed back up Trixie's body until she reached her lips again, laying next to the girl not stopping what she was doing.  _

_ Trixie grabbed the girls blanket tightly and struggled to keep quiet. She reached her hand onto Katya's shorts and pulled her shorts down as good as she was able to do while struggling to keep from moaning too loud. Katya lifted her hips so Trixie had a better chance of pulling them down. Once she did, she slid her hand where Katya desperately needed Trixie to be.  _

_ The two of them didn't notice how loud they were being until Michelle walked in.  _

_ “Katya! Trixie!” Michelle yelled once she seen what was happening.  _

_ The two girls jumped and put their hands up.  _

_ “What the hell do you think you're doing? You know that is against the rules! Both of you get dressed and in my office. Now!” Michelle walked out and headed for her office.  _

_ “Well that sucks, I didn't even get to finish.” Katya said as they walked out together.  _

_ “Are you serious right now? We could get in serious trouble for this, Kat.” Trixie said as she began to put her hair into a bun.  _

_ “At least it's from something amazing and not stupid.” Katya smiled.  _

_ “You're an idiot.” Trixie laughed. _

_ As they walked into Michelle's office and sat down, Michelle began to speak.  _

_ “You're both getting a room change and on strict watch. Starting now.” Michelle signed the form approving the room switch. “Trixie, pack your shit.” _

_ Both girls walked out together holding hands and in shock. Once they got into their room Katya sat on her bed and watched Trixie slowly start to remove her clothes from her dresser.  _

_ “Kat, I don't want us to do our plan anymore. Flush your stash.” Trixie wiped her nose with a tissue.  _

_ “Okay…” _

_ ~~~~~ _

Courtney went to Adore's room only to find the girl wasn't there either. When she woke up she seen Adore wasn't there with them and thought she just woke up early. Now that she couldn't find her anywhere, she began to worry. 

As she was starting to close the door she looked at Violet's bed and seen her blankets all bunched up and some things on the floor from being knocked off of her side table. 

She began to picture Violet attacking Pearl and how the girl could do that to someone she called her best friend, who helped Pearl out of her internalized homophobia because she fell in love with Violet. 

Courtney closed the door and headed back outside since they were given a free day because of everything that happened. 

__

Ivy and Jinkx sat close to each other watching the flowers and how beautiful they looked. Only one thing caught Jinkx’ eye and that was the beautiful girl sitting close to them. They picked one of the flowers and turned so they were facing each other, handing the girl the flower they picked. 

__

“Thank you Jinkxy.” Ivy smiled.

“Hey Daisy?” Jinkx asked nervously.

“Wow, you haven't called me that in so long!” 

“Can we play the question game again?” Jinkx looked at the flower they gave her.

“Yes! Of course!” Ivy sat up more as she prepared for the game. “Who goes first?” 

__

“Can I?” Jinkx asked.

“Yep!” Ivy smiled. 

“Do you have a crush on anyone here?” Jinkx started picking at their sweater. 

“Yes, yes I do.” Ivy smelled the flower. “My turn! Do  _ you  _ have a crush on anyone here?” 

“Um, yeah..” Jinkx continued to pick their sweater. “Are you happy?” they looked up at Ivy.

__

“Yep. Ever since I met my crush, I haven't felt happier. This person was one of the first people to ever make me feel comfortable and safe here and I am so lucky.” Ivy smelled the flower again. “What is your favorite thing about being here?”

__

“The friends I've made. Especially you.” Jinkx gave a small smile. “What do you miss more since being here?” 

Ivy looked down and exhaled. 

“My brother.. The pictures of our parents hanging along the hallway to both of our rooms.” Ivy pulled a folded picture from her back pocket and handed it to Jinkx. “That's all of us before they died.”

__

Jinkx looked at the picture and seen how happy Ivy looked, the biggest smile on her face.

“This picture is beautiful. You look just like her. I'm so sorry you, you lost them.” Jinkx handed her back the picture and watched as she looked at the picture before folding it and putting it back into her pocket. 

“Yeah, Dustin says that a lot. He always said he didn't have to look at a picture of her since I look just like her and how he felt like she helped so when something happened, we’d always have a way to see her besides pictures. I used to think he was stupid and how that couldn't happen but as I got older, I started to feel like he was right.” Ivy picked up her flower and began to smell it again. 

Jinkx seen how hurt the girl looked and leaned in to give her a hug. When they say back to where they were sitting, they seen a small smile on the girls face. 

“Anyway, um, it's my turn. Who is your crush and why?”

“I won't answer that unless we answer at the same time.” Jinkx smirked. 

“Ugh, fine.” Ivy laughed. “On a count of three. Ready? One… two.. Three!” 

Together they answered at the same time like they planned. 

“Courtney.” “You.”

Jinkx looked at Ivy and couldn't believe what she said. They had such a strong feeling that she felt the same way they did. 

“Oh my god. Jinkx, I didn't think y-” Ivy was shocked. 

Jinkx got up and looked down at Ivy.

“Don't worry about it.. I'll see you later.” Jinkx smiled and walked away. 

As they were heading inside, they seen Courtney walking outside. 

“Hey Jinkx, have you seen Adore? I can't find her anywhere.” Courtney asked.

“No, sorry.” Jinkx walked away trying to hold in the heartbreak they were feeling. 

Jinkx heard Ivy’s laughter and turned to see Courtney sitting with her. They started feeling like they were never meant to be happy, but she was. 

Before they continued to walk inside, they seen Courtney get closer to Ivy and play with the girls hair the way they always did. It's no wonder why Ivy loved it so much, it reminded her of Courtney.

~~~~~

Adore felt like her heart just kept sinking lower and wished she could give Pearl her own heart just so the girl could have a long and happy life. 

She heard Bianca's crying was getting softer like the night before, but knew Sasha wasn't calming her as well like she always did, but respected her for trying. 

The doctor finally walked out of the room and all three of them jumped up. 

“If you want to say your goodbyes, now would be the time. I'm so sorry, we tried everything.” He looked down and moved to the side so they could walk in. 

Bianca dropped to her knees bursting into tears again.

“NO! NO! YOU SAID SHE WAS DOING WELL! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD!” 

Adore walked into the room and looked at her friend just laying there. All of the things she was hooked up to, were no longer there. 

She sat in the chair that she sat in before she had to leave the room. Once again she grabbed the girls hand.

“I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could have gotten to you fast enough so you wouldn't be in this spot. I'm so sorry. I love you so much.” She looked at their hands wishing she would feel the girl move her fingers again but didn't feel anything. “Goodnight Pearly.” 

Adore walked out of the room looking back one last time then went back to her chair she sat in while waiting for the doctor. She watched both Bianca and Sasha walk into the room waiting a few seconds before she started to listen to what they were saying to the young girl, but couldn't hear what they were saying.

After they walked out, Adore stood up and asked the doctor if she can go in one last time and he allowed her. 

As she got closer to her friend again, she seen the cart that held the tools he used on her and noticed the scalpel was clean and hadn't been used. At least they didn't use that on her.

Adore hugged and kissed her cheek one last time before leaving the room. As she got to the doorway, she looked back at Pearl. 

“I love you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all are enjoying this so far! Your kudos and comments mean a lot to me so please feel free to leave any as you wish :)

As the three walked out of the hospital, Sasha tried to help Bianca to stay standing so she wouldn't drop to her knees again until they got to the car and put her in. 

Adore had both hands in her sweaters pocket just thinking she'll never see or hear her beautiful friend again. She had a very strong feeling that this didn't happen over Pearl being upset about Violet and Willam, but from something more. 

 

When they arrived back to their hospital, Bianca went straight to her room and Sasha went to hers. Adore watched them both until she seen her beautiful ginger haired friend walking towards her.

 

“Courtney is looking for you.” Jinkx said while looking down. 

“I don't want to see her right now, she'll just piss me off.” 

“Um, Adore?” Jinkx slowly started to look up. “Where were you?”

 

“Hospital. B and Sasha let me go with them in case any other questions needed to be answered.” 

“Is she, is she okay?” Jinkx began to pick at their sweater.

“They got her heart to start when they left here and had her on a oxygen mask so she could breath more. When we got there, she was hooked up to all kinds of shit but her eyes were closed. When I sat next to her, I held her hand and began to talk to her. I felt a finger move and she made a noise but.. But her heart monitor started to drop and we were pushed out of her room. They did everything they could but she's gone Jinkx. She's fucking gone..” She pulled Jinkx in and hugged them.

 

Jinkx broke down hearing that their best friend was truly gone. They had such high hopes she would pull through all of this and come back. 

They started thinking of what they had said as she was being taken to the hospital,  **_I'll write a song for you to come home to_ ** .

Adore walked Jinkx to the room that the group got to sleep in and laid next to them. She held Jinkx close as they were breaking down even more. As she was crying while holding them, she was quiet about it so she could do all she can for them. They just lost their best friend, someone who has been by their side since they arrived here. She didn't want to look selfish. 

 

\----

~the day before~

_ After Willam went to help Jinkx and Violet went inside, Pearl headed for her room to read the book that has always calmed her.  _

_ As she got closer to her room, she seen Violet was standing next to her door.  _

 

_ “I had a feeling you’d come here so that's why I was waiting for you.” Violet smiled. _

_ “What do you want? You already yelled at me.” Pearl said as she leaned against the wall. _

 

_ Violet got close to the girls face and kissed her. Pearl pushed her away but stopped when Violet bit the girls lip which caused her to continue kissing Violet.  _

 

_ “Let's go to my room.” Violet held Pearls hand as they headed for her room.  _

_ Once they got inside, Violet didn't close the door behind her. When Pearl went to say something, Violet pushed her on the bed as her anger began to rise. _

 

_ “Why did you stop Willam? I know you sent Ivy over to stop what was happening because you're way too chicken shit to do it yourself!” Violet smacked Pearl. _

_ “Because you were cheating on me right in front of my face! I didn't send her over, she chose to do that herself!” Pearl stood up and pushed Violet. _

 

_ Violet began to laugh as she put her hair into a ponytail.  _

_ “Wait, you didn't think I was serious about us being together did you?”  _

_ “How else would ‘will you be with me?’ stand for?” Pearl got closer to Violet. _

 

_ “I meant it as my sex toy. I don't have feelings for you at all, Pearl. I just wanted to fuck you.” Violet smirked. _

_ “You clearly lost your mind since Max died.” Pearl headed for the door but Violet pulled her back by her hair and pushed her back onto her bed. _

_ “DON'T YOU DARE BRING HER INTO THIS!” Violet smacked Pearl again. _

 

_ Pearl softly rubbed her cheek where she had been hit.  _

 

_ “Oh shit, I'm sorry!” Violet climbed onto Pearls lap. _

_ “Get off of me.” Pearl moved Violet off of her. _

_ “Not until you get me off first.” Violet smiled. _

_ “No.” Pearl tried to get up but Violet got back onto the girls lap. _

_ “Fine. I'll get you off. My fucking back!” Violet began to choke her. She's had this planned for months now. She just waited for the right time to do it. _

 

_ Pearl tried to fight Violet off of her by hitting the girls arms, pulling at her hands to try and get her to stop. Then she realized those weren't helping, so she started to scratch anywhere she could.  _

_ It was getting even harder to fight back with how hard Violet was choking her. Her arms felt like a weight was pulling them down. As her arms dropped, the room started to turn black. The last she heard was Violet yelling at her. _

 

_ “YOU'RE SO STUPID! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!”  _

 

_ Violet kept yelling but her words were hard to understand.  _

_ Adore ran into the room and seen what was happening. She tried to pull Violet off of Pearl, but Violet elbowed her so hard in the chest that it made Adore stop pulling for a second.  _

_ Violet finally let go of Pearl once Adore hit her on the side of her head also causing her ear to get hit. She fell onto the side of her bed knocking things off of her nightstand.  _

 

_ Adore seen Pearl and quickly grabbed her then headed for Bianca's office as fast as she could. Pearl was so limp, she almost fell trying to get her there. She also felt Pearl wasn't breathing.  _

 

_ \----- _

~two weeks later~

Jinkx hasn't talked to anyone since their breakdown with Adore. The only person they truly speak to anymore is Adore. They were even ignoring Ivy the most. 

They weren't ignoring her over the whole crush thing, they were doing it because she never asked how they were doing. Not once. This hurt Jinkx because they have always been there for her and now it felt like the girl never cared about how they felt. 

 

“Both haven't talked in two weeks Bianca, we don't know what to do anymore.” Sasha said while looking over the notes for Jinkx and Adore. 

“They talk to each other and sometimes they talk to me. That's something. You also need to understand they lost their friend. They need time to cope.” Bianca sat down drinking her third cup of coffee. 

 

“We're expecting the new staff soon, and the security cameras have been upgraded so they'll be better with catching things.” Sasha handed the forms of the new staff to her friend. 

“Okay. Cool. I'm sorry, I need to get to my room. I'm not feeling so good. Come get me when they get here, please.” 

 

~two hours later~

“Tatianna, could you get Bianca for me please. She's in her room.” Sasha directed the new staff to the group room. 

“Of course!” Tatianna headed for the woman's room and stopped when she seen Adore.

 

“Hey lovely, are you doing okay today?” she had a beautiful smile and the girl loved it.

“I guess so. Kinda better than yesterday actually.” Adore pulled her hood off.

“That's good! I'll come talk with you later okay? I have to do something for Miss Sasha. Keep your head up, pumpkin.” she rubbed Adore's cheek, smiled, then headed for Bianca's room.

 

\------

“Hello, I'm Blair. I'm here for the new staff position. Very nice to meet you.” She was a very perky girl who the others would love and connect with.

“Nice to meet you dear.” Sasha shook the girls hand.

“You know me already but, I'm also here for the new staff position.” Aja smiled.

 

“Aja!” Bianca said as she walked into the office.

“Mom! I missed you!” Aja hugged the woman.

“We need to stay professional right now, Bianca.” Sasha said while laughing.

 

After they were interviewed, Tatianna showed them their rooms they each had that was like their own little home. They also received the uniforms they needed to wear while they were working. 

 

Sasha felt tired, but she still needed to interview the new guards.

As the interviews ended and they were given their equipment and rooms, she headed for hers. 

 

Michelle was finally back from her vacation that was cut short because of the big events that happened. She was in her office reading over everything when Willam walked in. 

 

“Oh, Willam. You scared me.” Michelle said as she was cleaning the tears off of her face.

“I need to tell you something, Michelle.” The girl sat across the woman.

 

“Of course!” Michelle smiled.

“I was having a secret relationship with Violet. It's been going on for a year now.” Willam seen the look on the woman's face and knew she was going to be yelled at. 

 

“Seriously? You know that's highly against the rules. What the fuck were you thinking!” Michelle stood up and looked around the room. “Turn in your badge and keys. You're fired. Get out. Now!” 

 

Willam did as she was told, gave Tatianna a hug goodbye and left. 

 

\----

Bianca was having a very important phone call with people she thought she'd never hear from again. She needed Michelle, quickly. 

 

Tatianna was giving Blair and the new guards a tour of the building so they knew exactly where everything was and given files about every patient so they knew exactly how to handle everyone.

Since Aja knew everything about the place from their time here, they joined everyone that was at free time. 

 

“Who's that?” Ivy asked as she pointed towards the door.

“That's Aja!” Courtney jumped up and ran to them. Jumping into their arms.

“Courtney! Oh my god!” Aja picked the girl up for a better hug. “I missed you, sis!”

 

Courtney couldn't help but hug tighter. It's been way too long since they last seen each other. 

 

Ivy watched from her normal spot and felt happy for the girl. She wished that would happen to her someday. 

 

\----

Tatianna finished with the new staff and was finally able to sit down. She heard someone singing but couldn't recognize who it could be, so she started to walk towards the area she could hear it from. 

The singing came from one of the patients rooms but knew it wasn't Adore. 

 

**Midnight falls over me** ****  
**I see the moon in your eyes** ****  
**Just be here, just breathe** **  
** **Just stay to see the sunrise**

 

She peeked inside the room and seen Jinkx was writing down something then began to sing again. She seen Adore was in the room with them helping Jinkx with the lyrics and listening to what they had been working on so far. 

Tatianna felt like they both were being more open and were ready to be more social with everyone again. 

 

As she headed back to her chair in the nurses area, she began to fix where the hand sanitizer and tissue box sat since she had nothing else to do at the moment. 

She heard a door close and soft footsteps heading her way. 

 

“Hi Tati, do you want to talk now or later?” Adore asked as she picked a tissue from the box and started to fold it. 

“Um, later. I'm still on the clock. Sorry pumpkin.” Tatianna felt bad because the girl seemed like she really wanted to talk.

If she wasn't on the clock she would have asked the girl where she wanted to talk. Adore has always been her favorite and would help the girl with anything she needed. 

 

“Tatianna, do you know where Monsoon and Delano are? Bianca needs to speak with them right away.” Blair asked.

“Oh, um Adore just headed outside and Jinkx is in their room.” 

“Could you help me get them, please. I'm still trying to recognize each girl.” Blair said as she seen Tatianna was frustrated.

 

“Jinkx prefers they or them. Not girl, and is the bright ginger haired one over there. Adore is the girl with black and blue green hair that's starting to fade. If you want to get them correct, I suggest you do your first job alone. It's actually easy, trust me.” Tatianna said as she pointed in Jinkx’ direction. 

“Oh, thank you. Thank you very much!” Blair walked away hoping to get them correctly. 

“Ugh, she already bugs me.” Tatianna said as she began to file her nails. 

 

\----

“So, what are the funeral plans?” Michelle asked while looking at a form that didn't have that information on it. 

“I don't-” Bianca was cut off as Blair walked in with both Jinkx and Adore behind her. 

“Here you are, Mrs. Bianca! Need anything else?” Blair smiled. 

“It's Miss. Not Mrs. And no, not right now Blair. Feel free to walk around outside with Aja.” Bianca said as she directed the two to the chairs they needed to sit in. 

 

“Now, we need to tell you both something.” Michelle said as she fixed her shirt. 

“Good or bad?” Jinkx asked. 

 

“Both.” Both women said together.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I edited this chapter so the timing seems right with how advanced someone talks. If you haven't read this chapter yet, you'll understand what I mean after you read it.  
> Enjoy!

“Both? I already hate this.” Jinkx said as they began to twirl a piece of their curls.

“Yeah, how exactly do you expect us to react to that?” Adore asked.

“Who died now?” Jinkx asked showing no emotion.

“Jinkx.. No..” Adore grabbed their hand.

 

“Nobody died, dear. How about a trip away from here for a bit?” Bianca asked handing Michelle the form that needed to be signed.

“Um, where?” Jinkx asked letting go of the piece of hair they were twirling.

“It's a surprise!” Michelle said smiling.

“That's it, they're going to kill us.” Adore said while laughing.

“You're an idiot!” Jinkx said as they joined in the laughing.

 

“You both need to change out of your pajamas though.” Bianca said. “Meet us back here when you're finished getting ready.” 

“Okay.” Both of them answered as they were leaving.

 

Katya was walking past the office and jumped when they both were leaving. 

 

“Oh shit! You scared me!” Katya said holding her chest. “It's Halloween, I get scared easily you know.” she laughed.

“I know, I was already planning on what to do for scaring you. Better watch out, Kat.” Adore said as she winked and began walking away.

 

\------

Ivy walked inside to head for the bathroom and when she walked in, she seen Jinkx putting their hair ‘half up, half down’ as Adore called it when she showed them how to do it perfectly.

 

“Hey Jinkx.. Are you still not talking? I miss you.” Ivy said nervously.

“I'm talking. Just not to you.” Jinkx finished their hair and grabbed their shower caddy to leave.

“Why not? What did I do? Is it the Courtney thing?” Ivy said as Jinkx walked past her, which made them stop but didn't turn around to face her. Just turned their head to the side so she could hear them better.

 

“Out of all the times I have been there for you, every single time, you couldn't be there for me. I lost my best friend and you never came to me asking if I was okay or to even sit with me and talk to me. Not once, Ivy. That is why I haven't bothered to talk to you.” Jinkx turned their head back and slowly started to walk away.

Ivy just stood there in shock and began to cry.

 

Adore went to Jinkx’ room to see if they were ready and seen they were struggling to pick what to wear. 

 

“Need help, babe?” Adore asked as she walked in.

“Yes please. I'm not sure what exactly matches with what.” 

“I think this dark blue short sleeve with the little pumpkins on the pocket, and these black pants would go perfect together, along with your flats.” Adore said as she put the clothes together. “It is a little cold out so shorts is definitely a no no. You also have that super cute jacket you could wear so you don't freeze.”

 

“Thank you, Dory.” Jinkx smiled.

“Also, I love that you did your hair the way I showed you!” she clapped while smiling.

“Learned from the best! Adore, could I get some privacy please.” They started to laugh as Adore jumped up and headed for the door.

 

Adore waited outside of Jinkx’ room so they could walk together to Michelle's office. She looked up and seen Tatianna walking towards her.

“Hey Adore, you look very pretty today!” she smiled.

“Don't I look pretty everyday? Or just when I'm wearing actual clothes and not my pajamas.” Adore laughed.

 

“Brat. You know you're pretty everyday.” Tatianna fixed her side braid. “Are you going somewhere?” 

“Yeah, B and Michelle said Jinkx and I had to go with them. No clue where though.” Adore said as she fixed her dress seeing that her bra was starting to show a bit.

 

Jinkx walked out of their room and gave Tatianna a small smile. They didn't know the girl like Adore did so they weren't sure what to do.

 

“Jinkx you look really cute! I love it!” The woman said as she looked them over, loving every bit of it.

 

\-------

The two were led outside by one of the security guards and taken to Michelle's car, where the two women were waiting.

As the four of them got into the car and began to leave, Jinkx looked out of their window and smiled. It's been so long since they've seen the actual outside world instead of seeing it during free time.

 

“Wow. It's so beautiful out here.” Jinkx said.

“It really is.” Adore said grabbing their hand to hold. “I'm glad we're seeing it together.” she whispered to them.

“You got to see it a few weeks ago, let me have my moment you jerk.” Jinkx laughed and seen Adore smile. They squeezed her hand slightly.

 

\------

Two security guards were watching over the girls during free time, one walked around the halls, and two guarded the entrance. With more security, they were sure there wouldn't be another type of incident like Pearls or Bianca's.

 

Sasha was finally looking over Pearls file of when she arrived and now had to put in the new information about the girl, wishing she didn't have too. She was here for 5 years and became family with everyone in the hospital, especially with Sasha. They grew closer during her counseling sessions, and now the woman feels like she just lost a daughter. Nobody truly knew what the girls reason for being here was, except for Sasha. 

 

_ Name: Pearl Liaison _

_ Age: 15 _

_ Reason for entering Visage Hospital: Suicide attempt. _

_ Height: 5'8” _

_ Weight: 110 lbs. _

_ Parent/Family Contacts:  _

_ No parents listed. Family listed; Matt Liaison _

_ Entry Date: October 30, 2013. _

_ Notes: Liaison will be paired with a roommate asap. No filler room, for safety reasoning.  _

 

_ Name: Pearl Liaison _

_ Age: 20 _

_ Reason for leaving: Death. _

_ Height: 5'8” _

_ Weight: 125 _

_ Parent/Family Contacts: _

_ No parents listed.  _

_ Family listed; Matt Liaison - notified of death. _

_ Exit Date: October 16, 2018 _

_ Notes: Miss Liaison reasoning for leaving Visage Hospital is caused from death by Miss Chachki.  _

 

Sasha dropped her pen and began to cry because of everything she had to put into the girls files and forms she had to sign. 

Pearls brother was notified by Sasha and asked if he could come to talk with Sasha about everything that happened and if he could collect his sisters belongings. 

 

\---------

Aja joined Tatianna at the nurses quarters and sat next to her. 

 

“So, why did Will get the boot?” They asked while looking around seeing how much has changed since their time here.

 

“From what I heard outside of Michelle's office, the door was cracked, her and Violet had a thing going on for about a year now and she felt it was her fault that Pearl got attacked and killed by Violet. Michelle went off on her about how it's against the rules and shit, but you know Will is an idiot and never listens or pays attention unless it's to get someone in trouble. Holy shit!! That explains why she was so worried about Violet when she was attacked!!” Tatianna jumped up and gasped. 

 

“Wait, what? Rewind, sis. Who died and who got attacked?” Aja asked while getting Tatianna to sit back down. 

“Oh, right! I thought Sasha or Michelle filled you in on everything. Okay so Katya attacked Bianca, literally almost killed her if it wasn't for someone stopping her. Then Trixie attacked Violet, could have killed her too. And Violet strangled Pearl to death about two weeks ago..” Tatianna looked down after saying what happened to Pearl. 

 

“ Vi killed Pearl? Are you fucking kidding me? Weren't they like best friends out of everyone here! Holy shit.” Aja's voice was shaking. 

“Yeah. Apparently they slept together and it made Pearl get even more feelings for her and I guess Violet tricked her into thinking they were together.” Tatianna said as she looked back at Aja.

 

“Pearl finally came out and that's what she gets? That's so fucked up. Especially because everyone seen how much she was into Vi. Violet seemed like she was hella into her too. I can't believe this.” Aja rested their chin on their hand. 

“None of us can. She didn't deserve any of it.” 

 

“What else have I missed?” Aja asked.

“There's another transgender patient. They arrived about a month after you were let out of this place. Which reminds me, why would you want to come back here anyway?” Tatianna began to file her nails.

“I love this place for not discriminating against anyone. What's their name, I'd love to meet them. I came back to help out my friends and honestly, I missed this place.” Aja smiled. 

 

“Their name is Jinkx, can't miss them either, super ginger. I love it. I believe it, I went to my sisters for a week for my nieces birthday and I started to miss this place like an hour after I got to her house. It just feels more like home than anywhere else.” she continued with her nails.

“Hell yeah. Is that them?” Aja asked pointing towards Jinkx.

“Yep!” Tatianna sat up and smiled. “Jinkx! Come here sweetie.” She asked while waving at them. 

 

“Yes Tati?” Jinkx crossed their arms once they walked up to the counter. 

“This is Aja. They're one of the new staff and they wanted to meet you.” Tatianna smiled.

“Oh, hello. Wait, Courtney told me about you on my first day here. Very nice to meet you.” They smiled as they put their hand out to shake Aja's hand. 

“She your roommate?” Aja asked as they both shook hands. Jinkx nodded. “Yeah, she talked my ear off my first day too. Has she grown on you yet?” Aja laughed. 

 

“Yeah, I've been here a while now.” Jinkx smiled. “After meeting you, I feel more comfortable and more at home now.”

“Same here.” Aja smiled. 

“I knew you two would love to meet each other! I'm always right.” Tatianna laughed. 

“Since when?” Aja laughed with Tatianna. 

“They have a point.” Jinkx joined in laughing with the two. 

 

\------

_ “Pearl! I'm home!” Matt yelled up to his sister while putting the groceries onto the table. “Pearl? Amy? You guys home?” He asked as he started up the stairs. _

_ “Yeah! Sorry, I had my headphones on. Amy left shortly after you did.” Pearl smiled. “Need help?” _

_ “You really shouldn't have those in while you're home alone. How would you know if someone broke in? And of course I need help, I'm weak remember.” He laughed while thinking about his sister calling him weak when he dropped a box of cereal while putting groceries away last month.  _

_ “I'd find out as they come into my room and murder me.” She laughed. “Yes, very weak for someone who gets told they're a big strong man. I think Amy is lying to you.” She continued laughing.  _

 

_ After they finished putting the food away, they sat at the kitchen table catching up on each others day. _

 

_ “I think I'm going to knock my boss out. He wanted me to change three of his lightbulbs in his office while he was getting ready to change them himself. I always walk in at the wrong time.” Matt let out an annoyed sigh. _

_ “You should just tell him to fuck off. You work in an office, he could easily call someone for that instead of thinking you're his maid or some shit.” Pearl rubbed her brothers hand.  _

 

_ “I know, but I really need this job. Anyway, how was your day kid?” He asked smiling at Pearl. _

_ “Eh, about the same as usual. I got a B on my chemistry test, thanks for helping me study for it.” She gave him a thumbs up.  _

_ “No problem kid.” He smiled.  _

_ “We have a new kid too. She looked really lost so I helped her find her locker and classes. We have like four periods together.” She picked up an apple and bit into it.  _

 

_ “Oh cool, what's her name?”  _

_ “Hayley. Super nice too.” Pearl said while grabbing an orange since she was almost done with her apple.  _

_ “I always thought that name was pretty. Is she cute?” Matt asked while grabbing a banana. _

_ “Seriously Matt? You know I don't look at girls like that..”  _

_ “Right, sorry. Has that Alex guy ask you to homecoming yet?” He asked as he took a bite. _

_ “No, but I heard Frankie say he's been wanting to ask me.” Pearl smiled. _

_ “Him or Alex?” He asked confused. _

_ “Him. I wouldn't mind going with him though.”  _

 

_ They heard the front door open then close. _

 

_ “Hey guys! How are you both?” Amy asked joining them both, giving Pearl a hug then Matt.  _

_ “I'm good, weakling needed a break from putting food away so I was summoned to help.” Both Amy and Pearl laughed.  _

_ “What'd you do today babe?” Matt asked as he helped Amy onto his lap. _

_ “I had that doctor appointment, remember.” Amy smiled. “You know how I haven't been feeling good and throwing up a lot?” _

_ “Yeah, what did she say was causing it?” Matt asked as he rubbed her arm. _

_ “I'm pregnant!” Amy said as she jumped up.  _

_ “Yes!! I'm so happy for you!” Pearl jumped up and ran to hug Amy. _

_ “I'm going to be a dad! Hell yes!” After Pearl let go of the girl, he pulled his wife in for a kiss. _

_ \----- _

_ A few hours later, Pearl was laying on her bed listening to music while looking over Amy's instagram. She always found her super cute and perfect in every way. Then she seen a picture that had a very recognizable person in it. Amy knows Hayley.  _

 

_ As Pearl got ready for school the next morning, she tried to look as pretty as she could. She looked herself over two times in her full body mirror and fixed her skirt, she wanted the girl to notice her.  _

_ When she got to school, she seen Hayley was having a hard time with her locker so she went to help.  _

 

_ “Here, let me help. These lockers are so old, I'm truly surprised they haven't put new ones in.” Pearl wiggled the lock and it opened. “There ya go.” She smiled and was getting ready to walk away until Hayley stopped her. _

_ “You look really pretty. I love the skirt.” Hayley looked Pearl over again and bit her lip, causing Pearl to blush.  _

 

_ “Thank you, Amy got it for me. I think you two know each other.” Pearl smiled. _

_ “Amy Liaison?” Hayley asked as she started to get the books she needed for first period. _

_ “Yep! She's my sister in law.”  _

_ “No shit! She's told me about you!” Hayley said as she closed her locker and leaned against it.  _

 

_ “What did she say?” Pearl asked showing she was worried. _

_ “How perfect and beautiful. She also said you're an amazing artist. I agree with her on the first two, can't wait to find out about the third one.” Hayley smiled then headed for first period. _

 

**_P: Amy knows Hayley! She just told me!_ **

**_M: That Hayley?! Holy shit! She's the singer I was telling you about._ **

**_M: I'm sensing some blushing going on ;)_ **

**_P: Shut up lol. Don't you have lightbulbs to change?_ **

**_M: Brat_ **

**_P: Weak_ **

**_M: Alright, I'll let you win. Go learn something kiddo._ **

**_P: Love you._ **

**_M: Love you too_ **

_ \---- _

_ Hayley and Pearl became best friends fast. It's been about two months since they've met and they couldn't be happier finding each other.  _

_ As they were studying in Pearls room, they heard Amy running up the stairs happily yelling for Pearl. _

 

_ “Pearl! Pearl look! It's my little peanut! We had our first ultrasound today! Matt cried like a baby, but of course I cried too.” Amy smiled. _

_ “This is so cute! I can't wait to find out what it is so I can spoil the little peanut.” Pearl said as she kept looking at the ultrasound picture and smiling. _

_ “I'm so happy for you, Amy.” Hayley said as she smiled towards the woman.  _

 

_ After Amy left the room, closing the door behind her so the girls can study in peace, Hayley moved closer to Pearl.  _

 

_ “You okay, Hayley?” Pearl asked as she looked at the girl. _

_ “Yeah, I just can't concentrate.” Hayley gave a half smile. _

_ “Oh? What's distracting you?” Pearl asked hoping she could help. _

_ “You.” Hayley asked, moving Pearls notebook off of her lap and pulled the girl in for a kiss.  _

 

_ Pearl kissed back for a few seconds before slowly pushing Hayley away slightly and started to panic, they were still close to each others face. Hayley pulled her back in but this time Pearl moved back.  _

 

_ “No, I can't. I'm sorry, I just… I'm not…” Pearl looked at Hayley like she was begging for forgiveness. _

_ “I get it. I'm sorry, Pearl. I should probably be heading home anyway. I'll see you tomorrow.” Hayley stood up, put her stuff into her backpack and headed out of the room, running down the stairs and out the front door wiping tears from her face. _

_ “Hayley! Hayley wait!” Pearl ran after her, crying. “Stop! Please come back!”  _

 

_ Hayley stopped and turned to face Pearl. _

 

_ “Why? So you can give me even more mixed signals? Pearl, the way you've been towards me, how you act when we sleepover at each others houses, how you look at me. You were making it seem like you liked me.” Hayley turned back around, got on her bike and left.  _

_ Pearl watched as her friend rode away leaving her to cry and hurt.  _

 

_ Two weeks had gone by since they kissed and Hayley began to notice Pearl was acting unusual. _

 

_ “Pearl, are you okay?” Hayley asked as they were sitting on the grass during lunch. _

_ “Yeah, I'm fine.” Pearl said then bit into her apple. _

_ “Are you sure? You've been kinda weird since-” Hayley said as she reached for Pearls hand. _

_ “Since you kissed me? Yeah, I know Hayley. I just feel very uncomfortable, I'm not gay and you came at me like a bear. Sorry you haven't gotten the hint.” Pearl then stood up and walked away, leaving Hayley upset. _

 

_ A few hours later, Hayley headed for Pearls locker to apologize but seen she was kissing Alex. She felt her heart breaking each second.  _

_ When the two stopped kissing, Alex walked away and Pearl looked in the direction Hayley was standing and smiled.  _

_ During the kiss, Pearl noticed it didn't feel like it did when Hayley kissed her. It felt different, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She touched her bottom lip and closed her eyes and all she saw was Hayley looking at her the way she did before kissing her. Then she realized why it felt different. _

 

_ When Pearl got home from school, she said hi to Amy and went up to her room. She didn't know what to do. _

_ As she walked around her room trying to figure everything out in her head, she began to panic.  _

 

_ “I'm not gay, this isn't right. I shouldn't be feeling like this, I like guys. I like guys.” Pearl kept repeating until she sat on her bed.  _

 

_ This went on for weeks until she couldn't handle it anymore. She didn't talk to Hayley since the girl seen her kissing Alex. Ignored every text, phone call, and walked in a different direction Hayley was. Pearl thought this would help her from the feelings that were filling up her entire body.  _

_ She felt it was wrong and that it was bad when her heart would beat faster every time she seen the girl.  _

 

_ When she came home, she heard Amy and Matt talking in the room they were preparing for the baby. _

 

_ “Hey guys. I'll be in my room if you need anything.” Pearl said as she walked out of the room and headed for her own.  _

_ “Okay sweetie!” Amy yelled to the girl.  _

 

_ When she closed her bedroom door, she dropped her backpack onto her chair and pulled out the pills she had gotten from a kid who secretly sold them to anyone in the school that wanted them. She bought a whole pill bottle and opened it. Then she grabbed her razor blade she kept in her dresser drawer.  _

_ Pearl sat on her bed, took every pill then slit her wrist and dropped her arm back down. She stood there softly crying while the blood ran down her hand and onto her floor, she couldn't help but think how she went crazy from something she couldn't help but feel.  _

 

_ It took a minute for everything to affect her, then she dropped to the floor. Amy was the one who heard the loud thump coming from the girls room and went to check if everything was okay. When she got to Pearls door, she knocked waiting for Pearl to open the door or tell her to come in. When she didn't hear any movement she began to worry and walked in not expecting to see Pearl on the ground with blood coming from her wrist. _

 

_ “MATT! MATT!” Amy screamed as she ran to Pearl and dropped to her knees. _

_ “What is it, what's wrong?” Matt yelled as he ran to the girls room.  _

 

_ When he ran in, he seen his wife crying and holding onto Pearl with the girls upper body in her arms and lap. He ran to her side and began to cry. _

 

_ “Amy, call for an ambulance.” Amy ran out of the room and went to the babies room to use her phone to call. He grabbed his sister and continued sobbing as he held her. Looking around, he seen the pill bottle and razor blade on the floor, showing she meant to do this and strongly wanted it to work.  _

 

_ Amy slowly walked in holding her belly, upset that Pearl wouldn't be here to meet the baby like she was so excited for, and how the little peanut would never know their amazing, beautiful and loving aunt.  _

_ When she heard the ambulance arrive, she ran down to let them in. They quickly went up the stairs to get Pearl. Amy stayed downstairs too scared to see them load the girl onto the gurney. When she seen them coming downstairs, she ran outside and sat on the curb crying into her hands.  _

 

_ Matt followed them to the ambulance. _

 

_ “She has a pulse but we need to get her to the hospital fast.” the paramedic closed the ambulance door and put an oxygen mask on her.  _

 

_ Matt ran to his car and yelled for Amy to get in. She got up and ran to the car.  _

_ An hour went by when finally a doctor came out to talk to Matt. _

 

_ “We had enough time to save her. We stitched her wrist and pumped her stomach. She should be waking up soon. You can go in and see her now if you'd like.” the doctor led them to her room.  _

 

_ A week later, he called the number the doctor gave him. A few days later he watched his sister packing to leave with a woman named Sasha.  _

_ Amy hugged her tightly, not wanting her to go. Pearl hugged back then went on her knees, looking at the womans pink dress in front of her and smiled. She rubbed her belly. _

 

_ “I love you, peanut.” She kissed her belly and began to cry. Pearl stood back up, hugged Amy one more time, then hugged her brother. She knew he only wanted what's best for her and wasn't mad at him for doing this.  _

 

_ Amy told Hayley everything and watched as the girl broke down. The girls phone lit up and Amy seen Hayley had a picture of herself and Pearl as her lockscreen. She knew the girl loved Pearl and how this broke her heart just as much as it did for herself and Matt. _

_ \------ _

When Matt arrived to talk with Sasha, he had Amy and Belle with him. 

 

“Hello Matt, Amy. Hey cutie, you've certainly grown so much!” Sasha said as she hugged Belle.

 

Sasha walked them to her office. 

“Would you both be okay with Tatianna taking Belle outside to play? I'd rather her not hear any of this.” Both nodded and watched as Tatianna walked the young girl out to show her the flowers and pond. 

 

After Sasha told them everything that happened, she walked them to the room she shared with Katya. 

 

“Amy, could you go outside with Belle and Tatianna please. I want to do this alone, I'm sorry baby.” Matt said as he sat on the bed that once belonged to his sister. 

Amy gave him a soft smile and walked out of the room joining Sasha and both women walked outside.

 

As Matt started packing Pearls belongings, he seen a book she kept hidden in her dresser. It had something folded sticking out. He pulled it out and unfolded it. It was the picture they had Sasha take when they visited Pearl after Belle was born. 

Another picture fell out of the book and when he picked it up, he seen it was the picture they had Sasha take again but this time it was the one they had taken two days before she died. He sat on her bed running his fingers slowly over his sister and began to cry.

 

Amy sat next to Belle and watched as the girl played with a flower. 

 

“Mommy, where's auntie?” Belle asked still looking at the flower. 

 

The woman looked at Sasha and Tatianna not knowing what to say.

 

“She um, she went on a vacation sweetie.” Amy said as she rubbed her daughter's back.

“How long?” Belle asked as she looked at Amy.

“A long time..” Amy said as she looked out at the pond softly crying.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Belle said as she grabbed her hand.

“I just miss auntie, baby.” Amy smiled at her daughter so she wouldn't worry her.

“Me too mommy.” 

 

Both Tatianna and Sasha began to cry. Tatianna got up and began to walk away.

 

“Bye Tati!” Belle yelled after her causing the woman to turn around. 

“Bye honey!” Tatianna said before heading inside. 

 

Belle looked so much like Pearl it broke her heart. Beautiful blonde hair, gorgeous blue eyes. 

Amy didn't care at all that Belle looked more like Matt when she was born, but as she grew bigger and bigger she seen that she was starting to look like Pearl. 

 

Tatianna walked into Pearls room to check if Matt wanted any help and seen he was laying down sleeping, holding the pictures in one hand and holding one of the girls shirt close to his face. She closed the door, leaving it cracked so Amy knew he was still in the room. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hayley I'm referring to is Hayley Kiyoko and Amy is of course the lovely sugarpill princess, in case anyone was wondering. Also, I have gotten a few messages asking why I bold some things, it's to show lyrics of a song that is either from the character or one of the notes Bianca gets.  
> Enjoy!

“Wow. It's so beautiful out here.” Jinkx said.

“It really is.” Adore said grabbing their hand to hold. “I'm glad we're seeing it together.” she whispered to them.

“You got to see it a few weeks ago, let me have my moment you jerk.” Jinkx laughed and seen Adore smile. They squeezed her hand slightly.

 

“I know, but I'm still glad it's you I'm see all of this with.” Adore smiled at Jinkx, watching as they continued to look out the window and smiling.

 

“Hey, don't we count?” Bianca asked as she made a left turn.

“No.” Adore laughed.

“So mean to us!” Michelle laughed as she turned to look at the girl.

 

\------

An hour went by before they finally arrived at Royale Hospital.

 

“Are we being transferred? Please tell me we're not being transferred here.” Jinkx asked as they were starting to worry.

“No sweetie, you're not being transferred. Don't worry.” Michelle said as she hugged them.

“Then what are we doing here?” Jinkx asked.

“You'll see.” Bianca smiled.

 

As they headed inside of the hospital, they noticed it was similar to Michelle's. 

Jinkx and Adore looked around being distracted by all of the beautiful artwork on the walls. It was cut short when they heard someone walk up and began talking to Bianca and Michelle.

 

“Hey ladies! So glad to see you again!” She pulled them both in for a hug. “These must be the two you were telling me about!” She went up to them both to shake their hands. 

 

“Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Jinkx.” They shook the woman's hand.

“Hello, I'm Adore.” She shook her hand. 

“I'm Dr. Royale, it's lovely to meet you both. Welcome, I can't wait to show you something!” She said as she turned to the two women and led the four to the elevator.

 

Jinkx grabbed for Adore's hand and squeezed it tightly. 

 

“Jinkxy, are you okay?” Adore whispered to them.

“I'm terrified of elevators.” Jinkx then squeezed their eyes shut once it began to move.

“Come here.” Adore hugged Jinkx until it finally stopped and opened.

 

As they all exited the elevator, they noticed a nurses area and rooms similar to what they had at Visage Hospital, except these were different. 

They approached a room as a nurse walked out.

 

“All ready for them, Latrice.” The nurse smiled as she held the door open for the group to walk in. 

“Thank you Annie.” Latrice smiled. 

 

“Now, before we go in I just wanted the two of you to know that running isn't the best idea to do in here, but walking fast is okay as long as you pay attention where you're walking, please.” The two nodded. “Go on in.” The woman smiled as she moved to the side.

 

Adore and Jinkx both looked at Bianca and Michelle, seeing they were smiling. They held each others hands again as they slowly walked into the room, not expecting to see their surprise.

 

“Pearl.” They both said together.

 

Jinkx began to walk quickly to Pearls side, pulling Adore along. Pearl smiled at the two. 

Pearl was hooked up to everything like she was when Adore had seen her last. Since Pearl was unable to speak, she grabbed her whiteboard.

 

_ Hey guys, I've missed you so much!  _

 

_ “ _ We've missed you too! So so much!” Jinkx said as they moved some hair from the girls face.

 

_ Adore, after you left, they were able to start my heart back up again! I heard everything you told me too. _

 

Adore smiled at Pearl and was so happy seeing her friend finally awake and smiling.

Jinkx couldn't help but feel jealous.

 

_ What happened to Violet? _

 

“She was arrested and is now sharing a cell in prison.” Jinkx answered before Adore could. They noticed a sad look on Pearls face. “Pearly, you can't be sad about that. She nearly killed you, she's getting what she deserves.” 

 

Pearl gave a half smile but still felt Violet didn't deserve to still be in trouble since she's alive. It was clear to her that she still had love for the girl.

 

_ I know. _

 

“We know you can't help but love her, but Jinkx is right. You didn't deserve any of this to happen to you, at all.” Adore said.

 

_ She just snapped because of her moods changing.. She couldn't help it! _

 

“Was lying to you just so you would sleep with her a mood change too then? Because everyone is saying that was the worse thing she did to bait you into the situation you're in right now.” Jinkx said as they were starting to feel angry.

 

_ No.. You're right, but I still love her. _

 

“Pearl, I say this out of love, you'll get over it.” Jinkx said.

 

_ I'm sorry. I love you, Jinkx. _

 

“I love you too.” They held the girls hand and smiled.

\-----

“Jinkx wake up, we're here!” Adore said as she gently shook them. “Are you okay?”

 

Jinkx woke up and seen they were still in the car. They sat up and looked around confused. Adore then wiped their cheek of a tear, giving a small smile. 

 

“It felt so real. My dream felt so real. She was there right in front of us, alive and happy! Using her whiteboard to talk to us!” Jinkx began to cry more. “She was there!”

 

“B!” Adore yelled out her door that she opened before waking Jinkx up.

 

Bianca ran to the car as Michelle continued setting up their picnic on the beach.

 

“Jinkx is having a panic attack. Adore, I need you to get out of the car. Now!” Bianca yelled as Adore moved.

 

Adore watched as Bianca helped calm them down. Once she got them to calm down, they started to tell Bianca about their dream.

 

“It just felt so real Bianca. Why can't it be real?” Jinkx asked as they looked at the woman, tears still streaming down their cheek.

 

“I don't know dear. I wish that's what we were actually doing. I'm so sorry it was only a dream.” Bianca said pulling Jinkx in for a hug. “How do you know about that place though, Jinkx?”

“I seen it on my way to Michelle's.” Jinkx whispered.

 

\------

Blair was sitting at the front desk looking over the girls files when the buzzer rang meaning someone was waiting to be allowed inside the building.

 

“Oh! Okay, hang on!” She jumped up and pushed the button that opened the door. “Hello, how are you today?” She smiled as she grabbed the clipboard guests needed to sign. “I need you to sign this please, and I need your i.d as well.”

 

“I'm not the best, thanks. I'm actually here to join Matt Liaison in moving Pearl Liaison belongings.” Hayley said as she signed under Amy's name and handed the clipboard back to Blair.

 

“Oh! Let me just call Tatianna.” Blair said as she handed the girls i.d back. “Tatianna, we have someone here saying she's here to join Matt with Pearls things.”

“On my way.” Tatianna answered.

 

After a few minutes went by, Tatianna showed up and smiled at Hayley. She waved for the girl to follow her.

 

“Who the hell was that?” Hayley asked as they both headed for the patients corridors.

“New employee. Her name is Blair and already gets on my damn nerves.” Tatianna said as she unlocked the door to the area.

“Mine too.” Hayley said as she put her phone back into her pocket. 

 

Once they started to walk towards the girls room, Amy and Belle were walking back inside to Sasha's office. Belle looked over at the two and wiggled out of Amy's hand. 

 

“Auntie Hayley!” Belle yelled as she ran and jumped into the girls arms. 

“Hey pumpkin! How are you!” Hayley said as she hugged the girl.

“I'm great! We came to get auntie Pearls stuff while she's on vacation!” Belle said as she started to play with the womans hair.

 

Hayley looked towards Amy and seen the woman didn't know what to do either.

 

“Are you going on vacation all over the world again too?” Belle asked as she wiggled for Hayley to set her back on her feet.

“No, not for a while baby.” Hayley smiled. 

“Yay! More play time! I gotta go back to mommy so we can play with Sasha. I love you!” Belle said as she hugged Hayley again. She then ran back to Amy.

 

Both women walked to the room, Tatianna seen Matt was awake again but was sitting on the bed looking at the pictures. 

 

“Hey Matt.” Hayley said as she walked in and sat next to him. “She looks beautiful. Wait, is that my shirt?” Hayley pointed.

“Yeah, that's why I bought it from you. She wanted to support your music career, she always said how much she missed hearing you sing.” Matt smiled.

 

\----

_ Hayley walked into the visiting room and waited for Pearl to come in. She fixed her hair for the tenth time and made sure her crop top was covering her in the right ways and checked that her zipper wasn't down on her pants. Hayley always made sure she looked her best whenever she came to visit.  _

_ Once Pearl walked in, she jumped up waiting for Pearl to attack her with a hug like she always did.  _

 

_ “Hayley!” Pearl tackled the girl onto the couch with a hug. “I'm so happy you came!” she sat up and helped Hayley up also.  _

_ “Why would I miss coming here? You know I always come on Wednesday!” Hayley said as she rubbed the girls cheek.  _

 

_ Pearl thought Violet was the one helping her, when really it was Hayley.  _

 

_ “When is your tour starting?” Pearl asked as she cuddled up to the girl. _

_ “A few months. I need a break or my vocals will end up getting messed up again.” Hayley said as she began to run her fingers through the girls hair.  _

 

_ “That's good, that is the last thing you need to ruin what you have going on.” Pearl looked up at Hayley.  _

_ “Nah, losing you would.” Hayley said smiling at Pearl. _

_ “Don't worry, I won't be leaving you anytime soon.” Pearl didn't stop herself and kissed Hayley.  _

 

_ Once Pearl sat back up, she looked at Hayley and smiled as she seen Hayley was blushing hard.  _

 

_ “Holy shit, I was not expecting that. Why did you do that?” Hayley said as she touched her bottom lip. _

_ “I'm finally accepting my true self. I realized what I felt when you kissed me was real and I shouldn't have felt like it was wrong. I also think I'm in love with you.” Pearl said as she held Hayley's hand.  _

 

_ “I've been waiting for you to say that!” Hayley pulled Pearl back in for another kiss. “I.” “love.” “you.” “too.” Hayley said between each kiss.  _

 

_ Pearl smiled through each kiss knowing she was finally doing something right with her feelings. She knew she had some feelings for Violet, but they were never enough like they were for Hayley.  _

_ Violet didn't get her like Hayley did, she never understood her drawings the way the girl did. Hayley was her other half, her best half and she loved every piece of it just like she loved every part of Hayley. _

 

_ Hayley began to softly sing to Pearl as she laid her head on her lap, slowly running her hand through Pearls hair again.  _

_ Pearl sat up and looked at Hayley. _

 

_ “Let's take a selfie! You've literally had the same picture as your lock screen and wallpaper for years now. You need a new one!” Pearl said as she grabbed for the girls phone. _

 

_ An hour went by after they took their picture and they were cuddled up to each other again. Hayley was telling Pearl about her tour in the UK and showed her the pictures she took for the girl to see. _

 

_ “Sorry babes, but visiting hour is up.” Tatianna said as she seen how sweet they looked together.  _

 

_ “Hayley, can you come back in a few days please? I hate just seeing you once a week.” Pearl said as she stood up to hug Hayley.  _

_ “Of course!” Hayley hugged Pearl the kissed her before letting go.  _

 

_ As they both walked out of the room, they hugged one more time before Tatianna led Pearl back.  _

_ Pearl looked back to Hayley and waved before blowing her a kiss. _

 

_ “I love you.” Pearl whispered knowing Hayley would be able to read her lips.  _

_ “I love you too.” Hayley knew the same as Pearl.  _

 

_ Both of them didn't know that would be the last time they would see, hug, and touch each others skin again. _

 

_ \------ _

As Hayley kept looking at the picture, she kept hearing Pearl say  _ I love you  _ and it made her cry.

Matt hugged her and rubbed the girls back. He didn't know what happened during the girls visit but she was ready to tell him everything. 

 

While Hayley was telling Matt everything that happened, Katya accidentally overheard some of it  and went to talk with Trixie, who was with Ivy and trying to comfort her.

 

“I heard Pearls brother talking to a girl, Hayley I think he said, about her last visit with Pearl! She was saying that they kissed and Pearl told her that she loved her and she was the one who helped her see who she truly was and truly felt. It wasn't Violet who helped her from overcoming her phobia, it was Hayley!” Katya said as she paced around Ivy's room. 

 

“But why would she say Violet was the one who helped her see that?” Trixie asked.

“She must not have wanted anyone to know about her.” Ivy said looking at Katya.

“Hayley said she also knew about Violet and how Pearl kinda liked her.” Katya said as she sat down.

 

“Maybe Pearl did like Violet, but maybe she was also testing to make sure her feelings were right.” Ivy said.

“That could be it. Wait! I have an idea! Matt said he'll have to come back tomorrow to get the rest of her stuff, maybe he hadn't packed her journal yet. We could find everything out.” Katya said as she sat up smiling at the two girls.

 

“Wouldn't that be invading her privacy? I know she's gone but she still didn't want anyone else to read it. We should still respect that.” Ivy said as she stood up.

“Do you think her brother would have cared about that now? Don't you think he would want to know how she felt and everything.” Katya said. 

“Yeah, that's true. As long as we put it back after, I don't want him to miss it.” Ivy said.

 

After Matt and his small family left, the three girls went to the room. Katya knew nobody would ask any questions since it was her room.

Ivy and Trixie looked in the girls dresser and side table before Katya popped up with it.

 

“Where was it?” Trixie asked as she sat on Katya's bed. 

“I knew where she kept it. Under her mattress.” Katya said as she looked through the pages. “Okay, I think I found something.” She began to read it aloud for the other girls to hear.

 

_ Hayley came by for a visit today, she changed her hair color again which is nothing new. She's always changed it since the day I met her. That day was the best day of my life.  _

_ I can't wait to be out of this place so I can be with her again. Maybe even join her whenever she goes on tour.  _

 

_ I've been telling some of my close friends that Violet has been the one helping me through this but it's never been her. Yeah I like the girl, but she's done nothing to help me get over this. It's always been Hayley. I regret the day I blew up on her at lunch and ignoring her for weeks, she didn't deserve that. I will always regret attempting to kill myself over something so small. It was entirely selfish, not just for her but for Matt, Amy, and Belle. If I never tried, I wouldn't be here. I would be at home playing with peanut and spending time with my family, and possibly have a relationship with Hayley.  _

 

_ I feel selfish for trying to see how well I'd be as a girlfriend by using Violet as my test. I know she has some feelings if at all, towards me but she's the most cold hearted person here who doesn't care about anything and will have sex with anyone who asks. Like tonight. I slept with her as a test run just so I would know what to do. It was about as easy as she is.  _

_ I know this is all mean and fucked up, but she has said that she's done this before and didn't care about it at all.  _

 

_ Hayley is coming on Halloween and I can't wait to see her again.  _

 

“Oh my god. She was using Violet just to see how she would be in a relationship. I don't know if that's good or bad.” Trixie said.

“It's a good thing. Violet was using her to hide her own relationship.” Ivy said as she looked at the rest of Pearls things. 

“Pearl still didn't need to die over it though. Hell, she didn't even get to see Hayley again all because Violet got pissed at her.” Katya said as she closed the journal. 

“Yeah.” Both Trixie and Ivy said.

 

\-----

Hayley stayed the night at Matt's house, sleeping in Pearls room. Matt kept it the same as he hoped she would come home soon. Hayley heard Matt go out and into the backyard, she got up and went to join him. 

 

“Hey, can't sleep?” Hayley asked as she sat next to him.

“You know, I never thought I'd have to pack my sisters shit like this. Helping her as she moved out, yeah, but never because she was dead.” Matt said as he lit his cigarette. “Keeping it together for Belle today was the worst. She kept asking so many questions about her. When she'll be back home from her vacation and if she'll bring her back a teddy. I don't even know what to tell my own daughter about Pearl.” He began to cry. 

 

“You don't have to say anything yet, Matt. You still have time to tell her whenever you feel ready.” Hayley said as she rubbed his back.

“The funeral is in three days Hayley. I don't have much time.” Matt said as he blew the smoke out.

 

“Want to know something? You know how you've asked me about the necklace I started wearing since the day you told me about what happened to her but I've never told you what it was or even showed you and have kept it hidden under my shirts? Well, here it is.” Hayley said as she took off the necklace and handed it to Matt.

 

“You were going to give this to her?” Matt asked as he looked at the ring.

“Not the necklace, just the ring. I was planning on proposing to her on Halloween. Cute idea, not spooky of course. I was going to put it on top of a cupcake and have it ready for her when she'd walk in to see me. Now I wear it to remind me of the wife I would have fought for, died to have, done everything for. But now I can't.” Hayley wiped her cheek.

 

“I can put your last name on her headstone you know.” Matt said as he gave her back the necklace. 

“No, she was your sister and deserves her last name. Not mine.” Hayley put the necklace back on.

“I can put both, and I will. You guys were basically together anyway, just one step away from being each others wife. She's getting both put on it.” Matt said as he put his cigarette out. He looked at Hayley and smiled.

 

\-----

Bianca and the other three returned back to the hospital, each going to their own rooms and offices. Jinkx and Adore thanked the two women for getting them out for the day and were grateful for it all. 

Michelle told Adore that she will be sharing a room with Katya now, knowing Adore wouldn't want to stay in her room anymore. She still slept in the group room on the bed Sasha set up for the night Pearl passed.

 

As Bianca went into her office, she seen a note on the floor like the others were. Her feelings about Pearl being the one who wrote them were now erased as she read the new note.

 

**What kind of doctor can't even stop someone from being choked to death. You failed.**

 

Bianca crumpled the note in her hand, squeezing her eyes shut and then threw the note across the room. She then heard a knock on her door, opening it to see Adore waiting for her.

 

“Is this a bad time?” Adore asked as she seen the expression on the woman's face and the crumpled paper on the floor. 

“Yeah, actually. You should go enjoy free time.” Bianca said.

“That's what today was, but okay. I'll see you later, B.” Adore smiled then walked away.

 

Bianca closed the door and picked the note up. 

 

“Shit. It's happening again.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed Adores age just so this chapter is more appropriate for what she's going to do. 
> 
> Please know that some people have their own ways of mourning and helping themselves heal from a loss. 
> 
> Also this chapter has a small amount of smut and self harm. 
> 
> Remember you can also follow me at; daisy-lovely21 and dani-lovely. 
> 
> Enjoy!

~three days later~

Aja took over Blair's job in the front so she can see more of the hospital and try to get to know everyone better. She really wanted to make a friend and have someone to talk to. She knew Tatianna didn't like her already just by the way she'd look at her or talk to her. Aja was starting to like her more and always talked to her about anything, especially different types of fashion.

 

As she was walking down the hall she heard a door slam behind her and some footsteps, so she turned around.

 

“What.” Trixie asked.

“Oh, nothing. The door slamming scared me is all.” Blair said as she smiled nervously.

“Get used to it. Happens a lot around here. You must be new, I haven't seen you around here before.” Trixie began to put her hair in a bun.

“Yes! I started three days ago! I'm Blair, nice to meet you.” She smiled as she put her hand out for Trixie to shake.

 

Trixie looked at the girls hand before shaking it.

“Trixie. We'll see if you last long.” She said as she walked around her and headed for Adore and Katya's room.

“I'm going to be eaten alive. Great.”

 

Blair continued walking around until she needed to use the bathroom. As she walked in she heard some gaging and someone vomiting.

 

“Are you okay? Do you need me to get Bianca?” She asked as she walked up to the only closed stall.

“No! I...I'm okay!” Courtney yelled back as she flushed the toilet.

“Are you sure? I can quickly go and get her.” Blair turned and pointed towards the only doorway that led into the bathroom and out.

“I'm fine, really. Something in breakfast just didn't agree with me is all.” Courtney said as she washed her hands and began to brush her teeth.

 

Blair looked her over, smiled, then headed for a stall. She wanted to talk with Courtney more but when she walked out of the stall she found it empty. Blair let out a sigh, washed her hands and headed back for the hall where she bumped into Ivy, causing the girl to fall.

 

“Oh I'm sorry! I'm so clumsy today, I'm very sorry!” Blair said as she helped Ivy up.

“It's okay, I should have been paying more attention.” Ivy said as she stood up again. She looked Blair over and smiled. “You're the new nurse right? I'm Ivy.”

“Yes! I'm Blair.” She smiled back.

 

The two continued walking and talked about different things, like what they enjoyed most, things that soothed them, any subject they got on was a long and lovely conversation for them both.

Blair was so happy that she found someone who actually talked with her instead of just ignoring her or not even showing any interest to want to talk with her. She didn't even notice that they ended up outside and next to the flowers.

 

“Oh wow, these are beautiful.” Blair said as she smelled some of the flowers.

“Yeah, this is my favorite spot. They help me keep calm whenever I feel sad, angry, any bad emotion and help me to feel happy again.” Ivy said as she watched Blair pick one.

 

They continued talking until Michelle made an announcement over the intercom.

 

“Can I have Adore, Courtney, Ivy, Jinkx, Katya, and Trixie come to group please.”

 

“Oh, well that's me. I'll talk with you later.” Ivy smiled and waved as she walked back inside.

 

\------

“Now, we know what today is and I just wanted to remind you that we'll be leaving in an hour. Now would be the time to get ready.” Michelle said as she sat down.

“I'm not going.” Jinkx said as they looked down.

“Jinkx..” Adore said as she reached for their hand.

“I can't. I don't want to go and know that would truly confirm my best friend being gone.” Jinkx wiped their cheek.

“I'll be with you the whole time holding your hand, Jinkx.” Michelle said as she reached for Jinkx.

 

Jinkx hugged into Adore as they cried more, before Michelle was able to touch their arm.

 

“Jinkx, we'll all be there with you. You won't be alone, love.” Ivy said as she began to rub their back softly. Adore glared at the girl.

 

After a few minutes, Jinkx agreed to go with them as long as they can stay in their room for the rest of the day when they come back. Michelle agreed.

 

An hour went by and they all met Michelle, Sasha and Bianca in front of Sasha's office. They each had someone to take over their positions while they were gone so the other girls wouldn't be without supervision.

They each loaded into Michelle's van and headed for the funeral.

 

\------

“Why are we dressing up so much mommy? Are we playing princess and queen again?” Belle smiled as she fixed her dress.

“No, not today. Baby, daddy and I need to tell you something..” Amy sat on her knees to look at her daughter.

“Am I going on vacation too?” Belle looked confused.

“No.” Amy looked down trying to hold back her tears.

 

Matt walked in and sat next to his wife.

 

“Belle.. Do you know how you haven't seen auntie Pearl for a while?” the girl nodded. “Well.. It's because.. It's because she's an angel now.” Matt felt tears fill his eyes as he seen Belle's happy face turn into sadness.

“No! She can't be!” The girl screamed as she dropped to her knees. “She promised we would play princess and queen when we would see her.. Why did she pinky promise if she was going to be an angel, daddy?” She sobbed into Matt.

“She didn't know she was going to be one, baby. It was an accident. She never would have broken that promise if she were still here. You know that.” He ran his hand through her curls.

 

Amy watched as she softly cried.

Belle looked up at Matt and Amy until she seen a picture in a frame she and Pearl made together during their last visit. She painted it pink and Pearl glued a small seashell in the top left corner and bottom right corner. Pearl wrote _Queen Belle_ on the top and _Princess Pearl_ by Belle's demands.

The picture was the both of them. Belle in her lap with her arms around her neck hugging onto her aunt as Pearl had her arm around the girls waist, both wearing tiaras and smiling at the camera. Belle was wearing her favorite pink dress with white tights underneath, and since the girls at the hospital could wear their own clothes, Pearl wore a pink shirt and white skinny jeans to match her niece.

 

Amy looked in the same direction as Belle and smiled. She knew Belle loved the picture and loved it even more because it was in the frame they made together.

Matt stood up and picked Belle up and held her in his arms as the three of them headed downstairs and to the car.

 

\------

After the funeral, Jinkx sat under a tree as they wrapped their arms around their knees and cried.

Adore walked up to them wiping her cheeks of the tears she couldn't stop.

 

“Jinkx? Do you want me to sit with you or do you want to be alone?” Adore asked softly. Jinkx looked up and patted the ground next to them for her to sit. “You look beautiful in that dress. Pearl would have loved it.” Adore said as she pushed a hair away from their face.

“She's seen it before. She had me model it for her when she seen it in my dresser. It was her favorite.” Jinkx whispered as they pushed their legs down and fixed the bottom to cover their knees. “I miss her.”

“I know.” Adore said as Jinkx leaned into her.

 

Ivy watched the two under the tree and began to feel jealous, knowing it was wrong to feel considering where they were. She wished it was her in Adore's spot.

 

\--------

When they arrived back to the hospital, the group went to change and the three women sent the women who took over, home.

Adore went to Bianca's office so she wouldn't be alone.

 

“Adore, not now.” Bianca said as she opened her office door. “I can't even think straight and not in the mood for you.”

“Wow. That was rude. I just don't want to be alone right now and thought you'd be okay with me chilling with you.” Adore looked down.

 

The woman looked Adore over and moved to let her in.

 

“Are you freezing? It's cold and you're wearing a sweatshirt and shorts.” Bianca asked while sitting down.

“I have my socks on too.” Adore jumped onto the office bed.

“Yeah. Thigh high ones won't keep you warm.” Bianca laughed causing the girl to smile.

“I didn't come here to be lectured on my clothes, B.” Adore laughed.

“Hey, meet me in my room. Here's the key and don't let anyone see you go in.” Bianca stood up and handed the girl her keys.

“Okay.” Adore grabbed the keys and walked out.

 

Jinkx sat on their bed wearing their sweatshirt and underwear. Their first aid kit next to them and held the scalpel they stole from under Adore's mattress. They looked down at their inner thighs and stared at the cuts they added just a few weeks ago, then slowly began to add more. One by one.

Once they finished, they used the alcohol wipes and cleaned the blood off of each one then bandaged each of them. When they heard a knock on their door they jumped.

 

“Jinkx?” A soft voice said.

“Don't come in! Hang on a second!” They yelled back as they quickly stuffed the scalpel under their mattress and put their first aid kit back into it's usual spot everyone had theirs, on top of their nightstands.

 

They grabbed some sweatpants and quickly jumped into them squeezing their eyes shut as the quickness was causing their thighs to rub against each other making the numbness turn into shooting pain throughout their body. They finally opened their door and seen Ivy at the door.

 

“Are you okay? I heard a lot of commotion.” Ivy said as she looked at Jinkx.

“Yeah, just couldn't find my pants. I didn't want to just open my door without pants on again.” They laughed nervously.

“That was pretty funny the last time you did though.” They both laughed at the memory. “Could I come in?” Ivy asked as she looked down then back at Jinkx.

“Sure.” They moved so Ivy could walk in.

 

Ivy closed the door and joined Jinkx on their bed.

 

“Look, I'm sorry I haven't been the best or nicest friend to you in quite a while. You didn't deserve it. I should have been with you everyday after everything and I'm so sorry I wasn't.” Ivy held their hand.

“It's okay. I'm sorry I yelled at you.” Jinkx looked at the girl and seen something sparkle in her eyes.

“I've also lied to you.” Ivy looked down at their hands.

“About what?” Jinkx asked.

“About Courtney. I was so scared of what you were going to say that I lied to keep myself from being hurt but ended up hurting you with my lie.” Ivy felt Jinkx squeeze her hand a bit.

“Why didn't you tell me that sooner, Ivy?” Jinkx asked starting to feel anger bubble in their stomach.

“I don't know.. I got scared to tell you even more when you began to ignore me and block me out.” Ivy said looking back at Jinkx.

 

Jinkx felt bad that the girl tried to tell them everything and all they did was ignore her.

 

“I just wanted a chance to-” Ivy was cut off by Jinkx pulling her in to kiss her.

 

They were both caught in the moment and didn't even notice or hear Trixie walk in before quickly walking back out and shutting the door gently.

Ivy laid down pulling Jinkx with her without stopping their kiss. She ran her hands up their arms and onto their back rubbing up and down, then up to their hair where she balled some of their hair into her fist hearing Jinkx make a noise that sounded like a squeak.

 

\-------

Adore was able to get into Bianca's room without being noticed. She waited for the woman to come join her as she sat on her bed running her hand over the soft blanket. When Bianca arrived she seen Adore laid out on top of her bed running both hands over the blanket on each side of her with one leg hanging off of the bed and the other bent so her knee was in the air and her foot resting on the bed. She locked her door.

Adore heard Bianca walk in and she sat up putting her weight on her elbows. She noticed the look on Bianca's face was the same as when they kissed on her birthday.

 

“Jeez, way to take forever.” Adore smiled, biting her lip.

“I, um, I had to put some things back in the cabinets that the other doctor didn't put away.” Bianca said as she watched Adore move to sit on her knees. Each spread so her ass was on the bed.

“You sound distracted, B.” Adore smiled knowing exactly what she was doing to the woman.

“Yeah.” Bianca said as she breathed out.

 

Adore pulled at her sweatshirts ties and bit her lip again. Bianca felt like she was going to melt on to her floor. She walked slowly to her bed. Adore sat up so she was face to face with Bianca.

Bianca felt her body fill with goosebumps and loved it.

 

“Am I distracting you?” Adore whispered. Bianca nodded. “Good.” She slowly pulled Bianca in for a kiss.

 

Bianca pulled Adore in closer and wrapped her hands in her hair. Adore reached to unclip Bianca's hair from the clip holding it in place then ran her hands down to the zipper of her dress and slowly began to unzip.

Bianca pulled away from the kiss to remove Adore's sweatshirt and pull her own dress off. When she removed her sweater she seen the girl was wearing nothing underneath. She looked up and seen Adore was smiling. Bianca looked back down and bit her lip. She laid Adore down softly, kissing her neck and began to run her fingers down her body slowly as her other hand held her up so she wouldn't fall on to her, hearing the girl gasp.

 

Adore reached behind Bianca's back and unclipped her strapless bra and threw it across the room. She didn't notice that was all Bianca wore under her dress.

Bianca ran her hand down to the waistband of her shorts and Adore quickly pulled them off. Both Adore and Bianca had something in common. Nothing underneath. Adore made B lay on her back so she could sit on top of her lap, legs on each side of her.

Bianca looked Adore over and bit her lip as she began to run her hands up to Adore's chest. Adore put her hands over hers, closing her eyes and put her head back as if she were looking at the ceiling. Bianca ran her hand up to Adore's shoulder and pulled her back down to kiss her. She felt Adore run her hand down her chest and the girl lift herself just a little bit so she had a better space to touch where Bianca wanted.

 

“Remember, we have to be quiet.” Adore whispered into Bianca's ear before pushing into, her hearing Bianca breathe in sharply.

 

\-------

Trixie went back to her room and listened against the door before walking in and heard slight snoring. She walked in and seen Ivy curled into Jinkx’ side with her head on their chest, both sleeping. Trixie smiled at them before grabbing her sweater to join Katya outside.

 

Once Trixie sat down next to Katya, she pulled the smiling girl into her lap wrapping her arms around her waist as Katya wrapped her arms around Trixie's shoulders.

 

“I love you.” Trixie whispered, causing Katya to quickly look at her with a surprised look on her face. They both haven't said this to each other in a long time.

“I love you too.” Katya kissed her, feeling Trixie smile.


	17. Chapter 17

“Chachki to visiting room 4.” A loud man's voice announced over the intercom.  
“Shit. I'll be back.” Violet said as she got up and looked towards a girl who was obviously under her spell. 

Violet walked quickly to the room hoping it was her mother or brother, but when she got there she seen a man she's never met before.

“Are you sure this is the right room?” Violet asked the guard.  
“Yep. Now go.” The guard turned back to his newspaper.

“Uh, do I know you?’’ She sat in a chair across the table.  
“You could say that. You knew my sister quite well though.” He said as he pushed over a picture. “See?”  
“How did you get this?” She asked as she looked at the picture bringing her hand to her mouth in shock.  
“Found it when I was packing my sisters shit thanks to you.” she looked up and seen his face starting to turn red from anger. “I'm Matt. That girl right there, the one who called you her best friend every single time I went to see her, the one you killed over selfish reasons, my fucking sister!”

“Hey! Do I need to take you out of here?” The guard asked as he glared at Matt who was shaking his head. “Then cool it.”

Violet felt tears in her eyes as she looked back at the picture of herself and Pearl from the polaroid camera Sasha had. They took it the week before everything happened. Smiles big and love in each others eyes. It was a perfect picture.

“Why did you bring this?” Violet sniffled as she softly ran a finger over Pearl.   
“Why did you kill her?” Matt asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
“I… I snapped. I don't even remember wanting to go that far, I didn't even want to choke her in the first place. Hitting her was the only thing I planned on doing. Adore hitting me was what brought me back to reality and seeing what I'd done.” She didn't look up.  
“Really? You told the police a different story. Claiming she deserved it. Did you think I wouldn't have found that out?” He tapped his finger on the table.

“Look, I didn't know what I was saying or thinking. I'm sorry okay! I lost her too and it's my fault.” Violet looked up as tears streamed down her face.  
“You're so full of shit! You wanted her out of the picture! What, were you jealous of her or something? At least you didn't have to plan a funeral and watch her casket go into a hole and know that would be the last time you would say goodbye!” Matt yelled as he grabbed the picture.   
“Yes I was! She had everything! I wanted all of it. Please let me keep that! I want to remember her!” Violet begged.  
“No. You can remember her fighting for her life as you took it from her. Think of how my daughter keeps asking for her aunt every fucking day and not knowing what to say. She watched Pearl be lowered into the ground all because of you. You can live with that memory for the rest of you're sad sad life. At least I know she fought hard due to all of the scars on your arms and that big one on your face. Bitch.” He picked up the picture and walked out. Leaving Violet to cry alone. 

\--------  
Ivy woke up to see Jinkx was gone. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. As she looked around the room, she seen a note with a flower drawn on it. Knowing where they were now, she headed for their spot.  
As she got closer, she seen them sitting closer to the pond with their back to her and their hood on but some curls still escaping and blowing in the wind. 

“Hey. When did you get up?” She asked as she sat next to them.   
“About an hour ago. I didn't want to wake you so I just came out here. Did you sleep well?” Jinkx asked as they continued tossing some fish food into the water.  
“I slept great actually. I don't even remember the last time I slept that well. What about you?” She asked as she grabbed some fish food herself.  
“I sleep all the time, but I feel the same as you do. It was nice.” Jinkx looked at Ivy and smiled. 

“I was thinking, maybe Sasha could let us sleep in the group room again knowing we need each other to get through this. We could sleep together again, be each others comfort.” Ivy held their hand.  
“Maybe. She might say no though.” They squeezed her hand from the throbbing on their thighs.  
“Are you okay?” She asked concerned.  
“Yeah, I'm fine.” They tried to sound like they weren't in pain. Rubbing at their thigh.  
“What's wrong?”

Ivy went to put her hand on their thigh but Jinkx pushed away and stood up.  
“I'm sorry, I'll be right back.” Jinkx ran to go inside.

Ivy sat and watched Jinkx run away and felt something in her gut that made her worry and concerned more than she already was. She ran inside seeing Blair looking in the direction of the bathroom.

“Blair! Have you seen Jinkx?” Ivy asked as she ran up to the girl, already out of breath.  
“They just ran into the bathroom. Is everything okay?” Blair asked as she started to grab her walkie.  
“Yeah! They just forgot something and I need to go give it to them.” She seen Blair move her hand back into her pocket. “Thank you for helping!”  
“Oh okay! Let me know if you need me!” Blair yelled after Ivy ran towards the bathroom. 

Ivy finally got to the bathroom and seen only one stall was closed then heard some grunting and tearing like a bandaid was being ripped open. Before she could say their name she seen a bandage drop slightly under the stall door, covered in blood and ran to the door. 

“Jinkx! Jinkx open the door sweetie.” Ivy continued knocking on the door. “Please open the door!” 

Jinkx finally gave in and opened the stall door letting her in. Ivy seen their pants were dropped down and three bloody bandages laying on any flat surface they could reach.   
Jinkx was holding on to their thigh trying to get one to stop bleeding. Before they were able to say anything, Ivy grabbed a handful of toilet paper and had them hold it over the bleeding. Jinkx began crying from the pain it was causing them and from the help she was desperately trying to do.

“Get Bianca please. I need her.” Jinkx said between each breath.  
“O-okay! I'll be right back! I promise!” Ivy gave Jinkx a quick kiss on the cheek and ran for Bianca's office. 

Ivy started knocking on her office door before pounding on to it. Tatianna ran up to Ivy pulling her away from the door so she could open it. They both found the room empty so Tatianna did what she had to do and called for Bianca on her walkie.

“Bianca! Bianca we need you now! Bianca!” Tatianna yelled. When she received no answer she repeated. 

Bianca finally woke up after Tatianna tried a third time. Adore had her leg over her waist and her arm across her chest holding on as if she were cuddling a teddy bear.   
Bianca quickly removed Adore off of her and grabbed her walkie. 

“Yes! Yes I'm here. What's wrong?” She asked as she was jumping into her jeans and grabbing a shirt.   
“We have a code orange!” Tatianna yelled back. 

The walkie made a loud noise which caused Adore to wake and sit up. She seen Bianca clipping her hair back and running out of the room, slamming the door behind her.   
Adore sat there pulling the blanket up to her chest. She knew she had to hurry up and get dressed and sneak out before someone comes in and sees her. She put her shorts and sweatshirt back on, grabs Bianca's brush to quickly put her hair in a bun and cracks the door to see if anyone was around. 

When she thought it was clear and started to slip out, she jumped at someone talking behind her. 

“Wow. You are not sneaky at all.” Aja said as they crossed their arms causing Adore to stare at them with her eyes as wide as a deer in headlights.

“Aja please, stop.” Adore said as she pulled Aja to the side. “I don't want to get her in trouble!”  
“Did you forget the new security cameras and that there's one facing each of the staff's rooms?” Aja pointed around.   
“Shit!” Adore panicked.  
“What were you doing in there? Judging by your smeared lipgloss and the glow on your face along with the sparkle in your eye plus the fact that your shorts are on backwards, I'd say you got laid.” Aja pointed at each place they mentioned.   
“Please Aja, don't say anything.” Adore grabbed their hands.  
“How are you going to get passed it on the-” Aja was cut off.

“Delano! My office. Now!” Michelle yelled towards their direction.   
“Fuck.” Adore whispered.   
“Good luck.” Aja said rubbing her shoulder as they walked away. 

As Adore sat in the chair across from Michelle, she seen the screen with her paused at Bianca's door before she walked in. 

“What the hell were you doing with her key? You know you're not allowed to go in any of our rooms. Especially alone and with our key!” Michelle slammed her fist onto her desk.  
“I needed to talk with her, she was putting things away in her office so she lent it to me so I could meet her.” Adore said lowly.   
“Really. For two hours? She knows the rules and smart as hell. Why would she do that? You guys could have went to group and talked. I'm not believing your story at all Adore.” Michelle crossed her arms.   
“I'm not lying Michelle! I should have known better, you're right. I just got so caught up in my head and was not thinking at all. I'm sorry, please don't fire her.” Adore's lip began to quiver.  
“I'm not going to fire her. But you are on suspension and not allowed to see her unless it's a health problem and ONLY in her office. I'll be speaking with her as well. Now go.” Michelle pointed towards the door as Adore stood up.

\-------  
Bianca ripped her shirt off then wrapped and tied it around their thigh so she could rush them to her office. Ivy quickly took off her jacket and handed it to Bianca to put on so she wouldn't get in trouble for being in her bra. She held the shirt in place until Bianca was ready to pull them out of the bathroom and to the office.   
Once they got inside she quickly placed them on the bed and seen Jinkx was close to fainting so she kept talking to them to try and keep them awake.   
She cut the shirt off of them and began to pour alcohol onto their wound and started to press on it with a towel. 

“Ivy! Go clean up that stall, throw everything away and grab their pants! Quickly!” Bianca yelled watching Ivy run out. “Jinkx, hey Jinkx. Come on stay awake please. I need you to stay awake.”

Ivy ran back holding their pants and threw them onto a chair. 

“Here, hold this!” Bianca told Ivy as she turned to grab a kit that held everything she needed. “Okay, move.” She said as Ivy stepped back. 

Bianca pulled out what she needed to stop the bleeding and for the stitches she'll have to give.   
“Jinkx, I can't give you the shot to numb you so I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do. Just know I love you!” She began.   
“Shouldn't they go to the hospital Bianca?” Ivy asked as she ran to Jinkx’ side to hold their hand.  
“I've dealt with this the day before I came here. I can do this.” Bianca said as she paid close attention.

Jinkx bit their bottom lip giving out a muffled scream and squeezing Ivy's hand. They kept moving their leg from the pain which was causing Bianca to miss each time. Bianca stopped to grab her walkie and called for Aja and Tatianna.   
Due to how Bianca sounded, the two ran in quickly and seen what was happening. Aja closed the door behind them.

“Aja, hold their legs and try to keep them still! Tati, try to hold their shoulders to keep them from moving around but don't force them! Ivy, keep holding their hand, if they break your hand I'll fix it!” Bianca demanded and went back to what she was doing. 

Jinkx started to scream and tried their hardest to escape the grips on their shoulders and legs. The pain was the worst they've ever felt. 

“Fuck this!” Bianca ran to the cabinet she kept medicine in and grabbed what she needed for numbing, then went into a drawer and grabbed a syringe from it's package. She loaded the syringe with the medicine and ran back to push it into their thigh a few inches above the wound. 

“FUUUUUCCCKKK BIANCA!” Jinkx screamed out.  
“I'M SORRY! BUT I CAN'T STITCH THIS WITH YOU MOVING LIKE THIS!” Bianca yelled back. 

The medicine kicked in quickly causing Jinkx to lay there looking at Ivy, tears still coming from their eyes.   
Tatianna and Aja both stepped back and watched Bianca finish.   
Once she finished, she put a bandage over the stitches making sure it won't stick to them. She washed her hands, grabbed a thin washcloth and an ice pack. Once she wrapped it, she walked back to them and set it on the bandage. She heard the whimpers coming from Jinkx and covered them with the blanket that was on the foot of the bed. 

“What the fuck were you thinking? What did you even use Jinkx?” Bianca asked as she rubbed some hair from their face. She had Ivy sit down do she could talk to Jinkx.   
“It's under my mattress.” Jinkx said as they closed their eyes. “You'll find it.” 

Bianca looked at Tatianna motioning for her to go look and bring it.   
A few minutes went by and she came back holding an almost blood dried scalpel. She handed it to Bianca and went to wash her hands.   
Bianca looked at the symbol on it and seen it was the same one as the hospital she went to with Sasha and Adore. 

“Adore..” Bianca said as she looked at Jinkx.  
“She didn't give it to me, I stole it from her. I seen her stuff it under her own mattress and when she wasn't around, I went and got it.” Jinkx said softly as they opened their eyes to look at Bianca.   
“Tatianna, could you please get Adore.” Bianca kept looking at Jinkx, rubbing their cheek.   
“Yes ma'am.” Tatianna walked out closing the door behind her. 

Tatianna didn't have to look far, she seen the girl slowly walking down the hall from Michelle's office. 

“Adore, Bianca needs you in her office right away. Come on.” Tatianna put her hand out watching as Adore wrapped her hand into hers.   
“Okay.” The two quickly walked into the office. “Oh fuck, what happened?” Adore asked as she looked around and seen several things with blood still on them.   
“This. This is what happened.” Bianca let go of Jinkx and walked towards Adore holding up the scalpel.   
“Why did you steal this? Do you know what this just caused? Jinkx stole it from under your mattress shortly after we came back, Adore! Do you even know what caused Jinkx to even be brought here?” Adore shook her head. “Slitting their wrist and since they got ahold of this, they've been harming themself because of your irresponsible actions!” Bianca was inches from Adore's face.

Jinkx began to cry as they listened to everything. Ivy quickly ran to their side trying to sooth them.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know! I didn't mean for them to get it or for this to happen.” Adore said lowly, almost as a whisper as she began to cry.  
“Your dumbass actions could have caused something much worse than stitches to their leg Adore! I have no choice but to tell Michelle and put your ass on suspension where you'll be put in either the white room or in the suspension room where you'll be away from everyone for two weeks.” Bianca backed away and crossed her arms.   
“I'm already on suspension.. But do what you need to do.” Adore looked at Bianca then to Jinkx. “I'm sorry Jinkxy.” Adore then walked out.

\-------  
Courtney walked around outside looking for things to do when she seen Blair sitting at the pond. 

“Is it okay to join you?” Courtney asked politely.  
“Oh yes!” Blair said as she smiled up to Courtney.  
“How are you enjoying this place so far? Is it what you thought it'd be?” Courtney picked at the grass.  
“Not really, but I'm liking it so far. Some people are rude towards me but I'm getting over that. I've met several nice people as well though.” Blair looked back to the water.  
“Yeah, I've kind of noticed that. I'm sorry people are rude to you. It'll wear off sooner than you think though.” Courtney held her hand.  
“Thank you. Your accent is beautiful, may I ask where you're from?”   
“Originally from Australia, but we moved here when I was 10.” Courtney laughed.  
“That's amazing!” Blair perked up.

An hour went by and Blair headed back inside to check on things. She seen Tatianna sitting by herself in the nurses quarters and decided to join her. 

“Hi! How is your day going?” Blair asked as she sat in the chair next to her.   
“Pretty shitty.” Tatianna answered without putting her magazine down.  
“Oh, I'm sorry. I'm having a rough day as well.”   
“Didn't ask, but that sucks.” Tatianna said flipping to the next page.  
“I was actually hoping that maybe we could talk, get to know each other!” She smiles.  
“Fine. You're lucky you're cute.” Tatianna replied as she put her magazine down and turned to face the girl.   
“Oh thank you! But, I don't swing that way..” Blair said nervously.   
“Okay? Never been called cute by a girl before?”   
“No. Pretty, yes but not cute.” Blair smiled.   
“I see.”

After an hour of talking, Blair began to grow on Tatianna. They shared laughs, stories about some of the girls, anything and everything. 

“Hey, how about later tonight you come over. We can talk some more but actually be more comfortable instead of on these ass killers.” Tatianna said as she shifted in her chair.   
“I'd love too!” Blair smiled.   
“Okay great! What time does your shift end?”   
“At 7!” Blair perked up again.  
“Perfect, mine ends at 7:30 so you'll have time to change and stuff. Meet at my room around 8?” Tatianna wrote down her room number and what time they will meet.  
“Okay!” Blair read the note and put it safely in her pocket.

\-------  
“Kat, we can't be doing this. We'll get into so much trouble.” Trixie said as she tried to sit up.  
“Shh.. No we won't. Michelle is out on a lunch date, Sasha has counseling appointments all day, Bianca is busy. We're fine.” Katya smiled before pushing Trixie back onto her bed kissing her. 

Trixie rolled Katya over so her back was on the bed now. Katya wrapped her legs around Trixie's waist as she pulled her shirt off before her own. Once she got the girls shirt off she reached for the bra.   
When they finally got each other's clothes pulled off and into a pile on the floor, Trixie put a blanket over herself and began to kiss Katya down her chest. She started to tease Katya by kissing her lower stomach but not going any further, laughing at the frustrated noises that came from her. When she gave in, she didn't go fast like Katya was begging for her to do, she went slowly knowing it was driving her crazy.   
Katya covered her mouth to try and keep her moans quiet and gripped her hand into Trixie's ponytail. 

“Trixie! I-” Katya was cut off by the door slamming against the wall.

Trixie stopped but didn't move. She kept herself underneath the blanket and stayed as still as she possibly could. 

“Oh woah, sorry. If you're going to get yourself off, at least lock the door. Nice tits.” Adore said as she changed out of her sweatshirt, not even trying to hide that she wasn't wearing a shirt or bra.  
“Oh, thanks. Ahhh!” Katya tried to keep from making it obvious that she wasn't the one getting her off by keeping her hand under the blanket and gripping harder onto Trixie's hair.   
“Are you okay dude?” Adore asked as she began to laugh as she walked to her dresser to find a shirt. “Are you sure you're doing it right?”  
“Yep! Perfectly sure.” Katya bit her lip.  
“Don't mind me, you can keep at it. I'm almost done.” Adore finally picked out a shirt and pulled it on. 

“Th-ah!-thanks.” Katya pulled harder, causing Trixie to go faster and push her two fingers in slowly, driving the girl crazy.   
“Have fun bubbles. Later Trixie!” Adore said as she headed for the door laughing.   
“Bye!” Trixie yelled back.

After she left and closed the door, Trixie pushed each of Katya's thighs further apart. Her left hand gripped harder on Katya's right thigh each time she pulled her hair during her talk with Adore. She held her grip while she was changing her pace with her tongue, quickly then agonizing slow, repeat. She kept the pace of her fingers slow but began to go faster.   
Katya was pulling so hard she was afraid that she'd pull a big chunk of her girlfriends hair out. Keeping herself quiet was a lot harder than the last time they had sex but knew she had to keep quiet if they ever wanted to be able to be alone again. As she grew closer and closer she pulled the pillow from under her and put it over her face to let out a moan that could be replaced as a scream. 

Trixie smiled knowing Katya will be glowing tremendously and weak in her legs for the rest of the night. She moved the pillow off of her face and licked Katya's body back to her lips and kissed her, the blanket moving down her body.   
Katya roughly pulled Trixie in kissing her hard. Her breathing was still fast as if she was running out of air but didn't stop. 

“Come on. Your turn.” Katya said pulling Trixie back by her hair.   
“Nuh uh. That was only yours. Plus, I came the same time you did.” Trixie smiled then laughed.   
“Aw, I wanted to do it!” Katya crossed her arms.  
“You did you idiot.” Trixie laughed again at her pouting girlfriend. “I think it's time for a shower.   
“I'll try not to attack you.” Katya said as she kissed Trixie's forehead noticing the expression on Trixie's face went from happy to sad. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.” Katya hugged her and Trixie smiled.   
“It's okay now. I'm just sad that we can't have hot shower sex.” Trixie did her famous scream laugh.

Both girls were a sweaty mess and knew they both needed one so they quickly changed back into their clothes. Katya grabbed her shower caddy then followed Trixie to get hers.   
With a security guard waiting next to the entrance to the bathroom, they knew they wouldn't get away with a second round even if they tried. Both girls took quick showers so they could spend time together before med rounds and bed. 

\-----  
Blair arrived at Tatianna's room at exactly 8 like she was told. She quickly fixed her hair before knocking, she didn't want to look like a mess.   
When Tatianna opened her door Blair couldn't help but look her over and smile. She wasn't expecting her to look so good. The crop top showed how fit her stomach was and her black shorts hugged her thighs nicely. She suddenly felt like she didn't fit in with her short sleeve PINK shirt and jean shorts that didn't do her thighs justice like Tatianna's did. 

“Come in, it's fine. Staff are allowed to visit other staff. The girls are the ones who are not allowed to unless they have permission by Michelle and set time arrangements.” Tatianna moved to the side so Blair could walk in. “You look cute, shit um pretty, sorry.”   
“Oh no, it's okay.” Blair said as she looked around the girls room. “Thank you. I need to start getting used to be calling cute now, right?” She looked at Tatianna and smiled.   
“Yeah, you'll be hearing it more.” Tatianna walked over to her small kitchen area and grabbed two cups. “Would you like something to drink?” Blair nods. “Tea? Coffee? Soda? I have it all.” 

“Any alcohol?” Blair asked sitting at one of the kitchen tables.  
“Depends what kind you want.” Tatianna opened a bottom cabinet showing Blair her collection.   
“Vodka please.” She smiled.  
“Just straight or something with it?” Tatianna pulled the bottle out and set it on the table.   
“And a few ice cubes.” Blair went to grab the bottle but Tatianna stopped her noticing tears in her eyes.   
“Are you okay?” Tatianna sat next to her. 

“I changed my mind, I shouldn't have that. I'm sorry, I'll just take a coke if you have it.” Blair wiped her cheek.   
“Coming right up. I know it's not business to ask but are you pregnant, is that why you shouldn't have it?” Tatianna began to put three ice cubes into the cup and poured the coke in after.  
“Oh no. I'm a year sober and trying to stay is very hard.” Blair looked to Tatianna with blurry eyes.  
“Oh honey. I'm so sorry! That's amazing and so strong that you stopped yourself, that's huge.” Tatianna quickly put both alcohol bottles back in her cabinet followed by the lock she kept on it.   
“Thank you.” Blair gave a small smile and took a sip of her drink.

After an hour of talking at the table they moved onto her bed since she didn't have a couch or comfortable chairs yet. The girls realized they had more in common than they expected. 

“I'm sorry I was a bitch to you these past few days, I just don't do well with new staff. I always get nervous that I'll be replaced or something.” Tatianna said looking into Blair's eyes.   
“It's okay, I didn't expect anyone to like me right away.” Blair smiled as she took her last sip from her glass.  
“I don't see why or how anybody could be mean to you. You're the sweetest.” Tatianna moved closer.  
“I guess I'm just too perky for people.” Blair looked down.  
“At first, yes but some people like that.” Tatianna lifted her chin so they were looking at each other again. “I know I do now.” She pulled her in for a kiss.

Blair pushed away after a few seconds and stood up.

“No no, please don't. I'm sorry but I'm straight Tatianna. I can't do that.” She started to back away towards the door still looking at the girl.   
“Blair, I'm so sorry! Please don't leave, I didn't mean to do that. I was caught in the moment way to much.” Tatianna walked closer only for Blair to run her back into the doorknob.   
“Shit! Ow!” Blair turned around and swung the door open holding the spot on her back and running out.  
“Blair…” Tatianna watched feeling upset that she crossed a line she knew she should have kept far from. 

Adore seen Tatianna standing in her doorway staring off into a distance like she was lost, not even noticing she was walking to her. 

“Hey, you okay Tati?” Adore asked as she touched the girls arm causing her to jump.  
“Sorry, I was thinking of something. What's up?” Tatianna tried to smile.  
“Need to talk about it? You seem really upset over whatever you were thinking about.” Adore moved her hair from her left shoulder onto her right.  
“Okay. But we have to go to-”  
“Group room, I know.” Adore smiled.

Tatianna closed the door behind her then locked it before the headed for the group room. When they got to the room they sat on the bean bags provided for a more comfortable space during group.

“So what's wrong?” Adore asked as she adjusted herself.  
“I crossed a line I shouldn't have. I kissed Blair then found out she's straight. I invited her over for just a casual hang out and I don't know what came over me but I had a huge urge to just kiss her so I did and she freaked out. I feel so bad.” Tatianna looked like she was going to cry but stopped herself.  
“Oh Tati, it's okay. She'll be fine and over it soon, don't worry. Same thing happened with Pearl actually, Hayley kissed her when they were studying one night and Pearl panicked but she got over it.” Adore began to rub the girls hand.  
“Totally different type of story. Same beginning but she also tried to kill herself over feeling like she was going crazy from it all. Yeah she finally noticed her true feelings but look how it ended up. It's totally different.” Tatianna moved a hair behind her ear.  
“I know that. I didn't mean every part was the exact same as yours, idiot.” Adore laughed softly. “All I'm saying is, it'll be fine. It always ends up fine with you.”

“No it doesn't. It hasn't since I've been here, this whole time has been a struggle with something and it'll never be fine.” A tear ran down her cheek.  
“What do you mean?” Adore asked.  
“I've been in love or have had a huge crush on someone here even though I shouldn't. But the worst part is that she's already with someone.” She sniffled.  
“Have you told her?”   
“No. There's no point in telling her. It's against the rules and like I said, she's already with someone.” Tatianna moved her hand from Adore's grip.  
“I think you should tell her, let it out of your system.” Adore smiled.  
“There's no point now, I just did.” Tatianna looked back down and cried into her hands.  
“Me? Really? But I'm not with anybody.” Adore looked the girl over. 

“Yes you. Why do you think that I've always let you get away with shit and have done things for you that I shouldn't have. Why everyone considered you my ‘favorite’. You're with someone, anyone with eyes can see that you and Bianca have a thing going on.” Tatianna looked up at Adore.  
“We might have a little fling going on but we're not together. She doesn't want to be with me.” Adore felt angry but didn't know why.   
“I should get to bed, you need to go too before they do rounds. I'll see you tomorrow.” Tatianna quickly stood up and headed for the door.  
“Tati wait!” Adore joined her side.   
“What Adore?” Tatianna looked down trying to hide that she was crying. 

Adore turned her so they could be face to face and lifted her chin so Tatianna was looking at her. Then she kissed her, wrapping her arms around the girls shoulders before being pushed off.

“Don't! Don't kiss me out of pity or to make things feel better because it won't, it'll only make things feel worse. You can't just move your way through everyone by leading them on and hooking up. I'm not going to be playing your little game.” Tatianna crossed her arms.  
“Little game? What are you talking about!” Adore felt the anger rise again.  
“You know exactly what I'm talking about.” Tatianna whispered.  
“At least I'm capable of love.” Adore said as she walked past Tatianna, leaving her there.

Tatianna dropped to her knees from both sadness and shock.


	18. Chapter 18

Tatianna gets back to her room slamming the door behind her with tears streaming down her face and anger boiling out. She walks to her alcohol cabinet and pulls out a bottle of tequila and has a glass full. After three drinks she decides to go out to a club to get her mind off of things and doesn't care what happens.  
Searching through her closet for half an hour, she stumbles on one of her favorite dresses a tight black strapless, thigh high dress with black pumps and gets ready. Once her hair and makeup are on point she calls for an uber and chugs one more drink before heading out. 

Adore decides to go talk with Tatianna instead of heading to bed but a guard stops her from going down the hall where the staff's rooms are.  
“Look, I just need to apologize to Tatianna. We got into a fight and I need her to know I'm sorry.” Adore says as she points towards her room.  
“She left a few minutes ago looking fine as hell and more in likely will be out most of the night. Now I suggest you go to your room or I'll have to report you.” The guard said pointing back to the hallway the girls rooms are.  
“Ugh fine.” Adore finally gives in knowing she won't win and goes to bed. 

Tatianna finally reaches the club and blows her uber driver a kiss before going inside then heads straight for the bar ordering tequila shots to last her at least five minutes. Feeling eyes on her she turns and sees a man looking her over and smiling. 

“Let me get that for you sugar.” The man hands the bartender his card. “Put it on my tab.”  
“On your tab? So what do you do charm any chick you see and get them a drink to put onto your tab trying to make them feel special?” She asked finishing her third shot.  
“No, just thought I'd offer.” He looks her over again biting his lip. “A spicy little thing like you came here alone and I'm the first guy to get to you? Damn, I feel special.”  
“Who said anything about you getting me? Sorry, not interested.” She finishes her sixth shot and tries to walk away before almost falling from the drinks hitting her fast.  
“Woah, maybe you need to sit down.” The man catches her and sits her on a bar stool.  
“No I'm fine, I'll be right back.” She gets back up and this time has no trouble walking to the restroom to cool herself down. 

“Woah, nobody told me hot girls like you would be here tonight. You okay sweetie?” A woman walks over to her and moves her hair exposing her shoulder. “You are very beautiful you know.” The woman kisses her shoulder sending chills throughout her body causing her to bite her lip.  
“Can you sense a lesbian when you see one or something?” Tatianna asks as she turns to face the woman as she shakes her head. “Just took a lucky guess then?” The woman nods.  
“Do you wanna get out of here? My place isn't far from here.” The woman slowly runs her hand up Tatianna's thigh causing a shiver to run through her as she nods. “Then let's go.” She takes her hand and leads her out. 

Tatianna sees the man at the bar looking at her with a confused look on his face as he watches her leaving with another woman causing her to laugh and wink at him before leaving the club.  
When they finally enter the woman's house Tatianna is immediately pushed against the wall as the woman begins to kiss her hard moving from her lips down to her neck then just above the top of her dress as she runs her hand up her thigh feeling she had nothing on underneath. The woman looks at Tatianna and smiles knowing just how much she wanted this as she did.  
The woman takes her hand and heads for her room where she has Tatianna sit on her bed having her watch as she undresses herself. Tatianna can feel herself soaking through her dress each minute that passes by and wants to release it but knows she can't just yet. When the woman finishes she pulls Tatianna up and unzips her dress before laying her down so she could kiss down her body. 

As she gets to her lower stomach the doorbell rings causing her to stop and grab her robe as she heads for the door. When she walks back Tatianna has her body covered with a sheet and notices it's the man from the bar. 

“I hope you don't mind if my husband watches or can he join?” The woman asks as she slowly unwraps from her robe as Tatianna nods her head to the second offer. “Perfect.” 

While the man slowly gets undressed he watches as his wife lays Tatianna back down continuing where she left off licking her slowly to tease her as she grips the blanket with both hands. Once he finishes he walks over to the two women watching the woman slowly lick Tatianna and pushing two fingers into her causing her to let out a soft moan. He kneels next to Tatianna and kisses her while running an ice cube over her nipple from a glass she didn't notice he had, causing her to moan into his mouth as his wife speeds up.  
As he stops kissing her and leans back his wife does the same smiling at each other then at Tatianna. His wife climbs onto Tatianna adjusting herself so she could sit on her face properly making sure she was able to breathe while he pulls Tatianna to the edge of the bed lifting her legs so her ankles would be on each of his shoulders lining himself up with her, he pushes into her making her moan into his wife as she grips one of her thighs and starts to lick her quickly going with the same pace he was going into her. 

\--------  
Two hours had gone by and Adore was still awake. It was midnight and all she could think about was her fight with Tatianna and if she was safe not knowing if she was back or not. As her mind continued to race, she sits up and rests her elbows on her knees taking the calming breaths Sasha had taught her before heading to the bathroom feeling sick to her stomach.  
Holding her stomach on her walk down the hall she sees Bianca's office light was on and changes her route going for the office softly knocking on the door. Bianca opens the door slowly making sure not to wake Jinkx and glares at Adore. 

“What do you want?” Bianca asks in a whisper as she continues to glare at the girl.  
“I really don't feel good and need something for my stomach.” Adore says as she continues to hold her stomach. “It really hurts and I don't feel right.”  
“Come in and sit down on a chair. What does it feel like?” She asks as she looks through the medicine.  
“Like I have to throw up and like a brick wall is sitting on my stomach.” Adore says as she uses one hand to rub the side of her forehead. “And now I'm getting a headache.”  
“When was the last time you ate? It could be from that or maybe something didn't agree with you and wants out.” She grabbed a bottle of meds for upset stomachs and gave Adore two. “This should help.”  
“Could emotions cause it too?” Adore takes the meds and looks at Bianca for an answer.  
“Sometimes, yeah. But those should still help with how your stomach is feeling. Now try to go get some sleep.” Bianca smiled and watched the girl leave the office. 

\----------  
Tatianna woke up laying in between the couple but didn't want to stay the night. She got out of the bed as quietly and softly as she could then grabbed her dress putting it back on. Instead of putting her heels back on, she held them in one hand grabbing her purse with the other. She quickly ordered an uber and went to wait outside until she heard footsteps behind her. 

“Really? After everything we gave you tonight, you're just going to leave while we're sleeping? We knew you're a slut but didn't think you would run off on us like this.” He cornered her between the wall and door frame then grabbed her by the neck causing her to drop her things.  
“I-I thought you guys wouldn't mind since I was just a one night stand for you both.” She tried to push his hand off but instead it made him mad enough to punch her in the face as her phone made a bell noise alerting her that her ride was there. She picked her things up and ran out of the house. 

When she got back to the hospital she ran to her room crying until a guard stopped her seeing if she needed help until she told him she was fine just hurt her foot on the way in and the pain was making her upset so he let her go to her room without anymore hassle.  
Tatianna changed into her pajamas and curled into a ball under her blanket and cried. She felt dirty and was in so much pain that she began to wonder if it was truly him inside of her or if something else had been used and his wife sitting on her face was to hide that.  
After crying for an hour she eventually fell asleep only to dream about him punching her and pushing her against the wall by her throat. 

The next morning she woke up to a throbbing pain in her eye and an even worse pain from her waist down causing her to hardly move. Whatever they did was affecting her hard and she needed help right away.  
She tried to stand up but a pain shot through her body that hurt her so bad she dropped to the floor screaming. Aja heard her and ran into the room finding her on the floor screaming and crying in pain with blood staining her bottoms. They ran to get Bianca telling her what they saw and they both ran back to her room.

“Tati what happened?” Bianca tried to sooth her as she looked at her eye and the blood that seemed to keep going through. She held her in her arms keeping her from moving so she wouldn't scream.  
“I went out last night met a guy and his wife. They convinced me to have a threesome which I did but I don't think he was in me I think he used something else because it doesn't feel right at all and the bleeding won't stop and I'm in so much pain. When I went to sneak out last night he caught me and hit me calling me a slut.” She broke down more causing the pain to shoot through her more and screamed.  
“Aja! Get an ambulance now!” Bianca yelled. 

When the ambulance arrived and loaded her in Bianca gave them the information about the sex and how she was afraid he put something else in her instead and they headed off to the emergency room.  
Bianca looked around and seen several of the girls looking out of their doors and smiled at them hoping it would show everything was okay not knowing if she truly was or not. She headed back to her office to check on Jinkx seeing they were sitting up and smiling. 

“I feel better, I think I'm able to walk around now.” They said as they uncovered themself getting ready to stand.  
“As long as you feel strong enough to then go ahead and try.” She held their hand as they stood up and let go so they could walk.  
“Oh yeah this feels good.” They said as they walked to one side of the office to the other smiling.  
“That's good. If you feel like you don't have to be in here then you can go ahead and head back to your room sweetie.” Bianca smiled as she watched Jinkx walk around.  
“Thank you so much Bianca.” Jinkx pulled her in for a hug then left the office. 

Bianca sat in one of the chairs exhaling slowly as Adore walked in.  
“Is Tatianna okay?” She whispered.  
“I'm not sure, it's hard to tell.” Bianca yawned.  
“I'm sorry B, I really am.” Adore left the room holding her stomach. 

Jinkx went to their room and laid on their own bed failing asleep listening to Courtney singing softly. Ivy walked in and cuddled up to Jinkx both falling asleep together.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The O'Hara I'm referring to in this is Phi Phi.

After lunch Blair walked around outside as everyone was enjoying free time while they still can before the snow comes in. She sees Courtney sitting by herself with a sad look on her face and goes to join her. 

 

“Hello Courtney, how's your day going?” She sees Courtney wiping her cheek of the tears that had escaped. “Are you okay?” Blair rubbed the girls back. 

“Yeah, I'm just thinking about my friends and how we all would sit here and enjoy each others company. I miss them.” Her voice was shaky and low but she was able to keep herself from crying. 

“I'm so sorry sweetie, I can't imagine the pain you're feeling. Just know I'm always here if you ever need someone to vent to.” Blair put on her best smile as Courtney leaned in for a hug. “It'll be okay.”

 

As Courtney leaned back she smiled and nodded to everything Blair had told her and felt safe. She knew Blair meant good and was the first person to cheer her up that fast and was grateful for her. 

They talked for half an hour just getting to know each other, fashion, anything that came to mind. Blair noticed after a while that Courtney was looking around confused.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Blair looked where Courtney was.

“Where's Tatianna? She always has this shift but I haven't seen her all morning.” Courtney looked at the different groups to see if she was sitting with some.

“I haven't seen her either, since last night actually. Maybe she came down with something, I'll check on her soon and let you know.” Blair gave her a comforting smile. 

As they were getting back to their conversation about Blair's previous jobs Adore came running to Courtney.

 

“Court! Court have you heard or seen anything about Tati?” Adore was out of breath so she sat down.

“No.. Why?” Courtney looked at Blair then back to Adore. 

“She was sent to the hospital early this morning and I'm freaking the hell out.” Adore rubbed the sides of her forehead looking at the table.

“What? Wait why?” Blair asked.

“I couldn't really hear what B was telling the paramedic but I seen all of the blood. It was all over her sweats, floor, and definitely her bed and had a huge black eye. She went out last night and it's obvious something very bad happened to her.” Adore started to panic. 

“Oh my god... “ Blair jumped up and ran inside to find Bianca or Aja to find out what had actually happened.

 

\---------

“Miss Tatianna, are you able to tell us what happened? And try not to leave anything out please, we need all the information you can give us.” Officer O'Hara asked sitting in the chair next to her hospital bed.

“I went to the club and met a man at the bar. He offered to put my drink on his tab but I declined and headed to the restroom where I met a woman who talked me into leaving with her to her place which wasn't far from the club, a few blocks maybe, and when we started to have sex her doorbell rang so she went to get it and I covered myself with a sheet that was next to me and when she came back to the room the man that I met at the bar was with her saying he was her husband and asked if he could join. As she sat on my face so I could eat her out, he put my ankles on each of his ankles and started to have sex with me. I ended up falling asleep after but woke up a few hours later and went to leave, I put my dress back on and grabbed my purse along with my phone ordered an uber and went to wait outside for it. Before I was able to walk out of the door he came up behind me, pushed me against the wall by my throat calling me a slut for wanting to run off after what we all did and while I was trying to get him off of me he hit me. My uber showed up and I ran out.” Tatianna was crying but looking at the ceiling as she told the officer what had happened because she didn't want to see her reaction of disgust by the girls story that she felt disgusting about. 

 

“Tatianna, were you sure he was inserted in you and not something else?” O'Hara asked as she wrote everything down.

“I was caught in the moment and thought it was him, yeah but now I'm thinking it wasn't him.” Her lip quivered.

“I don't think it was him, honey. When did you notice the bleeding?” She asked looking back to see if she had told her already.

“This morning but I noticed some on my thigh last night and on my heel as well but just thought it was from my period or something so I cleaned it off not even thinking twice about it.” She looked at the officer. “I'm guessing I was bleeding the whole night then. 

“Sounds like it. Do you remember what they looked like or actually, you said you ordered an uber correct?” Tatianna nodded her head. “If we get your phone we can look up your previous rides and will be able to find their house. Where would we find your phone?”

“In my room on my dresser. The pin to unlock it is 4328.” Tatianna looked back to the ceiling.

 

After the officer left the room her doctor came in and checked her vitals and to tell her what they found.

 

“All of your results came back and I'm afraid they're not good.” He said as he looked at his clipboard.

“Didn't expect them to be since I'm in this situation.” she looked at him with her irritation showing.

“With your blood work there was a date rape drug used. Did you look away while talking to him?” She nodded slowly as the soft tears started again. “He must have slipped it in while you were focused on something else. With your examination, it was not his penis that was used.. There were pieces of what could have been the handle of a wooden broom handle that is thick enough to be assumed as a penis. Your cervix has been damaged as well more in likely from roughness he may had used.” As he was talking Tatianna cried harder and covered her face with her hands. “I'm sorry. I gave a copy to your officer as well. We're going to keep you here for a few days to make sure you start to heal correctly and to make sure the bleeding doesn't happen again, you lost quite a bit.” He put his clipboard down and changed her fluids bag.

 

\-------

Officer O'Hara and two others found the address and went to the home of the man and woman. Their cars were in the driveway showing they were home and the officers knocked on the door. 

 

“Babe can you get that!” The woman called from the kitchen.

The man answered the door and instantly knew what they were here for, she must have told them about punching her and grabbing her by the throat.

 

“Sir, we're here to place both you and your wife under arrest.” As O'Hara was telling him one of the officers was placing him in handcuffs when his wife walked in. 

“What's going on? Jacob, what did you do-hey! What are you doing!” The second officer began placing handcuffs on her as well. 

 

When they got to the station and were placed into the interview room they seen O'Hara and another officer sitting in front of them. 

 

“Now, you both may be wondering what you're doing here today, well let's start off by saying you won't be leaving. Are you familiar with this woman here?” she showed them a picture of Tatianna they were given from Bianca of the both of them on her first day. The couple nodded. “Good. She is in the hospital in a serious amount of pain as we speak. A date rape drug was found in her blood work and you have raped her with an object that was not you, sir. I need to know what that object was and when you slipped the drug.” She stared into the man's eyes.

“I slipped it into one of her shots as we were talking about putting her order on my tab.. I thought it was a good distraction for it.” The man answered softly. “I used a mop handle as well. 

“What do I have to do with this?” The woman asked with a harsh tone in her voice. “I didn't rape her.”

“You were aware of what he was planning and led her to your home which you both planned on bringing a woman to commit this crime. You part of the rape by doing that, blocking her vision as your husband began to rape her. He also hit and tried to choke her to prevent her from leaving.”

 

The couple sat in silence as O'Hara and the other officer went to speak with the chief to put a rush on their court date. When they returned they seen that the woman was angry and the man was scared. They were being sentenced at 3 p.m.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm so sorry for the wait but I promise I'll be back to posting regularly!   
> I hope you enjoy. Feel free to leave comments or kudos if you like :)

~one month later~  
“Come on everyone! Get that sign up! Bianca will be here any minute with Tatianna!” Michelle yelled as she watched everyone set the tables with plates, cups, napkins, plastic forks and spoons. Jinkx and Ivy were in charge of the banner so they were deciding where to hang it before they heard Blair run out yelling that they were coming.   
Everyone lined up waiting for them to come outside and see what they all had prepared for the girls return. Bianca put a sleep mask on Tatianna so she couldn't peek at anything and held her hand to lead her where they were headed. When they finally reached outside Bianca took the mask off and seen Tatianna's eyes fill with tears and how big her smile was.   
“WELCOME HOME TATI!” Everyone yelled once the mask was taken off. The group ran up to her and gave her a big group hug.  
“Oh my goodness! You didn't have to do this for me, you're all so sweet. I missed and love all of you!” Her smile couldn't be broken by anything. 

Tatianna was filled with happiness and forgot all the pain she was feeling before stepping outside. She noticed most of the group were having happy tears as well. What she didn't know was that they all made her cards and laid them on her bed along with a gift basket containing her favorite candy, snacks, and a teddy bear similar to the one Adore has. The room also had a lot of helium balloons throughout the whole room.   
She knew the group loved and missed her so much but she felt something, a presence that she's never felt before but she couldn't figure out what it was. Bianca noticed she looked confused but knew it wasn't about the group since they were busy getting the food settled onto the table. 

“Hey, are you okay? Are you hurting?” Bianca asked in a low voice so she wouldn't alarm the others.   
“No, I'm okay. I just feel something, like, I don't know how to explain it without sounding crazy.” She looked around but didn't see anyone else standing around. Aja, Blair, Michelle and Sasha joined the group at settling the food and finishing up anything else that needed to be finished. “I just wish this was for Pearl instead of me, but I really love and appreciate this so much.” She smiled and hugged Bianca.  
“Maybe it's her presence you feel and it doesn't make you sound or seem crazy Tati.” Bianca gave her a smile that she had never seen before.   
“I love you B.” Tatianna held her hand returning the smile.  
“I love you too. Now lets party with these animals.” Bianca started laughing pulling Tatianna along with her, hands still holding each other.

The group dressed her chair with a flower garland and crown Ivy had made out of each flower there was. Tatianna gave another big smile and hugged the girl before sitting in her chair.   
After they had finished eating Michelle turned the radio on and they all began to dance around with each other. Aja walked up to Tatianna and smiled. 

“Wanna dance?” Aja held out their hand and blushed as she put her hand in theirs. “You're so pretty.”   
“Thanks Aja but I just came home from the hospital, I can't look that great.” She laughed.   
“I think you look beautiful no matter what.” Aja smiled and felt the warmth in their cheeks as Tatianna gave them a loving smile.   
“I missed you.”   
“I missed you too.”   
They danced close to each other, her hands around their shoulders, their hands on her waist. “Do you want me to move my hands?” Aja asked slowly taking their hands away from her waist.   
“No, you're perfectly fine.” She smiled and leaned in closer resting her head on their shoulder and closed her eyes. 

\-------  
The party lasted until lights out, the group insisted on cleaning everything up before then so the janitors didn't have to. Once everything was cleaned up they all headed for their rooms.   
Trixie and Katya gave each other a kiss and hug goodnight as Blair was giving Courtney a hug. Adore was visiting Bianca in her office to talk about what she was going to do once she was released out of the hospital.   
Adore found out a few weeks ago that she might be released soon due to how well she's been and showing signs that she was getting better. 

“Bianca, I can't leave here. All of my friends are here, you're here. What am I going to do if I leave? John has a girlfriend and I don't want to be a block or a problem for him again, he shouldn't be responsible for me. Living with Danny is a hell no because all he does is party too much and is never home so I would be alone and I hate that.” Adore began to cry just thinking about how lost she'll be.   
“Adore, I don't know. I can't stop them from releasing you if they plan to do so, that's not my position. Trust me I don't want to see you go and I know everyone else wouldn't want to have you leave either. I would visit you whenever I could, I hope you know that.” Bianca put her hand on the girls knee as she looked down.   
“No you won't. You say that now and will probably make a visit or two then stop because I won't be your problem anymore. I know how this works Bianca.” Adore wiped her cheek then moved Bianca's hand off of her knee and jumped down from the bed to start heading for the door.   
“Adore wait, it won't be like that. I promise!” Bianca went after her and grabbed her hand. Adore turned her head so she could look Bianca in her eyes.   
“You never keep promises.” Then she left to her room leaving Bianca in tears. 

Adore knew she'll be alone no matter what, in here or out there. She has always been alone but it was never her fault. Ever since she started school for the first time all of the other kids would stare at her and laugh and tell her how stupid she looked. The older she got the worse they were to her until she finally cracked and got into a huge fight with one of the ‘popular’ girls who said she was too fat to wear her Nirvana shirt that was cut just above her belly button with a pink piercing through it and her ripped black skinny jeans. She was skinny enough to see her ribs.

~~~~flashback~~~~  
“Who knew Adore was that fat and decided to wear a shirt like that to show everyone. Must be a new thing for her.” Anna laughed along with her friends before she felt pain in her stomach and fell to the ground. “What the hell Adore!”   
“You think I'm fat huh! At least I don't have to take laxatives and shove a finger down my throat to stay this small unlike you! Or do you cause yourself to puke by shoving all the dicks you suck down your fucking throat!” This caused the people around them to laugh. Adore kicked her in the stomach causing Anna to cough several times before standing up and pushing Adore against her locker. 

The girls fought hard to make sure the other felt pain and to make sure they caused the most damage to the other. Anna found a way to make her win by grabbing Adore's belly ring and pull causing Adore to scream in pain.   
They both looked down as blood ran down Adore's stomach and onto the waistband of her jeans. When Adore looked back at Anna she made sure the other girl could see the rage in her eyes. Anna sure did and knew she was about to lose the fight.   
Adore then headbut her hard enough to make the other fall onto the ground just as the principal ran up to see what was going on.   
“Delano! Martinez! My office now! Everyone else get to class!” He yelled as he walked to help Anna back up who then dropped the belly ring onto the floor. 

Adore and Anna were suspended for a week. Adore had to get stitches while Anna had to get her nose checked just to find out it was broken. Adore sure knew how to headbut very well.   
~~~~~~  
\------  
“Blair! Could you cover for me for an hour or two please? I just want to make sure Tatianna is okay and everything.” Aja asked as they finished putting their paperwork into its correct file.   
“Of course! Gotta make sure she's all comfy!” Blair smiled as she bit into her cinnamon roll.   
“Thanks!” Aja fixed their shirt before heading for the girls room. 

As Aja got closer to her room she seen Bianca leaving holding a first aid kit.   
“Bianca, is she okay?” Aja asked pointing to the kit.  
“Oh yeah she's good. Just had to change her bandage.” Bianca smiled as she walked past Aja. Tatianna had to have surgery to fix the damage the man caused to her pelvis and any other area around it.   
Aja knocked softly on her door waiting for a response.  
“Come in!” Tatianna yelled. 

Aja walked in slowly seeing she was laying on her side holding her stomach like she was giving herself a hug.   
“Oh hey, didn't know you were coming by tonight!” Tatianna smiled watching Aja close the door behind them.  
“Yeah, I hope it's okay. I just wanted to make sure you're okay and settled in fine.” Aja sat in the chair next to the bed that Bianca must have sat in.   
“Yeah I'm good. You can stay if you want, I know this is about the time your shift is.” Tatianna squeezed her eyes shut when she moved a bit.   
“Blair is covering for me. I'm good for about an hour or two.” Aja smiled and Tatianna copied.   
“Well that's perfect. Come spoon with me then.” Tatianna lifted the blanket behind her so Aja can join. “Come on, I don't bite. Hard.” She giggled as Aja climbed in behind her.   
“Hang on,” Tatianna slowly turned over to face Aja but squeezed her eyes shut again from the pain that was starting again. Once she was comfortable again she opened her eyes and poked Aja on the tip of their nose. “Better.” She cuddled up to them and laid her head on their chest wrapping her arm around their waist. Aja then began to play with her hair and ran their finger along her shoulder whenever they got to the edge of her hair. 

They laid and talked for half an hour before Aja noticed her breathing was softer and heard a slight snore. Aja smiled at the small snore and knew she was happy to be back in her own bed. They felt like they were helping her feel safe and loved. Shortly after they ended up falling into a deep sleep. They stayed wrapped in each others arms until early into the morning when Bianca came in to check her bandages. 

“Hey, I need to check her. You can come back in when I'm done.” Bianca whispered after softly waking Aja so she wouldn't wake the girl up just yet. Aja managed to wiggle out without waking her. “Have you been here all night?” She walked Aja to the door.  
“Shit. Yes, oh god Blair is going to murder me.” Aja ran their fingers through their hair before running their hands over their face.   
“Doubt it. When I told her good morning and asked if she knew if Tatianna was awake she told me no because she was cuddling something sweet. I thought it was the bear you picked out for her.” Bianca smiled and hugged Aja before they walked out with a smile. 

Aja hurried to the nurse's station and seen Blair talking to Courtney.   
“Good morning Aja!” Courtney said as she perked up.   
“Morning Aja, sleep well?” Blair smiled as she tucked a hair behind her ear.   
“Blair I'm so sorry, I know I told you only an hour but I lost track of time. We ended up talking and I-”   
“Aja, it's fine. I'm not mad so hush. She needed something or someone,” she winked. “To give her that comfort she needed. You're good.”  
“Thank you.” Aja sat down leaning over to hug Blair looking up to see Courtney smiling as she twirled a piece of her hair.   
“So how big are the spiders there exactly?” Blair and Courtney continued to talk about Australia again so Aja tuned out the conversation. 

They seen Trixie and Katya skipping down the hall heading for breakfast and started thinking, hoping that they'll find love like theirs one day.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains smut!
> 
> I know it says it's on chpt 22 but named chpt 21, it's because I don't want to remove the lovelies note I left for you all. It might be dumb I know but hey, showing my true colors lol.  
> Enjoy!

Adore walked up to the nurse's station and poked Courtney on the shoulder two times hoping it would catch the girls attention.  
“Morning Adore!” Courtney pulled her in for a hug but after she let her go she noticed something was wrong. “I'll talk to you later Blair!” She waved and led Adore to her room where she broke down.  
“Court, I have a problem.” Courtney noticed the shake in Adore's voice.  
“What is it, are you okay?” Courtney said with a low voice.

“Nobody knows for sure yet but, I might be getting released soon. Apparently I've been doing really good and they feel I no longer need to be here.” Adore started to break down while Courtney sat in shock.  
“No… no you can't go.” Courtney felt rage start to grow in her stomach. “You're my best friend, you can't leave me here.”  
“I know! I don't want to leave but they won't let me stay!” Adore stood up and began to yell at her friend.  
“Maybe you should go! I already lost two other best friends why not add on one more!” Courtney was now standing and in Adore's face. “Stop being such a baby and face the real world Adore!” 

A few seconds later and they were on the ground fighting each other, hair pulling, punching, scratching, everything. Courtney pushed Adore hard enough to hit her dresser and knock over a picture frame and several books but both didn't care at the moment. Adore jumped back onto Courtney who managed to get on top of Adore.  
Courtney looked into her eyes but didn't find anger or sadness but something she could relate to, fear. Next thing she knew she was back on the floor getting slapped but this one stung more than the others. She looked up and seen Adore had a smirk on her face.  
“You liked that!” She started to laugh as Courtney shook her head no. “Well you liked something princess.” Adore ran her hand up the middle of Courtneys shorts pushing slightly so Courtney could feel more than what she already was. This caused her to let out a small moan. “Knew it!” Adore laughed again then was pushed against the dresser but this time Courtney pulled her legs to make sure they weren't under her then jumped into her lap pulling her hair so her head was tilted up slightly then started to kiss her. 

Courtney pulled away wiping her bottom lip hearing Adore make a squeak and trying to pull her back in. Courtney gave her the same smirk before slapping Adore causing her to groan but smile from the sting making Courtney laugh.  
“Now I know you liked that.” Courtney lifted herself up slightly from Adore's lap to grab something off of her dresser when she felt a sting on her ass, first was her right cheek then the left. “Again.” two more. “That all you got?” She looked down and seen an irritated look on the girls face and smiled. “Aw, not getting the reaction you want?”  
Courtney grabbed her scarf from the top of her dresser and sat back onto Adore's lap, hard enough to get a sound out of her then smirked.  
“Get up.” Courtney pulled her up and pointed to her bed. “Sit down. Wrists facing up.”  
“Uh uh. You sit, I'm taking over.” Adore grabbed the scarf and made Courtney sit. She wrapped it around her wrists and smiled.  
She knew Courtney had a few pairs of thigh high stockings so she looked through each drawer until she found a pair then turned to the girl. She folded one into a small enough ball to fit into Courtneys mouth then wrapped the other around and tied it. Adore looked around and seen a pair of scissors and grabbed them cutting an inch at the bottom of the girls shirt then ripped it open exposing that Courtney had nothing on underneath.  
After laying Courtney down she slowly pulled her shorts down her legs and smiled as Courtney was now completely naked. “Decided not to wear anything under your clothes today? Nice.” Adore threw the shorts down and slowly kissed up the girls thigh. “Pizza is the safe word today.” Courtney gave a smothered giggle. “Funny huh?” She pulled her to the edge of the bed then flipped her over so she would now be laying on her stomach then gave each side a hard smack causing Courtney to groan then turned her back over seeing the girls eyes watering. “You okay still?” Courtney nodded quickly. 

Adore kissed down Courtney's body leaving marks on each breast then down her chest to her belly button. She left marks on each hip bone and moved to her inner thighs where she left more marks that looked bigger due to how close they were to each other. Adore had to hold Courtneys hips down to keep her from thrusting her hips up causing her to moan and whine.  
Courtney knew better than to reach down and pull Adore by her hair to get closer to where she needed to be touched knowing what the consequences would be, either stopping completely or more spanking. She didn't mind the spanking but didn't want to risk Adore from stopping completely. Adore put one of her legs onto her shoulder and left the other open. Soon she felt Adore's tongue slowly running up and down her as she pushed two fingers into her causing her to let out a moan that would have been loud if it wasn't for the gag Adore gave her. Adore sped up her licks but kept her fingers at a slow pace before switching to a faster pace for her fingers and a slow pace for her licks driving Courtney crazy. Squeezing her eyes closed she reached above her head grabbing tightly onto the pillow that laid against the wall.  
Adore changed the pace of both her fingers and her licks to quicken at the same time and smiled as she continued to lick Courtney feeling the girl drip down her chin and onto her chest and possibly the floor. She could feel the girl was getting close but was not planning on stopping. She enjoyed the smothered noises she was causing Courtney, “music to my ears”, she thought to herself.  
Since Courtney had the Adore-made gag in her mouth it was hard to yell out what she wanted. So when she wanted to yell “Dorey!” it sound like “dowy”. 

“Dowy! Ammm!” Courtney thrusted her hips up and rolled her head back squeezing her eyes shut. Adore knew she just made her come but she didn't stop she just slowed down the pace of her fingers.  
Lifting her head to look at Courtney she licked around her mouth absorbing all of her then smirked once Courtney looked at her. Keeping up her slow pace of her fingers she used her other hand to pull the gag from her mouth listening to her deep breathing and small moans she was still causing.  
Courtney was covered in sweat and felt her hair sticking to her forehead and shoulders, she will definitely need a cold shower after, whenever Adore decided to finish of course. She looked down and seen Adore smirk at her and finally pull the gag out. “Yo-your turn.” Adore shook her head and pushed her fingers in deeper causing her to do a low moan. “Yes. I need to!” Adore slowly pulled her fingers out of her and sucked each one while still looking her in the eye. 

Adore untied Courtney then watched as Courtney began to undress her. She always thought she was beautiful but seeing her in this moment she truly realized how beautiful she really was and smiled.  
Courtney didn't take her time like Adore had and began to kiss her forehead down her cheek to her jaw then her mouth. She licked Adore's lips and chin tasting herself before kissing her.  
Courtney didn't kiss down her body like Adore did to her, instead she went right to Adore and began to lick. It only took a few seconds for Adore to drip down her chin and she loved it. She can hear how badly she was trying to hide her moans so they wouldn't get caught so she pushed a pillow closer to her without stopping her pace. Adore grabbed the pillow and bit into a corner of it and released a moan, it was covered but still loud enough for Courtney to hear so she went faster.  
Instead of pushing in a finger or two, she grabbed each of Adores thighs and gripped hard enough that it would leave bruises. She knew it wouldn't take long for Adore to come so she changed her pace every few seconds. When Adore was about to come someone opened the door causing both girls to jump. Courtney grabbed for a towel near her and Adore grabbed the blanket. 

“Oh my god, I am so- oh my god.” Jinkx looked around the room not knowing what to say. “I um, I'm sorry! I just needed to grab my caddy. Fuck, um, I'll wait!” Jinkx quickly walked out and shut the door. Both girls began to laugh.  
Courtney grabbed Adore's legs and pulled her back to the edge of her bed and continued from where she left off.  
“Court-oh shit. Court I-. Keep going!” Adore pulled onto the girls hair and grabbed for the pillow with her other hand covering her face to let out a loud moan that the pillow was able to hide. She removed the pillow and didn't move, just laid there both sweaty and out of breath as Courtney laid next to her doing the same.  
“Fuck man. That was amazing. Honestly, that was the best sex I have ever had. Bianca never made me feel or come like that. Ever.” Adore and Courtney started to laugh.  
“Maybe because she's old.” Adore softly pushed her not having enough strength to do anything else.  
“True.” Adore laughed again. “Or maybe you're just a sex god.”  
“Yeah, probably.” Courtney lifted herself so she was laying on her elbows. “Isn't Bianca only like 30?”  
“Yeah, I think so.” Adore sat up letting the blanket fall from her chest. Courtney hugged Adore from behind as they were still sitting and moved some of her hair to kiss her shoulder. “That is one amazing way to stop a fight. I didn't even know you were into that stuff.” She turned her head to look at Courtney who was softly leaving a mark where she had kissed.  
“Me either.” Courtney slowly kissed up Adore's neck reaching her hand around to grab her right breast.  
“Remember not to leave a mark there or Michelle will be on my ass asking who left it.” She closed her eyes letting Courtney continue to kiss her neck and rub her right breast as she reached up and began to rub her own left one. “We should stop. Next time might not be Jinkx coming in.”  
“Jinkx will never come into-” Courtney began.  
“That's not what I meant Court.” Adore sounded irritated. “You know they wanna transition.”  
“No! I didn't mean it like that.” Courtney sat up as she watched Adore stand up putting her shirt back on.  
“Sounded like it though.” Adore grabbed one of Courtneys shirts she had laying on the floor and tossed it to her. “Sorry for tearing apart your shirt. You should grab a new pair of shorts. These are soaked through.” She held up the shorts seeing her blush. “Oh, do you have an extra pair I could use until I take a shower?” Adore laughed as she held up both of their shorts showing both were soaked.  
“Oh shit, they look like they just got taken out of a bath and were hardly twisted to drain out all of the water, like after handwashing ya know?,” Courtney laughed as she got up and opened a drawer. As she leaned over she felt Adore smack her on the right again. “You're gonna get me started again.” She turned her head to look back at Adore and licked her lips softly then winked. She seen Adore swallow hard and smiled. “Am I getting you started again?”  
“Yes.” Adore grabbed the shorts Courtney handed her and slipped them on. “You should run cold water on your ass, it'll calm the heat and sting. You'll also have a few welts. And you should wear pants and a sweater for a week at least, you have hickeys everywhere, sorry.” Adore winked as she pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. She headed for the door turned around and blew a kiss then winked then left the room. 

\--------  
At lunch, Jinkx seen both Adore and Courtney freshly showered, walking outside with their trays and began to laugh.  
Ivy looked up from her book but was confused about what was funny. “Did the giggle monster get ya?” Ivy closed her book smiling at Jinkx.  
“No, I just seen something earlier between those two. I hope it will leave my head soon because I do not want it painted in my mind forever.” Jinkx looked at Ivy who looked confused again. “Don't tell anyone but I walked in on them having sex.” Ivy started laughing with her hand covering her mouth.  
“I didn't know what to do! I was in shock and kept blabbering like a kid but it's so funny!” Jinkx ran their hand through their hair pulling out a knot.  
“What exactly did you witness?” Ivy started to calm down her laugh which turned into a small giggle.  
“Court on her knees with Adore's legs over her shoulders. I'm guessing they were going at it for a while with how much they were sweating and the room smelled very strongly like sex.” Jinkx took a bite.  
“That actually sounds hot. Wow!” Ivy perked up. “We should give Courtney a show too. But that's just an opinion.” Ivy giggled again then took a drink of her water.  
“As much as I'd love to, you know I can't..” Jinkx really wanted to make love to Ivy, even though what Adore and Courtney did was just sex, but knew it would be better and safer for not only Ivy but for themself.  
“I know,” Ivy's voice was almost a whisper. “I was just trying to be funny.” Ivy stood up grabbed her tray and set her book next to her plate. “I'm gonna head to the library, I'll see you later.”  
Jinkx watched as Ivy walked away and felt a sting in their heart. They wanted to open up about it to her but was deeply afraid. 

\--------  
Katya was on library duty today which was her favorite because it was the quietest and peaceful area there. She seen Ivy walk in but noticed she wasn't as chirpy like she always was.  
“Hey Ivs, you okay?” Katya walked with Ivy to a two seat couch. “Ivy, you're crying. Please talk to me, what's wrong honey?” Ivy looked at Katya and began to breakdown. Katya pulled her in for a hug but Ivy put her hand up letting her know she wasn't ready for it yet.  
“Jinkx was telling me about how they walked in on someone having sex and they thought it was funny and even described what was happening when they walked in and I made a innocent joke about doing the same but then they told me again that they didn't want to have sex with me, they've told me this so many times and trust me, I never bring it up they bring it up a lot even when we're just cuddling then they apologize for it but won't tell me why.” She sniffled then Katya passed her the box of tissues that sat on the side table behind her. “I don't know why they keep bringing it up or why they don't want to have sex with me. I keep thinking that maybe they are afraid it won't mean anything to me or maybe they don't love me enough to want to share a moment like that with me. I want them to love me, I know that's not always a way to show it but I want it to be a moment that we'll always remember, a special moment that we share together and mean so much to us. I love them so much but feel like they don't want to share special moments like this with me because they don't feel the way I do. I want to spend my life with them.. I don't know what to do Kat.” Ivy leaned into Katya feeling the other wrap her arms around her pulling her in closer.  
“Sweetie, maybe they are just afraid of the subject and feel like you do about it but in their eyes, about it not meaning anything to you and just see it as sex and not as making love, or maybe they're just not ready to have sex and that's something you can't force them into.” Ivy looked up at Katya and shook her head, “no I'm not trying to force them!” Katya laid her head back onto her shoulder. “I know, but I honestly think you deserve an answer, you should really talk to them about this.” 

Katya sat with her until she calmed down.  
“Thank you Katya.” Katya smiled and gave a small nod. “Oh, I was returning this. I'm gonna look around.” Ivy stood up handing Katya the book and walked away.  
“You are like Belle and I LOVE it!” Katya stood up and heard Ivy lightly laugh as she was looking down an aisle. 

\-------  
“Adore, could you come here please.” Sasha asked as Adore was heading for her room. “Take a seat my dear.” Sasha sat down and looked at a file.  
Adore sat down and began to squeeze her hands together turning her knuckles white and swallowed hard.  
“Now, I discussed your release with a few of the members who decide on it all,” Adore felt heat rising in her cheeks but refused to let tears out. “They denied to release you. I'm sorry but you won't be released.” Sasha had a sad but relieved look on her face.  
“Really! Oh my god, thank you Sasha!” Adore perked up in her seat.  
“Bianca noted that you're having severe depression and would be safer here instead of returning home but you seem,” Sasha looked the girl over and smiled. “Seem happy to be able to stay. Honestly, I didn't want to see you leave. Especially with how upset you were when I told you about the possibility.”  
“I don't think I'm emotionally or mentally ready to leave yet. I know I'd end up being alone or worse. I know I'll eventually have to leave here but I feel like this isn't the right time.” Adore knew something in her gut was telling her to stay.  
“I don't think it's the right time either sweetie.” Sasha smiled and stood up to hug the girl who also stood up with her.  
“Thank you so much.” Adore turned to leave and walked out with a smile and quickly walked to Bianca's office. 

She knocked a few times before Bianca opened the door then seen her face turn from anger to a bit of both sadness and happiness.  
“Come in.” She closed the door as Adore quickly walked in. Adore was practically jumping when Bianca turned around. “Woah, calm down or you'll break something.” she laughed.  
“I'm not being released thanks to what you wrote!” Adore jumped into Bianca's arms hugging her then felt Bianca pull her away before she grabbed the girl in for a kiss on her lips, across her cheek then back to her lips.  
“I'm so happy it worked! I was planning on quitting if they released you.” Bianca smiled but seen Adore looked confused. “What, what's wrong?”  
“Why were you going to quit?” Adore asked as she pulled away.  
“To be with you. You keep me together and if I lost you, I know I'd fall apart. I love you Adore.” Bianca smiled. Adore felt guilt eating away at her heart then felt sick. “You look like you're going to-” Before she could answer Adore was throwing up into the sink.  
“Bianca, I love you. I really really do but.. I slept with Courtney today..” She was still looking in the sink when she heard Bianca breathe in and move her hand off of her back. Adore grabbed a paper towel to wipe her mouth then turned on the faucet before turning to look at Bianca seeing only sadness and pain. “I'm sorry, I.. You told me you didn't want me or love me and I've been hurting so much since. I wasn't even thinking, I was only thinking of you and how much I wished it were you. I'm sorry, I love you.” As she was talking, Bianca hadn't moved. She was like a statue because her expression didn't change either but tears were streaming down her cheeks. 

Finally she let out a breath and looked away to wipe her face with her sleeves on her shirt. “I know I said that to you but I also told you I didn't mean it. I need to think. Here,” she handed Adore a condom sized packet with three tums tablets inside. “This should calm your stomach.” She couldn't look at Adore.  
“B please.. Look at me.” Adore touched her hand but Bianca pulled away. Adore got the hint and left. Bianca sat down and began to cry harder. 

Sasha seen Adore leaving Bianca's office crying so she went to check on her friend. When she walked in she seen Bianca resting her elbows on her knees with her face in her hands crying. Sasha closed and locked the door which caught Bianca's attention then ran to her side. She knew about the love they each had for each other and even their, “somewhat” relationship.  
“B, what happened?” She pulled Bianca up and set her onto the bed and sat next to her. “Talk to me.”  
“I should have never told her I,” she hiccuped. “I didn't love or want her. Sh...she slept with Court..Courtney.” She looked at Sasha. “I.. I'm so stupid. I n..never should have t..told her that. My heart hurts.” She cried harder as Sasha pulled her in tight.  
“It's gonna be okay Bianca. You guys can fix this. I know you regret those words but she was confused and hurt by it. She could have used the sex as a bandaid to hide her pain.” She moved a hair from her friends face. “I'm not taking her side or agreeing with the choice she made, but when people are hurt they do things to try to numb and hide the pain.” Bianca nodded into Sasha.  
“I don't t..think this can be fixed.” Bianca whispered.  
“I feel it could. Even if it ends with you two broken up from each other, this will be handled no matter what direction your relationship goes.” Sasha began to unclip Bianca's hair and ran her fingers through it.  
“I love her.” Bianca said softly. “I really do.”  
“I know you do. Go get some sleep and if you need or want to talk to me, you know where to find me. You can even come to me in my room if you need to. Love you B.”  
“Thank you, I love you too Sash.” Sasha walked Bianca to her room hand in hand and hugged her once they got to her room then headed back to her office to finish her work. 

Adore watched after cracking her door open when she heard their voices in the hall. She started to cry again when she seen how broken Bianca was.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know that one of the trans characters have not started hormones yet but still consider themself as trans.   
> I hope you like this chapter, I've been on a bit of a writers block so hopefully this is chapter is okay.   
> Enjoy!

Aja has been spending everyday with Tatianna to help keep her comfortable and not feel alone. Michelle has taken over Aja's shifts but told the two it will only be for a week then she'll take over helping Tatianna. 

Spending more time with Aja has been the best few days she has had in months and it couldn't get any better. Especially when Aja would sleep over, then she felt safer and more at home. 

 

“Can you sleep here tonight, please?” Tatianna asked as she slowly pushed herself up from her chair. 

“Of course I will. Let me help you, you shouldn't strain yourself so much.” Aja stood up and grabbed her hand so they could help her stand and walked her to the bed.

“I need a nap.” Tatianna laid on her side and smiled. “Lay with me?” 

“Okay. Do you need anything?” They took their shoes off and looked around.

“No, just want you to lay next to me.” Aja laid down so Tatianna got into her normal position when they cuddled. 

Tatianna wrapped her right arm around their waist then laid her head onto their chest. “Why is your heart beating so fast, are you okay?” She looked up scared that something was wrong. 

“I'm fine. I'm just happy is all.” She laid her head back onto their chest and closed her eyes as Aja ran their hand through her hair slowly. 

 

\----------

Courtney walked around in her sweatshirt and pants with a big smile on her face walking to Trixie and Katya.

“Hey guys, how's your morning?” She asked as she twirled a curl.

“Good! I'm starving though.” Katya said as she stretched her arms above her head. “You're in a super good mood today.” She smiled.

“Yeah, it's kind of odd.” Courtney looked offended. “Yeah you're always in a good mood but this is different.” Trixie looked her over and noticed the girl moved her head showing a bit of her neck and a small bruise. “Oh my, who did you- Adore?” 

“Mhm!” Courtney perked up. “She left them everywhere!” she pointed to the places they were. 

“Court.. That's not going to end up going well.” Katya said softly. 

“Why? Her and Bianca are no longer a thing!” Courtney pushed past them pissed at both and stormed her way outside. 

 

“This is going to end badly.” Trixie looked back at Katya then seen Adore walking from the bathroom. “Hey! Dorey, come here for a second.” She waved her over. 

“Hey babes, what's up?” Adore asked as she pulled her hood on. “It's fucking cold in here.”

“Speaking of fucking, did you do Courtney?” Katya asked and seen her eyes go wide. “I'm taking that as yes, right?” Adore nods.

“I honestly didn't know what I was thinking. We got into a big fight then we ended up making out and then, yeah. But..” Adore looked down. “I went to Bianca to thank her for writing what she did to keep me here and she kissed me then told me she was going to quit,” 

“Wait, you were going to-” Katya widened her eyes.

“Shut up, let her talk.” Trixie looked back to Adore. “Continue, please.”

“She was going to quit to be with me then told me she loves me, in love with me. I felt so guilty and I still do, so I wanted to be honest with her and told her I slept with Courtney and it just went to hell, and I threw up in the sink. She said she needed to think and I left.. I heard her and Sasha talking as Sasha was walking B to her room. I've never seen her so upset and crying so much. I feel terrible. I never should have done it.” Adore looked back to the girls and seen their shocked expressions.

“Wow.. I'm actually, I don't know what to say.” Trixie rubbed the back of her neck.

“Um, Courtney basically showed off one of your marks on her neck and pointed to everywhere else you left them so she might show them off.” Katya said softly. 

 

“Courtney Act to Bianca's office.” Blair announced over the intercom. 

“Shit.” All three girls said together.

“This is going to be bad.” Adore scratched her head. “Wait! What day is it?” 

“Oh shit, body check ups.” Trixie looked at the office door seeing Bianca looking in their direction. “She looks so sad.” She whispered.

“Hey babe!” Courtney walked up going to kiss her cheek but Adore backed up before she could. “Fine.” She walked into the office.

 

“Okay, it's body check ups so if you could-” Bianca turned around after putting her gloves on seeing all the marks over her chest down to the middle of her thighs. 

“Adore sure did paint me good didn't she?” Courtney smirked as she ran a finger down her stomach to the waistband of her panties. “I think she's truly artis-”

“Shut your mouth. Get on the bed.” Bianca's anger was clear in her voice and eyes.

“Ooo that sounds very familiar. Did she ever say that to you too?” Courtney bit her lip. 

“I said to shut up!” Bianca slammed her clipboard onto the bed next to Courtney. 

“And if I don't, are you going to spank me like she did?” She smirked. “She did say I was a sex god, want me to prove it?” She crossed her right leg over her left, holding herself up on her left elbow while running a finger over chest. 

“I said to shut the fuck up Courtney!” Bianca yelled getting closer to her. 

 

Adore, Trixie and Katya heard Bianca yelling but couldn't understand what was being said so they ran outside the door to listen. 

“Aw is someone getting angry?” Courtney mocked Bianca's expression. 

“Get dressed and leave. Now.” Bianca turned taking off her gloves. 

“But my exam isn't done yet.” She giggled. “Do you want me to show you why she called me a sex god?” 

“No.” Bianca gripped the counter.

“Why not?” Courtney jumped off the bed and walked over to her. “Afraid I'll be better than her? She told me I was better and made her come harder than you ever have.” She whispered in her ear while running her fingers up Bianca's arm. 

“No.” Bianca swallowed hard trying not to sound defeated. “And you're clearly stupid Courtney.”

“Hm? Stupid about what?” Courtney ran her finger down Bianca's side then started for her stomach before the woman stopped her.

“She did and said that because she was frustrated and now you think you're some god just because you made her come. Girl, she'd come from just about anything.” She laughed turning to face her seeing the sad expression turn to anger. 

“No! You're wrong! She wants me not you! She loves me!” Courtney got into her face. Bianca laughed again. 

 

“Shit.” Adore ran in with the other two behind her. “Courtney stop!” She ran between them. 

“Tell her Adore, tell her how you're over her and want me.” Courtney pointed to Bianca then to herself as she talked. 

“Courtney, I love you but only see you as a friend. I'm sorry but I don't want to be with you.” Adore said with a stern voice. “You need to stop.” 

“But you said..” Her lip began to quiver. “You said you didn't want her because she hurt you.” 

“No I didn't.” Adore backed herself against Bianca. “It's always been her. I'm sorry.” 

“But I love you.” Courtney began to cry.

“I'm sorry.” Adore whispered. 

 

Bianca smirked at Courtney then wrapped her arms around Adore's waist. Trixie and Katya walked out quickly knowing they shouldn't be in the room. 

Courtney put her clothes back on and ran out crying. 

“I'm sorry Bianca. I shouldn't have done any of that, if I knew how much it'd hurt you or cause her to think that we would become something other than friends I never would have done it.” Adore turned to face Bianca seeing the woman had a small tear run down her cheek. “I'm so sorry. I never meant to break your heart. I seen you and Sasha last night and it killed me knowing I hurt you so badly. I hope you can-” Bianca kissed her wrapping her fingers in her hair. 

“It hurts yes, but I forgive you.” Bianca wiped her cheek then went back in to kiss her. 

 

\-------

Jinkx seen Ivy sitting at a table outside by herself reading and walked to sit across from her. 

“Hi..” They said softly seeing Ivy look up then back to her book. “I know I upset you and I'm sorry.” 

“It's okay. I was stupid to get upset, I just don't understand why.” Ivy closed her book and looked at Jinkx. “Why don't you ever want to talk about it, or even want to share such a moment with me? It's not like I'm forcing you and I really hope that's not what it seems like I'm doing because I'm truly not.’’

“I do, I really do! It's just hard for me to talk about it because I'm afraid of what will happen to our relationship after. I would love to share such a moment with you, seriously. But like I said, I'm afraid of what will happen to our relationship.” Jinkx rubbed their eyes trying not to panic. 

“Why are you so afraid Jinkx?” Ivy reached for their arm only for it to be pushed away. 

“I think we need a break. Just for a little bit.” Jinkx looked back to Ivy and seen the tears start to run down her cheek. “Ivy please don't cry.”

“You're telling me you're afraid of our relationship going to shit about a subject that we should both be on the same page with each other and understand one another then break up with me and expect me not to cry about it?” Ivy stood up holding her book and started to walk away. 

“I do want to. Just not with you.” Jinkx stood up as Ivy turned to look at them crying harder. “Shit.”

“So you're fine with having sex with anyone else but me? What's wrong with me that you feel that way Jinkx?” She pointed to her chest as she spoke. 

“Nothing is wrong with you baby, I swear!” Jinkx began to walk up to her. 

“Shut up.” Ivy ran inside running into Katya falling onto her knees. 

 

“Ivy, oh my gosh I'm so sorry!” Katya bent over to help her up. “You're crying.. Why are you crying?” She ran a thumb over her cheek. 

“Can we talk in your room please.” Ivy looked at Katya trying to fight her tears but couldn't stop them from coming. 

“Of course.” Katya held her hand as she led her into the room and closed the door behind her. “Sit down honey.”

“Jinkx broke up with me. They even said they want to have sex, just not with me and are afraid to talk about it because they're afraid it'll ruin our relationship.” She leaned into Katya. “I just don't understand what's going on Katya. My mind is a mess trying to figure all of this out. Most of the time it's them bringing the subject up, not me. I'm just so confused.” 

Katya rubbed the girls back at a loss of words also trying to figure it all out but couldn't. 

“They.. They broke up with you? Ivy baby I'm so sorry. Come here.” She pulled her into her lap and wrapped one arm around her waist and the other on her back so she could rub it as she cried into her neck. “I'm so sorry. It'll be okay.” Katya kissed her cheek feeling the tears and her hot cheek as it broke her heart more seeing her beautiful friend so broken. 

 

\---------

Tatianna woke up from her nap and looked up to see Aja sleeping. She reached up to rub their cheek then kissed their lips softly causing them to wake up and kiss her back. 

“Hey sleepy head.” She smiled as she pulled away looking into their eyes. 

“Hey,” they returned the smile. “That was a nice way to wake up.” 

“Oh yeah?” she leaned in closer.

“Mhm.” They pulled her closer and kissed her again softly wrapping their hand in her hair. 

“Aja, I need to tell you something..” She pulled away looking at them with a nervous expression. “You can leave if you want, I'll understand. You don't even have to look or talk to me again either.”

“What is it?” Aja sat up on their elbow.

“I'm in love with you..” She looked down. “I've always felt a connection with you even before you left. Then you came back and I realized that I've always loved you and you've been here with me ever since I came home and I appreciate it so much and I truly do love you.” Her voice was shaky. 

“I always thought you were into Adore, it always seemed like you were.” Aja moved hair from her face then rubbed her cheek. 

“I thought I had feelings towards her but I know that was wrong and I needed this all to happen to wake myself up to realize my feelings.” She bit her lip still looking down.

“Tati.” She looked up. “I'm in love with you too.” They kissed her feeling a smile from her. “You're perfect.”

 

\-------- 

Aja had to go and do a two hour shift while Bianca took care of Tati and examined her to make sure nothing messed up or was out of place. 

“Hey Aja,” Jinkx said softly. 

“Hey, how are you?” Aja smiled.

“Um, can I talk to you?” Jinkx began to pick at their sweater.

“Sure. I'm heading outside anyway.” Aja wrapped their arm around their shoulder as they walked out and sat at a table. “What's wrong?”

“I was wondering if you could help me with something..” Jinkx looked back down and started to pick at their nail polish. 

“Ookay.. With what?” 

“I broke up with Ivy, or told her we need a break, all because I'm an idiot and couldn't tell her the truth.” They put their hood on. 

“Oh god, did you cheat on her?” Aja's jaw dropped slightly.

“Hell no. I'd never do that to her, ever.” They looked up quickly. “I've been bringing up sex a lot lately and I know it's been confusing her because she thinks I want to then I immediately say no and it's been getting to her. I may have also said that I want to have sex, just not with her..” 

“Jinkx, why would you say that?” Aja gasped.

“Like I said, I'm an idiot. I didn't even want to say it but it just came out.” They rubbed their temples. “I know she's not a virgin-”

“Yeah but not willingly, you have to think about that. So basically she is on her terms.” 

“Oh.. I forgot about that. God I'm stupid.” They looked at Aja. “But I am, and that's why I've been so scared to talk to her about it because I'm afraid it'll ruin our relationship but I did that already by breaking up with her.” They sniffled. “I need your help.”

“Jinkx, I love you but I can't help you with that since it would be in a different position with her.” Aja laughed.

“Ew no I'm not asking to fuck you, I'm asking if you could buy something for me.” Jinkx laughed.

“Are you on hormones yet? Or at all?” Aja asked confused.

“No, not yet. I wanted to wait until I was out of here.” They sighed. 

“That's when I started too.” Aja smiled. “Yeah, I'll get you some. You should really talk to her about this though and tell her the truth so you both are on the same page.” Aja held their hand as they nodded. “My lunch is in 5 minutes so I'll go to CVS and get you what you need okay?”

“Thank you.” Jinkx got up and hugged them before going back inside to look for Ivy.

 

\-------

“Bianca, I'm sorry I've been such an asshole to you. You truly don't deserve any of it.” Adore sat on the bed. “You're the greatest person in the world and all I do is hurt you. All I want is for you to be happy and I don't give you that, I just give you pain.” 

“Adore you give me happiness even when we're at our lowest and say we hate each other, you still make me happy and I will always love you. You're the most beautiful, talented, woman I've ever met even with a bit of stupid mixed in,” they both laugh. “Even with love there will sometimes be a fight or so but that has never stopped me from loving you. You're the missing piece I've been looking for. I love you so so much and I never want to lose you.”

 

As Bianca spoke Adore felt her heart beat faster and faster with each word as it filled every part of her with love. She knew one day she'd meet the one person who would show her what true love really was, but never knew she'd find it in a hospital that was meant to help her and especially not with a doctor but she did and couldn't be happier. 

 

“I never want to lose you either Bianca.” She smiled then Bianca turned around to grab something from a drawer.

“Then will you marry me?” Bianca pulled out a small box with a ring that had a single diamond on it and went on one knee. 

“Yes!” Adore nodded and began to cry pulling the woman back up to kiss her and so she could put the ring onto her finger.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of deleting this whole chapter and rewrite it but let me know what you think of it.   
> Enjoy!

Trixie spent an hour looking for Katya but couldn't find her, she asked everyone if they've seen her but nobody had since that morning. She went to check her room but the door was locked and began to worry, she never locked the door and since Adore was walking around she knew it wasn't her in the room.

“Adore, do you have a key to your room? I can't find Katya and the door is locked.” Trixie tried not to sound worried but Adore could tell she was just by her eyes. 

“No, not on me I'm sorry. I left it in the room before the whole Courtney show. Did you knock or ask Sasha if she could open it?” 

“I knocked but didn't hear anything and Sasha won't open it for me since I don't share the room- hey! Where are you going?” She followed Adore.

“I'm going to ask her to unlock the door. It's my room too.” She laughed. “Or did you not think of that?” 

“I wasn't thinking of that actually.” They both laughed. 

 

Before they got to Sasha's office Jinkx ran up to them. 

“Have you guys seen Ivy? I looked everywhere but I can't find her and I'm starting to freak out.” Jinkx was talking fast before the girls could catch up.

“I can't find Katya either!” Trixie started to panic.

“Shit shit shit shit.” Jinkx began to quickly pace back and forth. 

“Jinkx baby, what's wrong?” Adore stopped Jinkx and held each of their shoulders so they could look her in the eyes. “Try and calm down.” 

“I broke up with her and I told her I want to have sex just not with her,” Both girls gasped. “but I didn't mean either of them and she ran off crying and I'm scared that she's going to do something terrible!” Jinkx began to cry. 

“My room!” Trixie grabbed their hand and all three ran to her room. “Shit!” They seen Ivy wasn't in the room and showed no sign that she's recently been in the room. 

“We need Sasha to open your door, now!” Trixie ran after Adore with Jinkx close behind her. 

“Sasha!” Adore knocked on the door quickly. “Sasha! Open the door please!” 

“She went with Michelle to a meeting about a new girl, what's wrong?” Bianca walked up to the three wrapping her hair into a bun. 

“We can't find Katya or Ivy anywhere and my room is locked and we're worried something is wrong. Do you have the room keys?” Adore held Jinkx so they wouldn't end up putting themself into a panic attack. 

“You don't have yours!” Adore shook her head no as Bianca ran back to her office then quickly ran to the girls room. 

 

\--------

Katya and Ivy were laying on her bed facing each other wrapped in the blanket. Katya finally got her to calm down after crying and softly rubbed the girls cheek so she would feel comfort. 

“Thank you Katya, I'm sorry for pouring all of this onto you.” Ivy looked at Katya's lips begin to form a small smile. “You have such a pretty smile.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled more. “You don't have to apologize to me, I told you in the library to come to me if you needed to so why wouldn't I listen?” 

“I know, I just don't want to feel like I'm pouring so much out onto you.” Ivy looked back into her eyes and seen what could have been a sparkle. 

“I actually enjoy hearing you talk so you can pour away about any topic, doesn't have to be about this if you don't want it to be.” She smiled. Hearing a slight knock on the door but assumed it was for Courtney's room. 

“Is something wrong with me?” Katya opened her mouth slightly and shook her head. “Then why do I feel like there is? I feel like I'm not how they want me to look and that's why they don't even want to touch me.” Katya ran her hand down her arm then put it on her waist. 

“Look, you're perfect in every way. You have the most beautiful hair I have ever seen, your freckles may be soft to see but they're cute and you're just all around perfect. If they don't see that then they don't deserve you.” As she talked Ivy started to smile and Katya slowly began to pull the girl closer until her waist touched hers. “You deserve someone that notices every inch of you, even the smallest things like your freckles. Have they even noticed you have them?” She whispered no. “See, they should be able to but I don't think they pay attention to art when it's right in front of them.”

“I even have them on the back of my shoulders but nobody has seen them because of the shirts I wear.” She smiles. “Is that how you see Trixie?” 

“No.” Katya moved a piece of hair behind Ivy's ear then pulled the girls head closer to join their lips together causing Ivy to make a soft whimper. 

Katya pulled away opening her eyes and seeing Ivy looking back at her with an expression she couldn't read.

“Can I please have another?” Ivy begged making Katya feel something in her stomach she's never felt before.

“Okay..” Katya pulled her back in continuing to kiss her while running her hand up the girls thigh. Ivy tightened her grip on Katya's jaw as she touched her. 

 

\-------

“Katya!” Trixie yelled. Both girls jumped up seeing Trixie, Bianca, Adore and Jinkx in the room and doorway. Adore grabbed Jinkx’ arm turning around to run out and to the group room as they cried hard. Bianca stepped out and waited next to the room in case it turned into a physical fight. 

“Trixie I can explain!” Katya crawled over Ivy and walked up to Trixie seeing her makeup smearing down her cheek. “I was trying to calm her down from the fight she and Jinkx had and I got so caught in the moment with her and I wasn't thinking! I'm sorry baby!” She tried to hold her arm but was pushed back. Ivy went to run out but Trixie pulled her back by her hair then pushed her onto the bed and began to hit her. “Trixie no!” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Trixie screamed as she kept hitting her. 

 

Bianca ran in calling for Aja to come help her and pulled Trixie off of her trying to hold her back as Aja ran in and grabbed Ivy from the bed seeing her face bloody picking her up then ran to Bianca's office setting her onto the bed and ran back to the room to help Bianca.

“Trixie calm down!” Bianca yelled trying to hold her back as Trixie fought to get out of her hands. She always kept a tranquilizer in her jacket pocket just in case something happened, she took it out and quickly pushed it into the girls arm causing her to groan and go limp. 

Aja helped Bianca take Trixie to her room to sleep then sent Aja back to Katya's room so they she check out Ivy. As Aja ran back to the girls room they seen her crying as she tried to wipe the blood from the bed. 

 

“Katya it's going to stain if you keep doing that, strip the sheet and I'll run it to the laundry room and throw it in to wash.” Aja rubbed her back softly talking to her. Katya nodded and both stripped the bed of her sheet then she dropped to her knees.

“I don't know what I was thinking. She was so upset over Jinkx and asked what was wrong with her to make them not want to be with her or even touch her,” she hiccuped “and I went on about how perfect she is and went into detail over everything I noticed on her and she said they never noticed what I listed and told her that she didn't deserve someone who never noticed the cutest things on her even if they might be small, like her freckles. Then I pulled her in and kissed her because I was thinking how she needs someone she deserves and want her instead of hurting her like that.” Katya looked down at her hands before wiping her cheeks.

“Do you feel like maybe... she deserves you?” Aja asked stunned from what Katya just told them. 

“Nobody deserves me. But she deserves someone who observes and finds the simplest things on her the way I have.” She wiped her cheeks again. “Even Trixie doesn't deserve a monster like me and I really don't deserve her. This is the second time I've cheated on her while being with her. She forgave me the last time and I know for a fact that she won't forgive me now.” 

“Who was the first one?” Aja asked as they rubbed her back again. 

“Farrah. But she forgave her immediately since it was her last day and knew we wouldn't have a thing anymore. It took me a month for her to forgive me.” Katya let out a deep breath. “I know I just ruined everything for Jinkx and Ivy though. God why am I so stupid! I ruin everything!” She threw a pillow at her wall.

“Okay Katya, calm down please.” Aja pulled her in their arms. “You can fix this! There's always a way even if it doesn't end up the way you hope.”

“That's funny. I told the same thing to Ivy and she got dumped.” She laughed. “It never ends well when I'm involved or help in any way I can.” 

Aja sighed still holding Katya not knowing what to do or say. 

 

\-------

“Why would she do that? I never thought she'd do that.” Jinkx cried into Adore’s neck as she held them. “I hurt her that much that she would go and do that? Especially with Katya!”

“Would you have wanted it to be with someone else?” They nodded. “Who?” 

“Courtney.. She told me before they had a crush on her.” Adore wiped their cheek.

“I thought you said she told you that because she was scared of what your answer was going to be?” Adore began to rub soft circles on their shoulder with her thumb. 

“I never believed it but didn't tell her that because I didn't want to fight with her.” They sniffled. “But I'm glad I caught her doing it instead of her hiding it then I- oh my god grab that!” they pointed to a small trash can behind Adore then began to throw up in it right when she gave it to them. 

“It's okay, let it out Jinkxy.” Adore started to hum softly hoping it would help calm them. When they put the trash can down far enough behind them so they wouldn't knock it over on accident, she stopped humming. “Are you okay or do you need to again?”

“I'm okay, I think it took over instead of having a panic attack or something.” They grabbed a tissue and wiped their mouth. “What were you humming?”

“Oh nothing, just a new song I've been working on. I kinda think it's lame and might stop from making it.” She laughed.

“What's it called?” Jinkx smiled.

“ _ Take Me There.”  _ Adore poked their nose. 

“Sing it, please.” They asked as they put their hood on. Adore cleared her throat then sat up straight.

“I'll sing a part from it, it's not the beginning but I like this part.” They nodded.

 

**Take me there** ****  
**You know I really wanna go** ****  
**Take me there** **  
** **You'll never have to be alone**

**Moonlight, it's a shot in the dark but it's a good time** ****  
**Yeah, we're making our mark** ****  
**And if it feels right, take a piece of my heart** **  
** **Tomorrow doesn't mean a thing**

 

“I like it. I can easily tell who it's about too.” Jinkx smiled but couldn't hide that they were still upset. “Adore, can I tell you something?”

“Of course Jinkx.” Adore turned to face them better.

“I didn't want to break up with her but I was so stuck in my head thinking about everything all at once and began to panic so I thought it would be better so I could figure it all out but I obviously made a mistake.” They sighed. “I asked Aja to buy me something, ugh I'm so lame I can't even say it,” they shook their head. “but I asked them to buy it so I could talk it out with her and so she could understand why I'm so scared to make love to her and be prepared in case it turned into something. Was I stupid to wait and tell her?” they looked at Adore trying to hide how upset they were.

 

“You should have been honest yes, but if you were or are nervous to tell her then you could have done it at your own pace instead of just dropping the relationship completely. I know you were feeling like you were going crazy but being honest would have helped to calm it all.” She rubbed their arm. 

“I know, but I felt like I couldn't get the words out.” They sighed. 

“Jinkx, did you admit to me that you asked Aja to buy you condoms and that you're a.. A virgin?” Adore asked sounding calm but was confused.

“Yeah.. I'm 19 and still a virgin. How pathetic is that?” They laughed then put their face in their hands.

“I don't think it's pathetic, you've been waiting for someone special to share it with. I think it's sweet honestly.” Adore lifted their chin so they could look at her. “If I had done that, I would have waited until meeting Bianca. I wish I did wait because it would have been a moment to remember forever.” She smiled at the thought.

“Can't you just think of the first time you guys had sex as that?” Jinkx asked confused.

“No.. Because it wouldn't feel right saying it.” She looked down at her hands. “Look, before coming here I was a huge slut or a whore even. I slept with anyone who would give it to me no matter what it was just so I could feel wanted, so it would never feel right if I said sleeping with her was the first time because the memories would just come back of everything I did.” 

“I'm sorry..” They held her hands in their own.

“For what? I've gotten over it but the memories are still stuck with me and probably will for the rest of my life.” Adore wiped her cheek. “Now with Ivs, it's a different story. You know her story and so do I, she thinks of herself as a virgin still even though she was forced to you know.. And just because that happened doesn't mean you have to think of her as not being one, technically she is. Do you truly love her?”

“Yes. More than anything in the world.” 

“If you feel that way about her and I know she feels the same way about you, then maybe you both should share the moment together. Now I'm not saying you have to, I'm saying if you want to then why not?” She held their hands rubbing soft circles on top. 

“You're right..” They gave a soft smile. “But what about what she did with Katya?” 

“It was a kiss, clearly nothing else happened and I don't see her as the type of doing anything further. It hurt you yes, but she was vulnerable and did it because she was lost and not thinking. It happens sometimes.” Adore rubbed their cheek.

“Like you and Courtney?” they looked at Adore and seen regret on her face. “I'm sorry!”

“No it's fine, but yeah. Like with her, I wasn't thinking because of everything that was running in my head and upset with B. Hell me and Court were in a deep fight before it even happened and it was like an entire other person took over. But B forgave me after I explained everything and proved I wasn't wanting to be with Courtney or anyone else. Love is strong even when there's fights but if you know it's true love, nothing can break that.” 

 

Jinkx jumped into her lap giving her a hug and thanking her for showing and telling them what they needed then got up to see Ivy.

 

\---------

Aja went into Jinkx’ room and seen it was empty from Courtney being outside by the pond and Jinkx with Adore. They went to their nightstand and put the small box in the drawer and closed it softly then looked around their side seeing a familiar shirt on the ground. 

“Adore?” Aja grabbed it and walked out seeing her walking towards them. “Back in there.” They pointed to the group room. 

“Where did you get that? I've been looking for it.” Adore reached for her shirt as Aja locked the door. 

“I found it on the ground poking out from underneath Jinkx’ bed.” They pushed the shirt into Adore's chest. 

“Woah if you're thinking we did something, we didn't. Courtney must have put it there or it ended up there when we um.. yeah. I never even touched Jinkx like that, hell I’ve never even kissed them on the lips only their cheek or forehead.” She put her hands up in front of her chest as she began to talk.

“Oh.. Sorry, I was just scared that something went on since all of this had gone down.” They rubbed the back of their neck. 

“It's cool, I understand. I would have been nervous too.” She laughed. “Were you in there putting the condoms away?” 

“You know?” 

“Yeah, they just told me. That's sweet of you to do for them, but if it happens where the hell do they plan on it happening?” She whispered. 

“Good question.. I could offer my room maybe, or they could ask to use this room to sleep in for comfort since Ivy got fucked up.” They both looked around thinking if it could work. “I'll be on duty every night for two weeks so I could easily keep anyone from going in here.” 

“That might work. But I don't think your room would be okay because of the cameras. Michelle would catch that so fast just like she did with me.” Adore shrugged. “You'd actually let them have sex in your room though?” She laughed.

“She'll be on vacation the two weeks I'm working and the tapes only film two days worth and can easily be deleted. I heard the guy tell her before he left and he told her he can't change the settings of it and she wouldn't be able to either. They're set.” Aja laughed. “I can make them change the sheets and blanket too. I don't mind them using my room.” 

 

\------

“Okay, hold this to your nose while I clean the rest of the blood from your lip and cheek.” Bianca handed Ivy a gauze as she grabbed a alcohol wipe. “It's going to burn but I don't want to risk your lip getting infected at all.” As she wiped her lip Ivy squeezed Bianca's arm from the burning. “I know, I'm sorry sweetie.” Bianca felt bad but would rather do it rather than Ivy's lip get infected. “Okay, all done with that. Luckily your nose isn't broken but there will be bruising on it and slightly under your eyes.” She turned to throw the gauze and wipe away after cleaning the blood from her nose. “You're lucky she didn't break it or you really would have hated me.” She laughed hearing Ivy groan. “You're going to have a bruise on your cheek as well but by the look of it it'll be small and probably won't be noticeable.” 

“Thank you Bianca.” Ivy sat up and hugged her.

“No problem honey.” Bianca hugged her rubbing her back hearing Ivy softly cry.

 

Jinkx walked up to the door and knocked even though it was open. Both girls looked seeing them standing there making Bianca smile and step back from Ivy.

“Is she going to be okay?” They walked in going up to the bed.

“She's perfectly fine, thankfully nothing is broken. She's a strong one.” Bianca rubbed Ivy's arm smiling at Jinkx. “I need to go wash my hands.” She knew they needed to talk and needed a quick excuse to leave even though she knew they would figure it out since she had a sink in the room.

 

“Ivy, I know you didn't mean to do that and it's okay. I'm hurt a little bit but I'm not mad at you.” Ivy looked down feeling bad. “I forgive you for doing it and I'll forget about it but I feel we really need to talk.” They jumped onto the bed next to her.

“Okay.. I'm really sorry Jinkx..” She looked at them and seen they had a small smile. 

“I know I told you I wanted a break and that I want to have sex but not with you,” Ivy looked back down at the floor whispering “I know.” They lifted her chin to look back at them. “But I didn't mean any of it. Whenever I'm overwhelmed with so many thoughts in my head I end up saying things I don't mean and those were two things I will regret for forever. I love you and want to be with you, in every way you want. The reason I've been so scared to talk about the subject and was afraid of what will happen to our relationship after telling you is because I'm afraid of how you'd think of me after.”

“I wouldn't judge you.” Ivy held their hand. “I love you and I wouldn't judge you for anything unless you killed someone then I'd judge you a little bit.” She laughed softly as they smiled.

“Ivy, I'm a virgin and afraid that you wouldn't love me  or want to be with me after finding out.. I'm sorry.” They looked down.

“Why would I do either of those? Jinkx, I am madly in love with you and I wouldn't leave you because of this and it doesn't make me love you any less.” Jinkx looked back at her. “If you're not ready then that's okay and I respect that.”

“What if I am? I don't want to push you into it or make you feel like I'm making you, because that's not what I'm doing.” Jinkx started to panic.

“I know you're not, it's a sensitive subject but I understand completely.” She smiled and rubbed their cheek. “If you feel like you're ready then that's okay.”

“I just want us to share such a moment together, like you said and you were totally right.” They seen her smile again.

 

“I always am.” She flipped her hair from her shoulder in a joking way and laughed. “And if you're wondering, I'm ready too.” She held their hand.

“Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to or feel uncomfortable and not ready.”

“I thought this over many times and talked to Sasha about being scared and she said it's common with people who went through the same as I did. They either sleep around a lot just to fill the hole that they have in their heart just to feel something or feel like someone needs them just to be happy, willing to give all of their love but knowing they might not get it in return. Then there's people like me, wanting to rebuild themself and wait until they feel like they have someone to share a special moment with and know that the person loves them no matter their damage and understands their want to wait. Even call themselves virgins since their first time wasn't wanted.” She squeezed their hands softly. “But I'm ready and I want you to be ready and not force yourself if you're not.” 

“I respect that you feel that way about yourself and worked so hard to get there. I love that you're willing to wait because I'd do the same exact thing for you. I truly am ready.” Jinkx smiled and kissed her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Ivy felt a tear drop on her cheek and pulled back to wipe away the tears from their face. “But we can't unless you have a condom.” 

“I talked to Aja.. They bought some.” Ivy looked mad. “I wanted to have them for when we both were ready and not panic about it. Please don't be mad” her face softened.

“I'm not mad, I'm glad you thought that over actually.” She pulled them in for a hug. 

 

\-------

As Katya put a new sheet on her bed she felt a hint of jealousy, anger, sadness, and pain all in one then ran to the bathroom to vomit. After she finished she sat in the corner of her stall with her arms wrapped around her knees and began to cry. As she cried she heard someone run into the stall next to hers and heard her begin to vomit as well. She slightly looked under her stall and recognized the sweater and pants as Courtneys. 

“C-Courtney?” She heard the girl jump back and gasp. “It's just Katya. Are you okay? We haven't had dinner yet unless you've had a snack.”

“Sasha commented that I've been looking well and noticed in my file that I've gained a healthy amount and that my progress has been well. I feel like a cow and I don't want to feel like that.” She began to cry. “It's been a month since I've done this Katya. A month! But ever since she said that I've been in here doing it even if I haven't eaten.” She cried harder then punched the stall door. “I want to stop doing this but I can't! I need help!” Katya flushed then crawled under her stall to be in Courtney's to hug her and comfort her. 

“You need to tell her or Bianca, someone!” Katya felt the girl shake her head. “You can't get the help you need if you can't tell someone. This is just going to get worse, you need to stop it before it does.” Katya began to rock side to side hoping it'd calm her down.

“I told you, you can help me!” She pushed herself back before quickly turning to vomit again.

“I know you're doing it again this time from being this upset. Your anxiety is getting to you now. Court, I love you but I can't help you the way they can.” 

 

After sitting in the stall together for an hour Courtney eventually fell asleep sitting in Katya's lap with her head resting to the side of her neck. Katya picked her up as she stood up and flushed the toilet before walking out of the stall and walked to her room so she could sleep in her bed. She covered Courtney up to her neck like she always did whenever she needed comfort and walked out closing the door behind her heading back to her room thinking how she could help Courtney. She knew telling Sasha and Bianca would be the best thing to do but she just kept walking and closed her door, curled up under her blanket and began to cry until she fell asleep. 

 

Adore walked in and heard Katya snoring and knew she only did when she was in a deep sleep after being upset. She knew that she was hurting after everything that happened but what she didn't know was how bad Courtney's gone to shit. 

She laid on her bed playing with her ring that she kept hidden in her bra so nobody would see it right away and put it on her finger smiling. She rolled onto her left side put her hand under her pillow and imagined what her life would be like with Bianca on her side and finally out of this place and eventually fell asleep. 

Not too long after the two fell asleep the dinner announcement was made and had no choice but to get up and head to eat. 

 

“You fall asleep too?” Katya asked as she yawned.

“Yeah, I didn't mean to though.” Adore put her ring back into her bra. 

“Boob problems?” Katya pointed. 

“No, my bra was out of place.” She laughed as she stood up. 

“Adore?” Katya stood up.

“Yeah?” Adore put her hair in a ponytail. 

“If you knew your friend needed help from Sasha or Bianca but didn't want to tell them or want you to tell, what would you do? Even if it were for something serious.” Katya showed she was struggling to not panic.

“Are you the one you're referring to, because I will help you with whatever you need.” Adore held both of Katya's arms.

“No, it's not about me. It's about Courtney.” Katya's voice began to shake. 

“Oh god is she okay?” Adore began to panic.

“Have you noticed she's started to fill out more, how healthy she's starting to look?” 

“Yeah.. I noticed when.. Yeah, why?” she asked confused.

“It's because she hasn't been forcing herself to throw up. I was in the bathroom earlier and she ran in and started to throw up in the stall next to me. When I went into her stall with her, she told me she hasn't done it in a month but I guess Sasha pointed out that she's been doing well and at a healthy weight so she started again and wants to stop but feels like she can't and kept yelling at me that she needs help but doesn't want to ask and doesn't want me to ask for her.” Katya panicked.

“We or you need to tell Katya. She could die from this!” Adore started for the door.

“Wait! Let's wait until after dinner and keep an eye on her and if she goes to do it then one of us goes to get one of them for help.” Katya held Adore's hand.

“Okay.. But we should really tell now, but if you think we should wait and watch her then I'll do it.” They walked out and headed for the cafeteria since it was starting to rain. 

 

When dinner was done with the two girls watched to see what Courtney was doing and seen her holding a book and walking to her room. 

“She might not do it..” Katya said as they watched from the hallway. 

“Excuse me but you two know you're not allowed to stand in the halls alone.” A guard said from behind them making both girls turn around. 

 

As the girls attention was on the guards Courtney quickly walked to the bathroom until she got inside and ran to a stall closing the door but didn't lock it, dropping to her knees and stuck her fingers down her throat causing herself to vomit. 

When the girls walked to her room to “hang out” they seen she was gone and ran to the bathroom. When they ran in they seen Courtney laying on the ground like she tried to crawl out and her face turning blue. 

“COURTNEY!” Adore screamed as she ran to the side of her picking her up setting her head onto her lap trying to wipe the vomit, blood and what she guessed was either foam or spit from her mouth but more kept coming out. Katya was already in Bianca's office and they were running in as Adore kept trying to wipe Courtney's mouth. 

“Courtney! Courtney can you hear me!” Bianca yelled as she pulled her from Adore's lap and turned her onto her side. She handed Adore her phone so she can call for an ambulance. 

“There's blood!” Katya pointed to the toilet. There was blood on the seat since she didn't bother to lift it, the floor and even on her thighs. “So.. So much blood.” More began to come from her mouth along with the spit. 

“No no no, come on Courtney wake up!” Bianca was trying everything to get oxygen into the girl but nothing was working. She tried CPR for the third time but it still wasn't working. “Come on, please wake up. I can't fail you too.” She tried again. 

 

The paramedics ran in getting Courtney onto the gurney quickly putting an oxygen mask on her. 

“We need you to come with us Bianca!” She ran behind them and left. She was determined to save Courtney and not feel like she failed at saving another girl. 

 

Adore and Katya were left scared and speechless as they watched the paramedics take Courtney away with Bianca following. 

 

“I should have told her right away.” Katya whispered before fainting onto Adore after the girl pulled her in for a hug. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I'm back!  
> There's some fighting in this chapter but it's not that bad.

****

**_-2 weeks later-_ **

 

“We'll be back later tonight, are you sure you both are cool with taking over tonight?” Aja asked Sasha as they began to put on their jacket. 

“Yes! I told you this like ten times already, no go on your date already before I drag you out to your car myself.” Sasha started laughing as she pat Aja on the shoulder causing them to smile. 

“I love you Sasha.” Aja hugged her then headed to the front door to meet Tatianna. 

 

“Hey! There you are, I was getting worried you were going to bail and hide.” Tatianna smiled then hugged them. “I'm totally kidding by the way.”

“Yeah sorry, I was double checking with Sasha.”

“For the hundredth time?” Tatianna started to laugh.

“She said it was the tenth!” They both started laughing as they headed for the car. 

 

“Did you leave them the key?” Tatianna asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

“Yeah. They're freaking out, how was she?” Aja started the car and began to head for the city. 

“Same. She's nervous she'll end up backing out but I told her that if she's not ready then to just tell them. Maybe they'll just have a sleepover.” She rolled down the window half way and began to light a joint then handed it to Aja. 

“Jinkx is worried about the same thing.” They said as they blew out smoke. “Damn, Blair sure knows how to get the good stuff.”

“Oh shit! This is from her! She's so innocent I never would have guessed!” Tatianna said as she was truly shocked. 

“Oh trust me, she's not so innocent. You should hear the things she moans late at night.” Aja coughed as they exhaled. 

“Oooooh tell me!” Tatianna grabbed the joint from Aja as they turned. 

“Ahhh Cour-Jimmy!” Aja moaned in their best Blair voice. 

“Holy shit!” 

 

\-----------

“Bianca?” Katya knocked on the woman's office door waiting for her to open. 

Bianca slowly opened the door letting Katya inside. Katya has never seen Bianca look so worn down and seeing her look worse everyday has taken a big toll on her. Feeling guilty for not going to her after putting Courtney in her bed and knowing she's the reason for Bianca looking this way and Courtney laying in a hospital bed with tubes connected to her in any place possible, she began to break down. 

“Hey hey hey, what's wrong?” Bianca rubbed her eye before pinning her hair back in the messiest bun that probably ever existed. “Take a seat love.” 

“I'm sorry Bianca!” Katya sat down bringing her knees to her chest wrapping her arms around her legs and crying. 

“Sorry… Sorry for what? Is this about Courtney again?” Bianca sighed as she sat down. 

“Yes… why do you make it seem like you're so annoyed or mad whenever I bring it up!” 

“Because you bring it up almost every fucking day! It's annoying Katya!” Bianca screams as she throws a hardcover book at her hitting her face causing a small cut. 

“What the fuck Bianca!” Katya put her hand up to her cheek while grabbing a tissue. “I'm worried about her! Can't I worry about my friend?” 

“If you're so worried about her why didn't you come to me in the first place instead of putting her to sleep!” Katya's eyes went wide and her mouth slightly dropped open as a tear ran down her cheek. “She wouldn't even be laying in that hospital bed being tube city if you had done that!”

 

Katya turned to leave punching the wall on the way out breaking her knuckle but ran out of the office instead of screaming in pain. 

When she got back to her room she slammed the door shut, jumped on her bed and grabbed her pillow to scream into from the pain of what Bianca had said to her knuckle throbbing. 

She heard her door open slowly so she put her pillow down and looked up to see Trixie walking in and closing the door. 

 

“Baby… What's wrong?” Trixie sat next to Katya pulling her onto her lap to hold her. 

“Apparently I I can't ask about Court.. Courtney anymore.. Bianca made that very clear.” She hiccuped while trying to stop from crying then she looked up to see Trixie's mouth open slightly knowing she seen the mark on her cheek. “She threw a book at me.”

“What? Why!” Katya flinched slightly as Trixie softly ran her finger over the open cut. 

“We were arguing about why I ask about Court so much and she said she's tired of hearing me ask about her and that it's my fault she's tube city in the hospital right now.. Which is true. I should have taken her to B once I seen her in the bathroom.” She squeezed both of her hands into tight fists before screaming out in pain from her broken knuckles. 

“Kat, it's not your fault! You thought you were helping, you were helping her but she showed she didn't want it and if she did want it then she wouldn't have done it. It's a hard thing for her to stop doing, especially because of how long she's been doing it. It's going to be hard to help her out of it but… we can't all be heroes baby. You tried and she's alive.” Trixie held her close to try and keep her calm.

“Hardly.. Her throat is so damaged she needs an air tube Trixie. God why didn't I just help her the first time!” Katya threw a pillow then jumped up and began to pace back and forth. 

“Kat, you need to calm down!” Trixie stood up and reached out for her but Katya slapped her hand away then tackled. “Katya! Stop! Please!” Katya began to scratch and hit Trixie anywhere she could as Trixie desperately tried to block her.

 

A few seconds later Ivy and Jinkx ran in. Ivy pulled Katya off of Trixie and pushed her onto Adore's bed while turning around to help Jinkx sit Trixie up. Once she turned around Katya pulled her by her hair dragging her back to the bed then slapped her before punching her one time busting her lip before jumping back screaming again from her knuckles. Ivy pulled her knees to her chest then kicked Katya off of her even more so she would be on the ground. 

Jinkx and Ivy both managed to get Katya to calm down before checking on Trixie who was curled into a ball in the corner of Katya's bed leaning her head against the wall. She was too shocked to show any emotion before looking at Katya.

 

“Just because you're upset at Bianca doesn't mean you can attack me like you did to her.” As she looked away again Sasha ran into the room. 

“What the hell happened in here!” She looked at the four of them then turned to yell for Bianca. 

“What the hell! What happened!” Bianca ran in to Trixie's side while Sasha went to check Ivy's lip. 

“Apparently you fucking set her off.” Trixie said while Bianca pulled out alcohol wipes handing one to Sasha then began to clean Trixie's scratches. 

“Blair, I need you in here and grab Kenny.” Sasha called on her walkie. “Asap.”

“How the hell did I make her do this?” Bianca pressed harder. “I didn't do a damn thing.” 

“So telling her to fuck off, shut up about Courtney and basically saying it's her fault isn't something that would set her off?” Bianca backed away slightly looking from Trixie to Katya then back to Trixie. “Yeah, good job.” She got up and walked out heading to her room. 

“You told her what!” Sasha stood up and walked over to Bianca. “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

 

Blair and Kenny walked in already knowing what happened after seeing Trixie in the hallway. 

“Take her to the white room and log her to be there for two weeks, please. I'll be there shortly.” Sasha said pulling Katya up. “If she gets hostile you know what to do.”

“Yes ma'am.” Both said as they helped Katya out of the room. “Do you need any other assistance?”

“No guys. I got it. Thank you.” Sasha said as she turned back to Bianca. “If what she said was true, you're a horrible person for that. Now take the day off so you can reflect on what happened.”

“Do not try and counsel me like I'm one of them!” Bianca yelled as she got closer to Sasha. 

“One of them? One of them! You mean everyone you claim to love and accepted them as your own kids besides Adore of course, wouldn't want to call her that since you two have been fucking around the entire time she's been here. You know, you're so lucky I've had your back about that but now that you said that, I realized I shouldn't have. Fuck you Bianca.” Sasha walked out pulling her phone out dialing Michelle. 

 

Bianca looked at both Ivy and Jinkx seeing their eyes were watering.

“I didn't mea-” Bianca tried to walk closer to them before they both walked out slamming the door behind them. 

 

\----------

**_~one week later~_ **

Ivy woke up and noticed Jinkx was gone. Their spot was still warm so she knew they probably just got up minutes before her. She laid back down and scratched her thigh forgetting she slept without any bottoms on jumping slightly from the cold of her hand. 

“Jesus, why is it so cold in here.” She sat up and walked to the vent and seen it was closed. “Ugh.” She opened the vent just a bit then walked over to the bed bending over to pick up her shorts as Jinkx walked in. 

“Well good morning!” Ivy jumped but was still bent over grabbing her shorts. Jinkx walked up behind her hugging her as she stood up. They heard her make a sort of squeak noise and noticed what happened. “Oh my god, I'm sorry!” They pulled away covering their erection. 

“No it's okay, just not used to feeling it behind me.” She smiled as she turned around and kissed them. “I think I'm...ready.” 

“Me too.” Jinkx smiled and pulled her in for another kiss. 


	25. Chapter 25

“Are you sure you're ready?” Jinkx asked as Ivy locked their bedroom door. Since Courtney was still in the hospital, Jinkx had the entire room to themself unless Ivy managed to sneak in at night.  
“Yes. Are you sure?” Ivy held Jinkx’ hands as a comfort for both of them.  
“Yes.” Jinkx smiled and kissed Ivy before sitting her onto the bed as they undressed while Ivy still had just her shirt and panties on it didn't take them long to take them off of her. 

Jinkx slowly took off her shirt followed by her bra. Once they got to her panties they froze. They were ready but they were worried if she truly was ready to be touched yet.  
“Um.. Jinkx?” Ivy said softly causing Jinkx to jump out of their thoughts and look at her. “Why are you just staring at um… there?”  
“Are you truly sure you're ready for this? To be touched again?” Jinkx crawled up to her face to see if they can read her honesty in her eyes if she were to lie.  
“Yes I am. I've thought this over plenty of times Jinkx, I am totally ready. Don't worry my love.” Ivy pulled them in for a kiss and helped Jinkx pull them off.

As Ivy began to kiss them they lined themself up with her and slowly started to insert themself into her waiting to hear when to stop and when to keep going.  
Ivy gasped and broke from their soft kiss squeezing her eyes shut making Jinkx pull out from her and sit up to make sure she's okay.  
“Ivy! Are you okay?” Jinkx began to slowly panic.  
“I'm okay, keep going.” She really was okay, she just wasn't aware of their size and how it would affect this part.  
“Woah..” Jinkx laughed.  
“Told you I was ready.” Ivy joined in the laughing. “Okay, I'm ready to go if you are.” 

\----------------------------------------------  
“Hey B! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!” Adore said cheerfully hopping on top of the exam table. “What's up babe?”  
“I want the ring back.” Bianca said without any emotion in her face or voice. “Please.” She looked at Adore and seen the look on her face that broke her small ice cold heart.  
“Wha…. What?” She tried to keep herself from bursting into a big ball of tears. “Why?”  
“I need to get out of here and I can't risk anymore things against me. So please Adore, give it to me now.” Bianca walked close enough to Adore that the young girl pulled her in so she can kiss her. She backed away from Adore moving the girls hands from her shoulders and into her hands. “I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore Dorey. I love you.. I really do but-”  
“But what! There's always a ‘but’ whenever you tell me you love me, half the time I don't even think you mean it and never even truly loved me.” Bianca started to shake. “See! You can't even say anything because you know I'm right! What's the reason this time hm? I'm not what you want anymore, too crazy to handle, I annoy you? What is it!”

“Sasha called Michelle after we got into a fight! She said I'm lucky she never told her about our relationship but she couldn't...wouldn't hold it anymore and walked out calling her. I need to get out of here before she comes back.” Bianca look defeated. The only time Adore has ever seen her look this way was when Pearl died.  
“Michelle told you to leave?”  
“No.” Bianca sat next to Adore.  
“Then why are you saying you need to leave now?”  
“To save her the trouble.” Bianca looked at Adore seeing in her eyes that she was so in love with her but was having her heart ripped to pieces by the woman she's trusted more than anyone.  
“Then why do you need the ring… Why can't I keep it? I'm not going to be here much longer, we can wait for each other.”  
“I don't want that..” 

With that, Adore jumped off of the bed crying almost as hard as when she found out about her mom. Bianca knew she needed to get out of the office before being fired but she couldn't stand not seeing or being with Adore everyday. It hurt her picturing both of them sitting around not having each other so she thought of what, she figured was best, for the both of them. To break the engagement and their whole relationship off.  
She fought herself from taking it all back and risk the both of them being together but apart until Adore was finally able to leave which is only a month away. 

Adore pushed Bianca off of her after she tried to hug and hold her but she didn't want her to touch her at all. She ran outside and up to the very edge of the lake then quickly took the ring off.  
“Adore don't!” Bianca was running after her.  
Adore looked behind her seeing Bianca running to her, “fuck you!”, then threw the ring as far as she could into the lake.  
“No! Why did you do that? That was my grandmother's wedding ring!” Bianca grabbed Adore's arm as she yelled. “I got that when she died, do you have any idea how much that meant to me!”  
“Well now it's dead with her!” Adore smirked as she yelled back.  
“How can you say that? How can you be so heartless?”  
“Just watched you and learned I guess. You are the queen of being heartless and an ice cold cunt after all.” Adore pushed Bianca's hand off of her arm and began to walk away.  
“I love you Adore..” Bianca was crying so hard that she could hardly speak at all. “But I can't risk my job and I can't handle us doing a distance relationship. I wouldn't be able to sleep or function without worrying about you or wonder if you're doing something with someone else.”  
Adore turned around quickly.  
“1. You will never know what love is and you never loved me. 2. You honestly think I'd cheat on you? Bianca when I put that ring on my finger, I was ready to give you my life, my soul, my everything because I'm so in love with you and ready to live the rest of my life with you. But I was also so blind. We could have made it work because distance wouldn't be a problem, the problem is that you're so far up your own ass that you're scared you'd fuck around on me but couldn't stand imagining that so you put it in your thick ass head that it'd be me doing it.” Adore was now so angry that she felt her stomach bile rise. “So I repeat, FUCK YOU!” Adore turned around and headed back inside leaving Bianca to cry.

Two hours went by and Bianca was almost done packing up her office when Sasha walked in.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Leaving before Michelle gets here and chews my ass out. I know you called her and told her, I'm just saving you both some trouble.” Bianca wiped her cheek, still upset about what happened with Adore.  
“Bianca, I never called her. Yes I was pissed off at you and yes I mentioned your relationship, which I regret, but I'd never rat you out or I would have when I found out about it.” Sasha was hurt that Bianca thought she'd do that but understood why she was worried.  
“I seen her picture while it was ringing when you were leaving Katya's room.” She felt irritated but knew it was because she was upset and managed to keep it down. “You called her.”  
“Yeah, to tell her what happened. I still have to report things like that too her.” Sasha smiled then looked down. “I just can't believe you thought that I would do that to you.”  
“I..I'm.. I'm sorry.” Bianca choked up.  
“It's okay, I would have thought the same thing.” Sasha hugged Bianca. “Does Adore know you're leaving?”  
“Yeah… it ended horribly.” Bianca closed her eyes to stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks.  
“What happened? Talk to me.” Sasha pulled both of them to two chairs and held her hands in her own.

After Bianca told her everything that happened Sasha couldn't help but sit with her mouth open and tear rimmed eyes.  
\-------------------------------  
“Ivy, time to wake up, it's almost dinner.” Jinkx wrapped their hand around her waist and pulled her in closer to kiss her shoulder then began to trace her freckles. They heard her soft snoring getting quieter and knew she was pretending to still be asleep now. “I know you're up now.” They laughed as she rolled over to face them.  
“I'm surprised you're not sleeping still.” Ivy smiled as she kissed their chin. She looked them in the eyes seeing nothing but love filled eyes and started to twirl a finger through one of their curls. “I love you.” She smiled and seen their eyes begin to water.  
“I love you too. So so much, you have no idea.” They sniffled.  
“Why are you crying?”  
“Because, I just love you so much and I don't know what I did to deserve you. You're everything I've ever wanted and knowing that I have you just means so much more to me and makes me so much more happier than I have ever been in my life. Having shared so many firsts with you, like making love to you was an experience I'm glad I was able to share with you. You are my everything, Ivy Winters.” They ran their fingers through her hair as they told her everything and wiped her cheeks as they began to stain with tears as well.  
“I don't know what I did to deserve you either but whatever it was, I'm so glad I have you.” She held them.  
“How are you feeling? Are you hurt at all?” Jinkx kissed the top of her head before laying on their back so she can rest her head on their chest.  
“I'm fine. I don't hurt at all.” She lied, she was really numb and felt like she was on fire or ripped in half but she didn't want them to worry or panic that they truly hurt her so she smiled to hide that she was hurting and lying. “We should get dressed and head to eat, we don't need to get in trouble.” She laughed as she got up and started to get dressed. 

When Ivy leaned over to pick her clothes off of the floor she felt a strong stab like feeling in her stomach and knew she needed to see Bianca right away.  
“Hey I'll meet you there okay? I have to pee really bad.” She knew how to hide pain really well so she was able to pass by Jinkx with no problem.  
“I can wait for you if you want.” Jinkx said as they pulled their hoodie on. “It's no problem babe.”  
“No it's okay, I'll just meet you there.” She smiled and left the room.

\-----------------------  
“Trixie..” Adore said softly as she walked up to her sitting in front of the lake.  
“Yeah?” Trixie has been very quiet and kept to herself ever since her fight with Katya.  
“Can I sit with you?” Adore was the only one Trixie has talked to since the incident.  
“Sure.” Trixie looked at Adore and seen her face was puffy from crying. “What's wrong?” She began to softly rub the girls back.  
“Just.. Nothing, it's stupid.. Are you ready to leave?” Adore was able to hold herself together which shocked her a lot since she just wanted to cry and hit something.  
“Yeah. Whenever you're ready, let's go.” Trixie smiled then stood up to grab Adore's hand. “Ready Dorey?”  
“More than you know.” Adore held her hand. “Lets go!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave comments and kudos, they will be very appreciated!


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